Daphne Page #3

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Yeah, I just find it weird

what manufacturers think

that pregnant women need

but other women don't.

Who's to say I could

be doing with more

selenium and magnesium.

Getting all the good sh*t.

Hey, I feel like I'm pregnant with

anxiety. I need the good sh*t, too.

Right, I mean, no,

I know, it's so unfair,

I mean, I was just gonna say

that if you were pregnant,

perhaps instead of all the

Vodka Red Bull you drank,

it might be better to just stick

to the vodka, slightly, you know?

Healthier.

What did you say your name was?

Didn't.

Hmm.

Is this is like a

Mexican standoff?

Well, that would be if we were

pointing guns at each other.

Are you allowed to carry

a gun as a bouncer?

Are you gonna ask me my name

- or am I just gonna tell it to you?

- You haven't asked me my name.

It's Daphne, according to

what you broadcast at a bar.

- Amongst other things.

- Oh, God.

What's your bloody name then?

It's David.

Hmm. Doesn't suit you.

Well, pleased to meet you,

David, for the first time.

Yeah, for the first time,

definitely.

Pleased to meet you,

too, Daphne.

Oh! No need to show off

with your fricking handshake.

- So listen, I was...

- You were about to ask me for my number.

I mean, that's very

forward of you to offer it.

- But sure, if I can get your number then.

- I was just about to say

I'd rather you didn't,

actually, sorry. Now go.

Right, no, fair do's.

50 grams of Pecorino.

You seem like a nice guy.

No, no, no, no

explanation needed.

Anyway, nice to meet

you again, Daphne.

I mean, for the first time.

- See you soon.

- Yeah.

Cheers.

Hi. How are you?

- All right?

- Cooking, are you?

Yeah.

That is 10 pounds 20, please.

- Yup.

- Hi.

- Sorry, me again.

- Well, hello, again.

Hi, listen, look. I know you

don't wanna give me your number

and that's fine, absolutely,

but I'm gonna give you

my number and you don't

have to call it,

but I just thought f***

it... You know life's...

- Short arse.

- Yeah, so, there you go, that's...

Sorry about this.

Is he bothering you? Are

you pestering this woman?

You what?

Yeah, he is, actually.

He's being a pest, yeah.

Go on, get out of the shop.

Yeah, go on, mate.

Get out. Be gone.

All right, all right. All

right, I'm going. I'm gone. See?

- I'm gone.

- Idiot.

Get out of here, idiot.

See you, mate.

Do you want a receipt?

- Uh, no.

- All right.

- I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?

- Bye.

Bye.

All right, Beth.

Oh, no, I'm not feeling

well. I'm not coming in today.

All right.

Oh, just, I'm just

not feeling well.

Have you told Joe?

Yeah, I realize that.

Please, take a seat.

What do I call ya?

Doctor or mister?

Adam's fine.

You don't look like an Adam.

So, are you Italian?

I mean, of Italian decent?

Jewish.

Oh, yeah. Of course

that makes sense.

Oh, sorry,

was I being anti-semitic?

Should I go out and

come back in again?

You were referred through

the Metropolitan Police

as part of their

victim's support scheme.

I understand you were

witness to a violent assault.

Perhaps you could start by

saying something about that?

About what sort of emotions

that brought up for you?

Certain emotions?

Mmm...

Things effect us in ways

we don't always expect.

Do you think that it's

true that we're just matter?

That we just die, and that's it?

Or the whole heaven

and hell thing,

that those are basic two choices?

Is that something you

think about a lot?

Sorry, you don't actually

know me or my life,

or anything about me, do you?

And are there people in

your life who do, Daphne?

Who... who do know you?

Why have you got every copy of

"Harry Potter" on your shelf?

It must have been

very difficult for you

to have witnessed

someone be stabbed.

How do you think you're

coping with it, Daphne?

What sort of question is that?

How am I coping?

How do you think I'm coping?

Seriously, why have you got

every copy of "Harry Potter"?

That's...

I'm not the one that's nuts,

you're the one that's crazy.

Excuse us, sorry.

Would you mind

getting that for me?

- It's all right. It's miles away.

- Thank you.

- Thanks.

- Yeah.

You're welcome.

- And how are you?

- Oh, yeah. Not bad, thanks.

You know how it is.

Back's killing me.

This one weighs a right old ton.

Don't you?

You do, don't you?

And you? How are you?

Oh...

Oh, you know...

I'm not so good, actually.

Not so good.

Yeah, I saw... I saw

something quite f***ed up

a few nights ago,

that I wish I hadn't.

Yeah, it's really

pissed me off, actually.

- Oh, sorry, swearing.

- Mmm.

Close your ears. Don't

repeat anything I just said.

I know, I'm f***ing hilarious.

- God, sorry, I'm terrible.

- Yeah, you are terrible.

Well, my life's terrible.

I haven't shaved

my legs in months.

Look. Well, I'm still

wearing a sports bra

'cause I can't be arsed, so...

Basically given up

on my life, really.

Well, you might as

well Jack it all in.

Yeah, I know.

Now my old hatchet-faced

mom's got cancer, as well.

Oh, yeah, go ahead.

Just laugh away.

I'm sorry. I don't know

why I'm laughing.

No, I don't know

why you're laughing.

- That's not really funny, you know?

- Stop it, you'll make me laugh.

You're making yourself laugh.

It's not helping.

My mom still has cancer.

Your mom don't have cancer.

She does actually. Sorry.

Sorry, we probably shouldn't

have made a joke about that.

Oh, that's all right.

Don't be sorry.

I just don't know

what to say, really.

It's my stop coming up.

Well, I hope your

back gets better.

Yeah, thank you.

Bye, mate.

I hope your mom's all right.

David Desilver, Security, hello?

Give it a chance.

Don't say a word.

That's not cynical. It's

called being realistic.

You don't believe in love?

When you put it like that,

that sounds negative, yes.

No, no, no, I know

what you're saying.

All I'm saying is that so

much of what's called love

is really just people

projecting their own ideas

of what a love object should

look like onto someone else,

and then getting upset

when that person fails

to live up to those expectations,

so then they fall in

love with someone else,

until they disappoint them, too.

Right, so, basically,

it turns out

I didn't know what you were saying.

I don't know why I just

said any of that stuff.

I don't actually think any of

those things. I just said it.

Well, aren't people basically being incapable

of a love that isn't self-interested?

- No, that's good.

- It's to do with expectations.

I don't want you to

expect one thing about me

and then get mad

when I'm not that.

You... do you realize

this is a first date?

- Don't you?

- No need to be facetious.

No, no, no, it's funny, it is.

It's like we're on a date,

and you're basically saying

don't get your hopes up, pal.

- No.

- Yes, it's like I've gone to church.

I need to realize I've sat

next to Satan, it's funny.

Here's the church,

here's the steeple,

open the doors... Ah,

and everyone's f***ed off.

Cause you're a twat.

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