Cuban Fury Page #4

Exactly the same. Just a

horrible, grumpy, old bastard.

Holy sh*t, Bruce. This is huge.

Is this for her?

"Is this for her?"

Yes, it's for her.

I'm thinking about asking

her to maybe dance with me.

That sounds good, so

what happens next?

- I'm just going go ask her.

- Wrong.

No, no, no. You don't go straight

in with a big romantic gesture

until you've done the groundwork.

She's like a blank wall, Bruce.

Firstly, you have to

apply the primer,

then the undercoat and then

you go in with the emulsion.

What kind of wall?

It might not need primer.

I'm serious, Bruce.

You can't go and ask her out

until you've done the undercoat.

Fantastic, that's just tremendous.

Hey, Bruce.

- Hey.

- Oh, hey, man.

You look nice, but you know what?

I'm already, er, sorted

with a phone plan.

Bruce, you need your shoes otherwise

you're gonna miss out on this frame.

- Good luck.

- All right, here we go.

Phone shop.

- Oh.

- Oh.

Here comes the dirty thunder.

Oh, the Gaelic gale.

- Huh? I hit seven, I think.

- Move over.

Oh.

- Never mind.

- Pump it up.

Amazing. Ah.

Can I just give you a little bit

of constructive feedback?

- Yeah, please do.

- Oh, yeah.

Well, uh, I've noticed a

little flaw in your game.

OK, listen, I think I know

what you're going to say.

This probably is about me

continually rolling the balls into

the recess gutters, isn't it?

- Yes, it is.

- Yeah. I think...

I think it's the only weakness

in my game, you know?

It is. It is the only weakness,

but, uh, it's a pretty major one.

- Yeah, it's a biggy.

- So let's deal with it.

Here, I'll show you. Come on.

Oh! Sumba, bunga, wunga!

Did you see that?

So you put your

fingers in the holes.

No. No, no, no, no.

No innuendo, OK?

The first rule of bowling is

there's holes and there's balls

and we're all adults.

We just have to get over it.

- Let's bowl.

- Yup.

Hold your ball like a baby.

- Throw it like a rocket.

- Yup.

Hold it like a baby.

Throw it like a rocket, yeah?

Yeah.

Hold it like a baby and then

I throw it like a rocket.

I hold it like a baby and then

I throw it like a rocket.

Hold it like a baby and then

I throw it like a rocket.

Sorry. Sorry.

I'm calling social services.

You're calling social services?

Why? Has he been within

100 metres of a school?

- You're up, Jules.

- Oh.

Go on, Julio, if that's your name.

Listen, you just focus on

your baby rocket big shot.

Yeah.

All right. Let's do this.

Come on, baby ball.

- I just need one strike.

- Oh, wow.

Have you seen the pants

on that guy over there?

- Go on.

- Here we go.

Did you end up keeping the shoes

or you gave them back or...?

- No, I gave them back.

- I thought they really suited you.

Ah, do you mind if I

just put my seat back?

- Oh, there's not much room here.

- It's just I've got such long legs.

Oh! That's better.

Bruce, we'll drop you off first.

All that exercise, you must be exhausted.

- Bye, Bruce.

- See you later, Brucie.

Loving the pad. Let's

get this party started.

Bruce!

Bruce!

- Bruce!

- Hey, shut up.

My God, I thought it was number 4

and then I thought it's number 14

and then I thought it was

number 40 and then I went to 14

and then I went to 40,

but there isn't a 40.

- How are you doing?

- I'm good. Hello.

- One more for me.

- You want a drink?

- Do you have any Fanta?

- I do not.

That's a shame, because I do!

Ooh. Wow. I'll get glasses.

No, no, no, it's not a wedding.

You drink from the bottle.

- Erm... thank you.

- Mm-hmm.

- Salamati.

- Ah, salamati

- Mm.

- Mm. Urgh, it's flat.

It's not flat. It's still.

It's still Fanta.

- They don't do still Fanta.

- They don't do still Fanta.

I have to make my own. You just open

the bottle. Put it on the balcony.

Two days later, boom, shake

the room, yes please.

- Ha.

- Mm.

Are you ready?

Do you want to go? Let's go.

You're going like this?

Yeah. What's the matter with this?

Well...

everything

What are these?

- Shirts.

- Polyester mix?

I'm thinking 50% polyester,

20% Crimplene, 5% wool, yes?

- Sure.

- It's bullshit.

Silk, smart, casual, breathable.

Yes, please.

Cotton, soaks up

sweat like a sponge.

Vest up, my friend.

Linen, flyweight for quicker

movements, show off those turns.

Synthetic, less friction

means fewer blisters.

Unless you like blister. Do you

like blister? Who likes blister?

- Pilgrims.

- Exactly.

Who's that?

Can you hold that a second?

What's going on?

Not taking my calls?

- Just busy. I've been busy at work.

- Three words. The Velvet Pussycat.

- What, now?

- Yeah, come on. Get changed.

- It's a Tuesday night.

- Yeah, exactly.

Bruce, do you have any

idea how hard I've worked

- to get Amanda to take up a hobby.

- Mm.

I've been masterminding Project

Pilates for six months.

Why do you think that is?

Two whole hours of freedom,

8:
30 to 10:30, once a week.

What do you think I'm going to do

with that time, sit indoors wanking?

I can do that when she's at home.

I'm just... I'm bushed, you know?

I'm just going to have a

bath and hit the hay.

A bath?

Oh, that's nice. Will it have

nice little bubbles in it?

- Who are you talking to?

- Eh? Who's this?

Hi. My name is Bejan.

Pleased to meet you.

- It's a mate from work.

- Mate? Oh, my God. I'm honoured.

- All right.

- It's a big, big moment for me.

Well, I'll leave you to your bath.

We weren't having a group.

We weren't going to do group.

He was going to go and I was going

to have a bath. Please don't. Don't.

Don't worry. It's fine.

I'll er... I'll go by myself.

- I'll give you a call later, yeah?

- Yeah.

Bye, Gary!

He's cute.

Two more things, your

hairy chest and a tan.

- No, no, no.

- Yes, yes, yes, yes.

- No, no.

- Bruce, what year is this?

Did we just go back in time?

Did we step out of the De Lorean?

Are we in 1985?

Is this Hill Valley?

Think McFly! Think!

- Ow.

- Sorry, I just wanted to...

So take this...

- and take this.

- Fine.

You've got ten minutes.

Run for it, Marty!

Ah. Oh.

Wow. It's so deep.

So natural.

How do you feel?

Thank you.

And on the 7th day, the Almighty

turned to his followers and said...

- What does that mean?

- Let's salsa.

- Oh. He's grinding her batty.

- Yeah, he is.

Yeah!

Oh, look. Look.

- That looks fun.

- Oh my God. They make me feel sick.

Salsa aerobics?

It's not a salsa. It is a cancer.

Go back to the leisure

centre, you b*tches!

- If I had a grenade right now...

- Shut up.

- I was just saying...

- A Middle Eastern man

talking about a grenade

in a packed night club.

- You'll start a bloody stampede.

- I'm saying if I had a grenade.

- Of course I don't have a grenade.

- Shush.

- Another Fanta.

- Let's have another Fanta.

- Hi, guys.

- Hey!

- So who's dancing?

- Oh, yes, please.

- Bruce.

- No, I'm going to sit this one out.

- I don't think so. Come on.

- Oh, please.

- Hi, Ron.

- Hey, are you all right?

Off. Off. Off.

What?

Get off this f***ing dance floor

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