Daddy and Them Page #5

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- Can't you ever just have fun?

- Elbe, what in the world are you doin'?

I'm over here shooin

and Jewel and...

one of the girls

is watchin'.

I just got it in me

to pick something pretty.

Honey,

what are you doin'?

Kiss my ass.!

Well, I don't know

what them lawyers want...

but out of all of this they ought

to find somethin' they like.

We got the list.

We know what to do. Let's go.

A lone cowpoke wen ridin'ou

one dark and windy day

# Upon a ridge he resed

as he wen upon his way

#And all a once, a mighy herd

of red-eyed cows he saw

# Comin'hrough

he ragged sky

#And up he cloudy draw

# Yippee yi-ya

# Yippee yi-yo

# Ghos riders in he sky

# The riders looked on by 'im

he heard one call his name

#If you wanna save your soul

from hell a-riding on his range

# Then cowboy change your way oday

or wih us you will ride

# Trying o cach

he devil's herd

- #Across hese endless skies

- Everclear.

# Yippee yi-ya

# Yippee yi-yo

# Ghos riders in he sky

# Yippee yi-ya

# Yippee yi-yo

Problem is,

everything Elbe cooked is raw...

and everything

Billy here cooked is burn.

I should've knew better than

to let them try to barbecue anything.

But I got foot trouble.

Is Hazel goin' to the pen?

Well, if he would agree

to plead guilty to a lesser charge...

maybe we could work

something out.

However, he insists

on pleading not guilty.

I thought that's good,

isn't it?

It's real good

if you're not guilty.

Mr. Montgomery's

our client, Elaine.

We don't represent people

that we feel are guilty.

I know that, Lawrence.

But I also know

when a case looks tough.

I mean,

hey have an eyewiness.

Don't forget, I've been around

a little longer than you.

Nobody's arguing

with that, sweetheart.

Look, do I have to remind you

again and again and again...

No, you don't have to remind me every

time you get a f***in' hot flash, okay?

How much more f***in' often

could that be? Huh?

I mean, wha are you

reminding me of after all?

Your daddy's rich

and he bought you a career.

I don't know how f***in' impressive

you think that is.

- Go to hell.

- Listen.

Don't you think

the important thing right now...

- You know, I think I finally realized...

- is Hazel's defense?

The cuteness...

wears off really fast.

And besides,

with a 30-year-old...

you think you would expect more

than a four-minute erection.

I mean,

it is the point, isn't it?

So you just take your

mail-order law degree...

and you shove it

up your ass.

'Cause it's over.

I, um, think maybe we're not

the best attorneys for Mr. Montgomery.

Well, Claude,

are you happy now?

Hazel ain't got

no f***in' lawyers.

The Couny Superior Court

is now in session.

The Honorable Mr. Dorn presiding.

All rise.

All down.

Yeah, I go in

a lo of rouble in France.

I did most of my fightin'

in Belgium, military-wise...

but I kicked up my heels

in France a time or two.

What war did you lose

your legs in?

I ain't old enough to be in no war,

except the Gulf.

Oh, that wasn't no war.

Just a bunch of missile shootin'.

My ex-wife

shot me in the back.

Didn't even shoot 'em by hand.

They used computers.

One of'em was broadcasted

on the news from up and under a bed.

They say a lot of'em over there

got poisoned with somethin'.

I guess nobody told 'em a bed

wouldn't stop a nuclear rocket.

- No.

- Yeah.

Shot you just like that?

Drunk a half a bottle of Uncle Somethin'

or another's bourbon, then shot me.

I ain't heard

from her since.

Huh.

That middle boy of mine's

a crack shot with a rifle.

All right,

will the defendant please rise?

Mr. Mongomery,

do you undersand...

he naure of he charges

agains you, sir?

To ell you he ruh, Judge,

I don' undersand any of his mess.

- Say "Your Honor. "

- Huh?

Not "Judge. "

"Your Honor. "

Well, Your Honor, I didn't do

anything to get myself here...

that you wouldn't have done

or anybody else...

who had to go through what I went

through with that little sh*t right there.

Oh, my God!

You head-knockin'...

- redneck son of a bich.!

- All-All... All right!

You are crazy as a loon!

And, Judge, let me tell you somethin'!

- You don't know the devil that this man turns into!

- All right!

Your Honor!

That's what they told me to say.

All righ, I have order, boh of ya,

righ now.! Do you undersand?

- We understand the charges, Your Honor.

- No, we don't.

- Yes, we do.

- You're damn right you do!

- You hit me in the head with a doorstop made of solid iron!

- Kiss my ass!

What you doin' here?

Oh, my baby brother is being arraigned

on some serious charges.

He didn't do it, though. There's

somethin' off somewhere. He's a good boy.

Married an Englishwoman.

I didn't even know

she was mad at me.

She ain't spoke two words to me

since Teddy turned three...

six months ago

or somethin'.

Well, see there?

Children. That's somethin'.

J.C. Is screwin' everything that ain't

nailed down, and ain't come up with no babies.

I think he uses

them darn "condrums. "

And Alvin, he's got his nose

in a dag-burned book all the time.

And Claude, for all his car-hoodin' and

God knows what all with that little girl...

must be shootin' blanks,

or she's got female troubles.

Them your boys?

Grandchildren's

a whole lot easier...

to live with than real kids

is what I heard.

My boys is all I got.

Teddy and Jack, three and four, over at

their granddaddy and grandmama's house.

Well, see there?

Grandchildren.

Ain't you goin' in

to watch your brother?

I can't watch.

He lost his lawyers.

They had a "May and December"

marriage.

They give him a government lawyer

who seems nervous and ignorant.

All right, we're gonna try this again.

Mr. Montgomery...

- how do you plead, sir?

- Not guilty.

Not guilty?

Not guilty!

All right, sir, let...

- Mr. Caldwell, can you get control of your client?

- In cold blood!

- A nu he size of a damn loon.!

- You lie like a rug!

Order.! Order.! All of ya.! Everybody.!

- I'll kill you,

you psychotic little bastard!

Order! Order!

You in court?

My cousin Russell,

all over 38 dollars.

He was a hyperactive child

and still is, I guess.

Folks is messed up

these days.

Life's easier, and folks

is more messed up.

Yeah.

- Must be awful not to have the use of your legs.

- Yeah, i is.

At least I can hug my boys.

I was thinkin' the other day about

somebody bein' paralyzed all the way up...

turnin' their wheelchair

with blowin' in a straw.

Imagine that.

Not even bein' able

to shake a man's hand.

But your kids.

Imagine that.

Just havin' to sit there

and stare at 'em.

- They wouldn't understand.

- Daddy.!

You're never gonna

believe this!

What?

A man from the newspaper

wants to take our picture.

Lauren Walsh. I know him.

Good guy and good shooter.

Hi.

Hi.

Well, how come of'em to make

that court date so far away that way?

I mean, why don't we just do it

and get it over with?

Oh, courts are notorious

for that.

Supposedly they

have a backlog of cases.

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