Crystal Fairy Page #5

[SPEAKS SPANISH]

[SPEAKS SPANISH]

It's gonna be fun.

It's gonna be fun.

She's kind of exhausting,

she's kind of exhausting,

huh?

Huh?

Nah, it was fun, yeah.

Nah, it was fun, yeah.

Man, what if we honestly just

man, what if we honestly just

find a hostel and drop her off

find a hostel and drop her off

at a hostel or something?

At a hostel or something?

No, man, you can't be serous.

No, man, you can't be serous.

You want to leave her alone?

You want to leave her alone?

Is she really going to come

is she really going to come

all the way to pan de azucar

all the way to pan de azucar

with us?

With us?

I mean, can you imagine having

I mean, can you imagine having

her around?

Her around?

[CHAMPA STAMMERS]

[CHAMPA STAMMERS]

Leave her at a bus stop,

leave her at a bus stop,

you know?

You know?

It's like, we've done our job.

It's like, we've done our job.

But she's, like, part of us,

but she's, like, part of us,

you know?

You know?

She's not part of me, man.

She's not part of me, man.

I hardly know her.

Jamie! Amigo.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, we're probably going to

yeah, we're probably going to

need some tampons now that we're

need some tampons now that we're

dragging this woman around.

Dragging this woman around.

Get her some deodorant too.

Yeah, that's great.

Get one of those.

Get one of those.

Man, do you think this is going

man, do you think this is going

to be crazy to have her with us

to be crazy to have her with us

the whole time?

The whole time?

Like, who she is?

Like, who she is?

If you guys are cool with it,

if you guys are cool with it,

though, I mean, you know.

Though, I mean, you know.

You guys are patient.

You guys are patient.

I just don't want it to ruin

I just don't want it to ruin

your trip.

Your trip.

She's not for me.

She's not for me.

Yeah, she'll be... no,

yeah, she'll be... no,

it'll be cool.

It'll be cool.

If she gets weird, we'll figure

if she gets weird, we'll figure

it out or get rid of her.

It out or get rid of her.

[DOOR SHUTS]

[DOOR SHUTS]

O.K., guys, there's room.

O.K., guys, there's room.

Let's get going.

Let's get going.

Cool.

That's mine. O.K.

What did she say, champa?

The room is only for four

the room is only for four

persons, but...

Persons, but...

There's four of us.

There's four of us.

There are five.

Jamie, I've been here before.

When?

When?

Exactly.

That's creepy.

CHAMPA:

CHAMPA:

JAMIE:

JAMIE:

I'm telling pilo to give his

I'm telling pilo to give his

bed to crystal fairy.

Bed to crystal fairy.

Oh, no. What?

Oh, no. What?

No, no. Why?

No, no. Why?

I'm happy on the floor.

I'm happy on the floor.

I don't mind sleeping

I don't mind sleeping

on the floor.

On the floor.

No, no, I don't.

No, no, I don't.

CHAMPA:
She's a woman,

CHAMPA:
She's a woman,

come on.

Come on.

She's a woman?

She's a woman?

What difference does it make?

What difference does it make?

Don't be sexist.

Don't be sexist.

He's right, we're all

he's right, we're all

the same.

The same.

Come on, I can sleep on the

come on, I can sleep on the

floor, really.

Floor, really.

Yeah, you're O.K. With it.

Yeah, you're O.K. With it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, you should have a bed.

Yeah, you should have a bed.

PILO:
No, really.

PILO:
No, really.

Yeah, you should have a rest.

Yeah, you should have a rest.

Pilo, are you sure?

Pilo, are you sure?

Yeah, it's fine.

Yeah, it's fine.

[SCOFFS] Thank you.

[SCOFFS] Thank you.

Oh, you boys are so sweet

oh, you boys are so sweet

and wonderful.

And wonderful.

Oh.

Oh.

God, what was going on in that

God, what was going on in that

park today before you got there?

Park today before you got there?

Those women, that was just,

those women, that was just,

they were like, the true

they were like, the true

expression of Kali.

Expression of Kali.

I mean, they had all the

I mean, they had all the

incredible goodness and the love

incredible goodness and the love

in them and then all the

in them and then all the

darkness and evil and it just...

darkness and evil and it just...

bam!... It came together and it

bam!... It came together and it

just was unleashed upon me in

just was unleashed upon me in

such a moment of wild humanity

such a moment of wild humanity

and then out of nowhere,

and then out of nowhere,

you guys were just... there.

You guys were just... there.

Yeah, that was crazy.

Yeah, that was crazy.

It was amazing.

It was amazing.

O.K., I think I need a beer.

O.K., I think I need a beer.

You want to go buy a beer

you want to go buy a beer

with me?

With me?

CHAMPA:
That's a good idea.

CHAMPA:
That's a good idea.

Bring some beer back.

Bring some beer back.

I would like some beer.

I would like some beer.

Would you like anything,

would you like anything,

crystal fairy?

Crystal fairy?

Um...

Um...

You know, no, no.

You know, no, no.

I'm O.K. You're good?

I'm O.K. You're good?

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thank you, sweet boys.

Thank you, sweet boys.

O.K., what would rather do,

O.K., what would rather do,

stick your nose into crystal

stick your nose into crystal

fairy's armpit and breathe in

fairy's armpit and breathe in

through your nose for two hours

through your nose for two hours

or make out with your father for

or make out with your father for

two hours?

Two hours?

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

Really try and imagine.

Really try and imagine.

Um...

Um...

I think I'll pick my father.

I think I'll pick my father.

And you too.

And you too.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I would have picked your

I would have picked your

father too.

Father too.

No, honestly, man, if she gets

no, honestly, man, if she gets

on your nerves, which I'm pretty

on your nerves, which I'm pretty

sure will happen, tell me.

Sure will happen, tell me.

Don't hold it in.

Don't hold it in.

Like, tell me and I'll deal

like, tell me and I'll deal

with her. O.K., thank you.

With her. O.K., thank you.

Seriously.

[WATER RUNS]

JAMIE:
What happened

JAMIE:
What happened

to the fairy?

To the fairy?

Did she fly away?

Did she fly away?

CHAMPA:
No, she's taking a

CHAMPA:
No, she's taking a

shower, man.

Shower, man.

That sounds good.

That sounds good.

She could use that.

She could use that.

We were playing this game on the

we were playing this game on the

street, would you rather,

street, would you rather,

or what would you rather.

Or what would you rather.

You know this game?

You know this game?

...What about a horse, you walk

...what about a horse, you walk

into a room, there's a horse.

Into a room, there's a horse.

You have to eat the entire horse

you have to eat the entire horse

before you can leave the room or

before you can leave the room or

you shave your father's pubic

you shave your father's pubic

hairs every Sunday and eat them.

Hairs every Sunday and eat them.

10 horses before that, man.

10 horses before that, man.

...Or run backwards for 40

...or run backwards for 40

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