Damsels in Distress Page #6

...located mostly

in the southwest of France...

...that the Catholic Church

repressed.

Oh, my God. The Catholic Church is,

like, always bad.

ldeas can't be killed

as easily as people.

Especially such enlightened ones

as the Cathars held.

ln recent years, more and more people

have returned to their beliefs.

So you're a Cathar?

Yes. l aspire to be.

l'm trying to follow the path

the Cathars marked out.

That's so impressive.

l can tell you we didn't have

any Cathars back home.

l think you'd be surprised.

ln the Cathar view...

...the highest form of lovemaking

avoids procreation entirely.

Sure. Condoms, right?

Well, according to Cathar ideas...

...sex with condoms is just a parody

of the procreative act.

What do you mean?

The standard, clich form

of sexual intercourse...

...is for the man to approach

a woman from the front.

Cathar lovemaking,

l think you'll find very fulfilling.

l'll be very careful, we'll go slowly.

lt'll be a new experience...

...but one which l think you'll find

brings an inexpressible closeness.

Might your drinks-buying friend

be around?

lt would be great

to get complimentary cocktails.

- Charlie? No.

- Do you still see him at all?

- He calls from time to time.

- He does?

- Why don't you introduce us?

- Why should l introduce you?

Because you know him,

and we don't.

So?

"So?"

"So" is probably the unkindest word

in the English language.

l can't bear it. l think it should

be outlawed. "So."

You're crazy.

Come on, Lily, you have Xavier.

- You can't keep two guys for yourself.

- Guys do that all the time.

We're not guys, fortunately.

lt's unconscionable for you not

to bring him and introduce us.

Charlie is a friend. He's a nice guy.

What do you mean?

l hate to think what'd happen

if you got your claws into him.

That's outrageous.

We're perfectly nice.

We've met lots of pathetic guys

and nothing bad's happened.

- Charlie's not pathetic.

- Well, all the better, then.

The Roman Holidays

will be coming soon.

- What's that?

- A festival Roman Letter Clubs put on.

A kind of moron jamboree.

The Roman elements are the worship

of Bacchus, Beerus and Blotto.

- lt could've all been so uplifting.

- Charlie.

Hey, Charlie.

Hey. What are you doing here?

- Have you the day off?

- Yeah.

This is my friend Charlie,

whom l think l've mentioned.

And, Charlie,

these are my roommates. This is....

This is Rose.

And this is Heather. And Violet.

Charlie works

for Strategic Development Associates.

He's an associate there.

You work in strategic development?

- You've heard of it?

- Of course, yes.

My cousin Jay in Philadelphia works

in strategic development.

Something business-related?

Mostly business,

but any kind of organization.

- Only businesses pay the big bucks.

- Nonprofits and government pay well.

That's how they keep

from having profits...

...by paying lots of money

to companies like yours.

Excuse me, but aren't you in Professor

Ryan's course at the Ed School?

No.

You're not in Professor Ryan's

Flit Lit course?

No.

- Flit Lit?

- The dandy tradition in literature.

- l'm sure l've seen you there.

- Yeah, l'm sorry.

l'm not in any courses

at the Ed School. Good to meet you.

- lt was great to see you.

- Bye.

God, Violet, what was that about?

That guy is definitely

in Professor Ryan's class.

Not possible. He has a fulltime job

for Strategic Development Associates.

He never got his coffee.

- Why lie about something like that?

- He's lying.

l find that very attractive.

What are you going to do?

l'm gonna stop cutting

Professor Ryan's class.

lt can be argued that Firbank

was too little disciplined...

...too unserious

in his unseriousness...

...to create works of enduring value.

But as a liberating influence

on later writers such as Waugh...

...his importance

should not be discounted.

lt's not Firbank's work itself

but the idea of his work...

...that so helped later writers...

...as Thomas Love Peacock

did in the previous century.

l'm not gonna come anymore.

- What a waste of time.

- Charlie.

Charlie.

- Charlie?

- Charlie, you are taking the course.

Charlie?

Who's Charlie?

- Fred, what's going on?

- Fred?

Fred. sounds like you got

some explaining to do.

- Well, you were lying.

- l wasn't lying, l was making it up.

Why were you making it up?

lf you were an eighth-year Ed School

student, would you advertise that?

Eighth year. lmpressive.

But your whole life was a lie.

Dressing up in suits.

Buying people drinks.

The suits were real.

The drinks, real.

Not just drinks for people.

They were for cute girls.

There's a perfectly rational,

easily explainable agenda.

So it was a playboy

or operator move.

- Of course. Transparently so.

- l admire that. Drinks are expensive.

But strategic development,

that was made up too?

- You said your cousin Jay was in it.

- What cousin Jay?

- ln Philadelphia.

- l don't have a cousin in Philadelphia.

You said your cousin Jay

was working in strategic development.

l was just saying that to be friendly.

To make a kind of link.

- So your name's Fred something?

- Yes. Fred something.

- Packenstacker?

- Oh, my God. How crazy.

He's completely insane.

l almost dated him.

- You can say that about a lot of guys.

- l don't think he's crazy.

Making up an entirely fictitious

identity, that's not crazy?

- lt's insane. lt's psycho.

- Violet's identity is made up.

- l don't think she's crazy.

- No, l am.

No, this is different.

lt's crazy and pathetic.

All that about strategic development

he just made up.

Don't tell me that's not weird.

l've heard of strategic development.

l think it's something

pretty important.

Violet, you're not gonna

start going out with him.

You're not, are you?

Well, we had planned

to go to the library.

- Not to the stacks, l hope.

- Yes.

Oh, my gosh, do you realize

how dangerous that is?

- Dangerous?

- Yes, the stacks.

They're dark and deserted.

Anything could happen.

lt's true.

With the study habits

at Seven Oaks...

...your body won't be found

until spring.

Promise you won't go with him

to the stacks. Please.

Okay. l'll suggest

the Randall Room.

- Don't suggest. lnsist.

- And please not at night.

Okay.

What are you reading?

Have you chosen a topic

for your final paper?

The decline of decadence.

You think that decadence

has declined?

Definitely. Bigtime.

Major, major decline.

How?

How or in what ways?

Either.

Well, take the flit movement

in literature, or homosexuality.

lt's gone completely downhill,

right down the tubes.

What do you mean?

Before, homosexuality was

something refined, hidden...

...aspiring to the highest levels

of creativity and often achieving it.

Now it seems to be musclebound

morons running around in T-shirts.

lt's pretty disillusioning.

Are you gay?

Not especially, but in another era,

it might have had some appeal.

- Now l just don't see the point.

- You might be romanticizing the past.

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