Critters 2 Page #3

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- The space guys.

- Oh, you mean the remote control.

- It's always on the TV.

- Not the remote control.

Nana, this is not

the remote control.

Those bounty hunters!

That was fast.

- More Crites.

- Yeah, a lot more.

Boy am I glad

to see you.

B-both of you.

These guys are great.

Charlie!

Brad.

I can't believe it!

Look at you... all dressed up

like one of them.

Well, I am one of them.

I'm a bounty hunter.

Yeah, right.

No, no, no.

I work with them.

Are you still...?

I don't need that anymore.

See... see...

up in space,

I am somebody.

See, I got a job

and a meaning.

So I guess that means

you won't be staying long then.

Probably not.

B-but, see, Brad...

I gotta go where

the cosmic winds blow me.

I gotta...

go...

where no man

has gone before.

Well, it's really good

to have you back, Charlie.

Even if it's just

for a little while.

Hey, wait!

Help us out over here.

- That guy's crazy.

- Don't go in there.

# Hey, little buddies,

come gather 'round #

# This here's the very best

eating in town #

# The Hungry Heifer's

the place to be #

# Lip-lickin' good,

you can take it from me #

# Try a Polar Burger

and some buffalo chips #

# And wash it all down

with a Moo shake #

# Pat your tummy

and smack your lips #

# Suck for hours

on your fingertips #

# At the Hungry Heifer #

# We won't give you

a bum steer. #

Get out of the way!

Operator?! Operator,

can you hear me? Please listen,

I can't hear you. This is

the editor of the "Gazette."

We need to get the highway

patrol here right away.

Operator, can you... oh, God.

Oh my God.

I can't hear you.

All I can hear is static.

If you're there...

can you hear me?

Can anybody out there hear me?

Daddy?

- Thank God!

- The critters are real.

- I know.

- Daddy, are you okay?

- Yeah.

Did you guys hear that?

Let's get to the door.

- Oh no! Daddy!

- Get him up, come on!

- Go!

- For God's sake!

- Wesley!

- Wesley!

Chickenshit!

Go on inside. You'll be

much safer in there.

I need some more

bandages.

Daddy!

- Cindy, are you okay?

- What happened to Daddy?

Don't worry,

he's gonna be all right.

Sh*t!

Ug, what happened?

Crites feed

together.

Eat like a family.

Love meat.

A bad habit.

You guys

don't eat meat?!

Hey, who's gonna pay

for all this stuff?!

Look at the mess

you guys made!

No, Lee,

no, no, don't...

not this!

No, Lee!

Kill more Crites.

l-I gotta go, Brad.

Sorry.

It sure is quiet.

Maybe they're all dead.

I wish.

They're probably

waiting right outside.

There's a cheery thought.

It's like they're

teasing us or something.

I just wish I knew

where they were.

Lee?

Lee?

Lee?!

What are you doing?

No! No, no, no!

No, Lee, please!

Hold it, Lee.

Hold on.

This is the one.

This... now, this...

This... that's it.

Good, that's it.

Kill Crites.

Thank you.

Sweet Jesus!

What was that?

Lee?

Ug, what happened?

Where's Lee?

Ug's losing it.

Charlie,

what happened?

Lee's dead.

What happened to...

Ug?

Is he okay?

- He ain't breathing.

- He don't have a mouth.

Try and transform, Ug.

Ug...

I'm not a good enough bounty hunter

to do it by myself.

Hey, get back inside!

Go on!

If you don't get inside

I'm going to see to it

your dad blisters

your little butt!

Get inside

and lock the door.

I'm back.

Cindy?

Cindy!

Looks like we got us

a job to do.

- Did you hear that?

- Uh-huh.

- What was it?

Look!

Where are

they all going?

I don't know.

Looks like some kind of

critter convention.

There must be

hundreds of them.

We can't call

in the highway patrol.

All the damn

phone lines are down.

We've got to do something.

We can't just stay here!

Those things got the west road

out of town blocked.

- We're never gonna get past them.

- Same goes for the east.

Listen, this is

the safest place we can be!

Now, I say we stay here and wait

the little bastards out.

- These things won't leave.

- Mind your own business, boy!

This is my business!

They don't give up! We have

to fight them and kill them.

Seems mighty queer to me...

two years ago when

the critters first come,

they come

to the boy's house.

The boy's back in town and

the damn things are here too!

I've been through this before!

We have to fight these things!

We don't include you.

Now, I ain't listening to no

undersized kid from the big city.

Or no town drunk!

Or no no-faced spaceman

out of a flying saucer telling us

how to run our own town!

We didn't have this trouble

till the boy came back.

Let's not get hysterical here. That

boy saved my little girl's life.

This ain't no show of yours

either, Morgan.

I say the boy's

bad news in shoes.

What is this bullshit?

Them man-eating dustmops

got us roped up tighter

than a blue-ribbon bull

and all you folks can do

is stand here and play

kick-the-can with some punk kid!

If we set around here

on our duffs...

bitching...

we're gonna end up

tomorrow's leftovers.

I don't too much

relish that idea.

I think it's time

to fight back.

- We gotta blow them up.

- Oh, come on, boy!

No, no, I mean it! Go out

in the field and see for yourselves.

The critters are eating

the cattle out there.

It's just like Ug said,

they get together to feed.

So let's put out the most outrageous

banquet in the world for them.

What have you

got in mind, son?

Polar Burgers! We'll get them

into the hamburger factory,

lock them in

and then blow them up!

Who's gonna lead

this suicide mission?

Well...

it was my idea.

But I'm gonna

need some help.

Well...

I'm in.

I'll go.

Really?!

All right, you all

just volunteered.

Come on, you bunch

of pussies.

You've got nothing

to lose but your lives.

I'll get the gate!

Go!

Armed and dangerous,

everybody.

Oh my God!

It's working!

Let's roll.

Oh my God.

Harv, Harv!

Company's coming.

Wait up!

Hey, don't piss

them off!

Keep your distance.

Stay downwind of them things.

Everybody, ready?

Here they come.

Oh dear God.

Great.

They stopped.

Oh sh*t.

Charlie, come back here!

Charlie!

They're coming back.

- Brad, I think it's gonna work.

- Shhh.

Where did that

big one come from?

Oh my God.

Look at the size

of their leader.

Brad...

Ug.

It's the bounty hunter.

He led them back.

The door!

Run! Blow it,

blow it!

We fried 'em!

Are you okay?

Yeah. It's just ketchup.

Close one, though.

Get back, she's gonna

blow again!

Son of a b*tch.

Harv, it's heading

back to town.

Ohhh, Lord, Harv,

the children!

- Come on.

- Let's go!

Come on!

Come on, faster!

They're heading for town!

Come on!

Oh my God, I bet it's headed

for the church.

We gotta stop it!

Inside, quick.

Quickly!

Honey, do what he says.

Get inside.

Brad, look out!

Ram it, ram it!

I'm gonna hit it!

- Come on!

- Run, run!

Look!

I'm a bounty hunter!!

Charlie...

You mean that...

Charlie...?

Good ol' Charlie.

Brad, look at Ug.

Well, just go

on in, huh?

You practically got

the whole run of the bus.

Goodbye, Brad.

Goodbye, Charlie...

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