Critters 2 Page #2

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Well, sh*t.

I reckon you'll come back

when you get hungry.

But I'm going home.

Mr. Quigley? Len?!

Are you here?

Nana, it's scary

in here.

It's okay, hon.

Nothing here

can hurt you.

Especially no dead frog.

- Don't touch that!

- I didn't hurt it!

Never mind that, Len.

Where are those Easter eggs

you called me about?

Oh, they're

in the back.

Where on Earth

did you get these, Len?!

They're from Europe.

What are you

asking for these?

Uh...

That's not what you'd ask

the church, now, is it?

Oh, of course not.

Of course not!

I'll give you $20

for the stack.

You can have

half for $25.

- 20.

- For half.

These really are

special, aren't they?

Yeah, really.

- How long are you in town?

- Just through Easter vacation.

- Where do you guys live now?

- Up in Kansas City.

KC, K or KC, MO?

This isn't for

"The Gazette," is it?

I'm thinking of going to college

there next year, okay?

Sorry, I just get nervous

with reporters and stuff.

'Cause of all that talk

about those...

space monsters

a couple years ago?

No such thing

as any "space monsters."

Really?

Yeah, that was just a stupid kid's

dumb dream. It never happened.

Oh, thanks for

helping me, honey.

And for being such a good girl,

I've got a present for you.

- What?

- Just wait.

Wow, a chocolate bunny!

It's better than chocolate,

honey, it's carob!

You might as well

take one of these too.

- Thanks, Nana.

- Happy Easter, darling.

Sh*t.

Easter sucks.

Jeez-oh-peese.

What the...?

Chili Dog?

Chili, boy.

Chili?

Chili, wake up, boy.

Looks like someone's

getting sleepy.

Not me!

Go on. You want to be

bright-eyed and bushy-tailed

for the big Easter egg hunt

tomorrow morning.

But I'm not

sleepy yet, Daddy.

- Really!

- Uh-huh.

Come on,

I'll tuck you in.

Okay...

"Okay..."

- 'Night, brat.

- 'Night, creep.

Super daughter.

- Want to get under the covers?

- No, it's too hot.

Oh, okay. 'Night, night,

sleep tight.

Don't let

the bedbugs bite.

I'll just bite it

right back!

Yeah. Oh...

uh-oh!

What's that

in your hair?

'Night, Daddy,

I love you.

I love you, too.

I'm going to bed now,

Bradley.

Don't stay up

too late.

You knew no one

would believe it.

Didn't you?

I sure do

miss you, Charlie.

Where did you go?

Honey, are you all right?

Oh, I'm sorry, honey.

- Your Easter candy's a real mess.

Would you look at this?

You ladies are doing

a wonderful job.

Now, Reverend!

Those are

for the children.

The Easter

Bunny's here.

Right on time.

Midge, would you bring

the sheriff his package?

- Here you go.

- There you are.

Are you sure you couldn't get

somebody else to do this?

Sheriff Harv did it

for 20 years running.

Well, I ain't

Sheriff Harv!

Don't be

such a gloomy Gus.

Sheriff, just help us out.

Who knows, you might even

have yourself a good time.

Fat chance.

Well, you better

hurry, ladies.

- Resurrection's in 45 minutes.

- Oh!

- Put this down on the other side.

- Okay, Emily.

Spread them out

so they're all even.

Good morning,

children.

Happy Easter.

We're going to have

to be patient today.

We can't start the hunt

until the services are over.

I have it on good authority

that the Easter Bunny himself

just might make

an appearance.

Go on now!

Thank you.

Boy, pretty good

crowd today.

I haven't seen you

since Christmas.

- I thought he was gone!

- He's trouble.

...back here.

- That's him.

Brad!

Welcome, friends.

Welcome one and all.

Today, of course,

is the Day of Resurrection.

So it seems only fitting

that some of you

have chosen this day

to resurrect

your church-going habit.

Why'd I ever let her

talk me into this?

Honey, that's

awfully beautiful.

Aw, this is great.

The Easter Bunny with

his Tehachapi hanging out.

It'd give them kids

a real education.

What the hell was in you?

...and entering

into the sepulcher,

they saw, sitting

on the right side,

a young man...

clothed in a long,

white garment.

And they were

afrighted.

Come on, sweetheart,

let's go.

There you are.

My dad just ran

your grandma home.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm all right.

What do you think

happened to the sheriff?

You heard 'em. It was probably

some kind of farm accident.

Farm accident?!

You saw him!

That was no

farm accident.

What are you

trying to say?

You were telling the truth

about those things.

- There are no such things!

- I don't believe you.

I mean, I do

believe you.

I mean, I believe what

you said a couple years ago.

Do me a favor and don't

do me any favors, okay?

Don't you think

we better go see Harv?

Well, I'm going.

Megan...

Harv?!

We need you in town, something

awful's happened at the church.

What the hell are

you doing here, boy?

We think it might have

been those... creatures.

What creatures

would that be?

- It's true, Harv.

- You see 'em?

Not exactly, but l...

Then don't be bringing me grief!

You go tell the sheriff.

- The sheriff is dead!

- They got him up at the church.

His stomach

was eaten out.

Folks are saying it was some farm

machine accident, but it wasn't.

You have to come with us, Harv!

What are you doing?

What does it look like

I'm doing, Einstein?

I'm doing what

any intelligent,

God-fearing

Grover Benders would do!

I'm haulin' ass!

You can't leave now!

This town needs you!

Yeah? This town

voted me out in a landslide.

This town can

kiss my ass!

I can't believe you're

just going to run away.

We need you, Harv.

We need a sheriff.

Go check the yellow pages.

hi...

this here's

American culture.

Good reading.

G-Good articles.

Transform.

Oh no, Lee.

No, no, Lee.

Don't look at me, Lee!

Kill Crites.

Hey, guys!

Hey, wait up!

Hey, Lee!

Lee, you're gonna

need this!

Okay, let's think about this. Maybe

there is a logical explanation.

What do you mean?

Like really bad stomach ulcers?

It could have

been a dog!

Yeah, and it could have been

the brain from Planet Eros.

You saw him, Brad.

It was no dog.

What's the matter?

I need a little air. I was going

home to take a hot bath and I see...

- Slow down.

- Rolling, rolling, towards me...

- It's getting bigger and bigger...

- Take a breath!

And it's got

these big teeth...

- Where did it go?!

- Into Quigley's.

- Mr. Quigley!

- Get in the truck. Lock the doors.

You can't go.

Let's get help!

Who are we gonna call?

Critter Busters?

Just stay behind me

in the truck!

Mr. Quigley?

Anybody home?

Mr. Quigley,

are you okay?

Nobody's home.

Let's get out of here.

Get up!

Bradley,

look behind you!

Get in the truck!

Get in!

- Roll up the window!

- It's broken!

- Come on!

- God damn it!

Come on, come on!

- You're flooding it!

- Then you drive!

Dear God,

that critter thing!

Get away,

I am not kidding!

Yuck, veggies, ugh!

Nana, the critters

are here.

No, sh*t, Bradley!

Damn meat eaters!

Where are you going?

Bradley!

- Where's the communicator?

- What communicator?

The one the bounty hunters

gave to me.

Bounty hunters?!

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