Cuban Fury Page #3

Rubber sole. Old school.

A sh*t load of kudos

to you, my friend.

Personally, as a person,

I love the suede sole.

I'm a suede head. People, they say,

"No, you have to be rubber sole."

I'm like, "No, I love the suede.

I love the suede. I love the suede."

Don't you love the suede?

I tell you what. Take a look at this.

If you see here, if you

see where my sole is...

Come on, gather around. Come on.

I see what kind of a

sole you are, a**hole.

- Hey, don't...

- How are you today, guys?

Spread out a little bit.

Make sure you can see me.

Everybody OK, yeah?

Oh, we've got a new

student with us tonight.

Welcome to El Corazn.

What's your name?

It's fine. Don't worry about names.

I'm just passing through so...

- Sure, no problem.

- Thank you.

Let's pick up where we

left off yesterday, OK?

Basic step, everyone. Ready?

And one, two, three,

five, six, seven and...

- Sorry

- Yes?

I think I'm in the wrong class.

- Right.

- Where's Mr Parfitt?

- He's in his office, OK?

- OK.

All right, let's carry on.

Ready and...

What's he, um... Sorry.

What's he doing in there?

- I don't know.

- Fine, all right.

- I'm sorry. Crack on.

- That's all right.

- We will, thank you.

- Do your basics.

Thank you very much. Here we go.

Ready and one, two, three.

Hello?

- Hey. Are you not teaching me?

- I said I ran a class.

- Didn't say I taught one.

- Ron, please.

It's baby stuff out there.

Just one quick freshener.

Oh, I see.

OK.

I think we've done...

One private lesson.

How much do you want?

40 for an hour?

Oh, that's what you think.

You think I sit back here

waiting for someone to come

in and open their wallet?

Yeah, what are you waiting for?

Alicia.

- Hello.

- This is Bruce Garrett.

- Take him out for a quick spin.

- No.

Road test him.

Alicia teaches our advanced class,

2007 world champion,

dances cabaret style.

Oh, yes, yes.

You do know cabaret style, yeah?

Sorry, do I... You ask

if I know cabaret style?

Do you want to get warm?

You should, although you

look quite warm as it is.

I hear about you.

- Ah.

- The boy with fire in his heels.

Well, that's a long time ago.

Aw.

- You're in my yard now.

- Mm?

Oh, crikey.

Shh-ah.

Ah, cha.

- Ya.

- Rumba!

Ow!

Ow!

Ow!

Please.

Stop it.

Ooh.

Welcome back.

That's lesson one, son.

Thank you.

All right, dump truck.

Have you seen what

she's wearing today?

- Who?

- The big boss, yeah.

She's got her green number on.

Isn't that nice?

She's trying to tell me something,

you know what I mean?

She's trying to tell me something.

I'm going to leave a stink on her

that she will never get off.

I'm going to be on her like

bonfire smell, you know I mean?

She's going to be in the

shower changing her clothes.

She's going to be like,

"OMG, I can still smell him."

That's right, Julia. Get used to it.

I'm in your pores.

You're disgusting.

I think it's so cute when

you've got a little crush.

You get a little crush and you

get so disgusted. Listen.

Women like that use guys like you

to get advice about men like me.

It's empty.

Are you kidding me?

Argh!

Ah! Oh...

Oh, God.

Oh, my God. Oh, God.

- Oh, my God, are you OK?

- Yeah.

- Somebody call an ambulance!

- Really, no, I'm fine.

Don't move. Don't move. Don't move.

Don't move. Don't move.

In for two, out for two. Slow down.

- Was there a pastry in this bag?

- Yeah, I had an iced bun.

I was driving...

and then, all of a sudden, my tape

deck wasn't working and then bang!

All of a sudden you were on the hood

of my car. I thought I'd killed you.

Listen, don't worry. I'm fine.

OK. OK, you're OK.

- Yeah. We're OK.

- I'm OK.

You're alive!

I mean, I hit you with my car,

the least I could do is

give you a ride home.

Don't worry about it.

It's only a little car, isn't it?

Oh, my God.

Are you going to sue me?

No! No, gosh, no. Good

Lord, I'd never sue.

You know we're not... As a society,

we're not really big

suers, you know?

We don't... We don't do it.

God, you're rambling. Are you OK?

- Yeah.

- Are you sure?

- No, I'm fine.

- OK, what's my name?

- Do you remember my name?

- Julio.

Oh, there's the culprit.

- Oh.

- The cassette of death.

La casete de muerte.

Ah, Tito Puente, Willie

Coln, Ray Barretto.

Oh, yes, let's just put that

somewhere else far, far away.

It's uh...

I salsa, OK? I'm into salsa.

In fact, I was on my

way to salsa class,

which is why I was willing

to kill a man to get there,

so that's how much I like salsa.

All right, so you've

entered total shock.

Are you in a state of shock now?

I... I salsa.

Ah.

Right, sure you do.

Wow, now I'm really worried

about you. Are you OK?

Did Helen tell you about

the, uh, bowling?

'Cause we're going to do this

whole bowling-bonding thing

if you want to come.

Uh, yeah. Yeah,

definitely. Definitely.

I like bowling. I was...

I was born to bowl, really.

Born to bowl, wow.

That's a big statement.

One more time and...

One, two, three, five, six, seven.

Let's try that one more time.

Ready and one...

Oh, you, whatever your name is.

My name is Bruce Garrett and

I'm here to learn salsa.

Well, very nice to meet you, Bruce.

We're walking through some basics.

Ready and one, two, three,

to the side, six, seven.

Forward and turn. Back and shimmy.

One more time and...

one, two, three, five, six, seven.

Forward and turn, back and shimmy.

Nice one, Bruce.

Let's try that again. Ready

and five, six, seven, go!

Turn! Shimmy!

One more time.

Yeah, thank you.

Well done, everyone. Muy bien.

See you next week. Thank you

very much, guys. Thank you.

Woo.

Ah.

- I love this.

- Hey.

I just wanted to say sorry

for being rude to you.

Yes, you were.

You were very rude to me.

You were kind of a pig to

me, actually, a rude pig.

I'm kidding with you. God!

My name is Bejan, nice to meet you.

- I'm Bruce.

- Bruce, hi.

Bejan is actually my middle name.

My full name is Ali

Reza Bejan Ahmadzadeh.

Wow, a bit of a mouthful, innit?

Yes. Bejan means hero.

- Ah, that's nice.

- What does Bruce mean?

Uh, Bruce, I think it comes from the

old Saxon meaning bush or hedge.

Mm.

We're all hitting the

club if you want to...

- Oh, right.

- Boteco. It's hot sh*t.

The dance floor, fully programmable

LED ester and black glass.

- Wow. Semi-sprung?

- Yes, please.

Mm, it would be like

dancing on a glass pillow.

- You want to come? Take my number.

- I don't know.

- You don't want to take my number?

- Not your number.

You don't have to take my

number if you don't want it.

I can walk in the other direction.

Plenty of other people to speak to.

I'm sure one of them

want my number.

- I didn't mean that.

- I'm f***ing with you again!

Get a sense of humour,

for God's sake! Wait there.

I'm going to give you

my direct number, OK?

You call me on this any time

between 5:
30 and quarter to six.

That's a.m. I'm a morning person.

Thank you.

- I tracked down Ron Parfitt.

- Oh, my God. What's he like?

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