Daria: Is It College Yet? Page #3

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table. I mean, how was I to know that she dumped that guy for the other one?

Quinn, that's terrible!

I know! The first guy was a lot cuter. Hey Sandi!

How are you?

What did you say Sandi?

Whaaat?

Can't talk. Laryngitis. Sandi! You lost your voice!

So once I stopped worrying about what to say and just said it, I thought the

interview went okay, but by then, I'd used up five of my fifteen minutes.

Your interview was only fifteen minutes? I mean...

Ummm, we should probably be get going if we want to make Boston by dinner.

Right. Mom? We should be...

Look, Tom. It's Bill Woods.

You're right. He's a lit professor here; he was also in the lawn tennis team

with my father.

Of course.

Kay! Tom! I don't believe it! Why didn't tell me you were coming to town?

Well, I knew we'd only be here for the day, but... please, Bill, do join us!

Actually, I'm on my way to a meeting. MacArthur winners get so testy if they're

kept waiting. How about lunch tomorrow?

Umm, Mom?

We'd love to, but I'm afraid we have to go to Boston and look at some other schools.

How about a 7:
30 breakfast? You can still make Boston by noon. What

do you say, Tom? You can update me on your interview here. Maybe I can even

throw a little influence your way. Not that you'll need it.

That would be great. Daria had an interview, too.

Then it's a date. I'll see everyone tomorrow in the faculty dining room.

Daria, you don't mind, do you?

Umm. No, it's fine.

Mom, Bill was supposed to meet us at seven-thirty. It's eight.

I promise. If he's not here in another... there he is!

Sorry I'm a little late, but I just couldn't get my publisher off the phone. He

does love to chat.

Well, the worst of rush hour should be over, so with a little luck, we'll be in

Boston by one.

Yeah, that'll be plenty of time.

Oh dear.

Oh my.

"And so, due to her inability to manage Fashion Club meetings and a minor

part-time job, Quinn has been granted permission to take an officially

sanctioned sabtical..." "sabbactical..."

Let me help. "Saaaa..."

"Vacation from her vice-presidential duties."

Ooohhh.

Daria, my sincerest apologies for arriving here so late.

Mom, it's not your fault. It's raining, and there was that pile-up, and then

that really slow truck.

Daria, if you like, maybe we could stay on an extra day.

Um, I don't think the Admissions Office is open on Saturday.

Oh, dear. Well, let's at least drive through the campus and try to get some

sense of it.

Wow, deserted.

Daria, just let me know if you want to pull over.

Good thing we didn't get to Bromwell this late, huh?

Janet, about our... situation, and all. I was thinking... things are moving

awfully fast.

Exactly. None of this long engagement crap. We've got to get cranking before my

eggs dry up!

Janet, we really have to talk.

We'll live at my house. Your house, with all those plants and macram...

See, Janet, that's what I mean. This talk about moving in...

Now, about the honeymoon, I've always had an itch to learn parasailing.

Oh, dear!

Absolutely, Eric! Accidents can happen. Listen, they're bound to have pictures

of seagulls covered in oil; maybe we can have pictures of sailors covered in

guano. Okay, Eric, bye.

Daria, how was your trip?

Let's see. We spent so much time at Bromwell that we only had time for the

drive-by tour of Raft, but I can safely report it has nice smooth roads.

Oh, that's a shame. But, at least you got to see Bromwell. What did you think?

Well, it's pretty obvious you have to be in Who's Who to teach there, the

libraries are big enough to park a jumbo jet in, and what can I say about the

dorm room's high speed computer lines, except that hacking the Pentagon just got

a whole lot easier.

That sounds wonderful!

Yeah. The only drawback is trying to find your classes through the fog of smugness.

Yes, it's a small price to pay for a Bromwell education.

So you don't care either that I never got to see Raft.

What?

Hey, Daria! Guess what came in the mail? The Middleton course catalog! And guess

what? They've eliminated all the requirements, so you can take whatever you want!

You know, Bromwell isn't the only university in the world.

Bromwell? I was talking about Middleton.

Wait a minute! Bromwell's not a military school! Yeah, Bromwell! Great idea, Daria!

Leave me alone.

What's the matter with her?

"Will you accept our gift of a dollar just to answer a few simple questions

about potency?" Yeah!

Hey, Quinn, glad you could make it. These are my friends, Cain and Don.

What's your major?

Um, I don't have a major per se. I'm kind of still in high school.

High school? Lucky... not!

But I'm planning on going to college.

College is absolutely essential. The concerts and parties are so much better.

I know. I heard "Boys R Guys" are coming.

Yeah. Can you believe it? Are they bad enough?

Awful.

Yeah! They're terrible! So, what bands do you guys like?

I can't submit you to BFAC. You suck. You all suck, too. Or maybe it's time for

Janey's sugar break.

Oh, look, this month's mail. Wow, State University and Lawndale State. "We

regret to inform you that..." "Due to an unprecedented number of

applications..." Damn.

Huh?

Both the colleges I applied to rejected me. I knew I shouldn't have taken the

math portion of my SATs.

Oh. Hey, sorry. Wasn't there some other college?

BFAC? They're waiting for my portfolio. Hmm. No point in busting my ass to

finish that.

No kidding. Who are these people to judge you, anyway?

What do you mean?

Hey Janey, if they could create art, they wouldn't be teaching it.

You know, you're actually beginning to make sense. Why waste four years learning

a bunch of useless technique and theory I'll probably just have to unlearn if I

ever want to create my own style?

I've come to a decision. I'm not going to college.

Good plan.

You and I will pursue our muse together, hunker down here in our creative

bunker, periodically issuing forth new works that will invariably rock the art

and music worlds, respectively.

Hmmm. This isn't going to require of me to get up for breakfast, is it?

And when my friend woke up, they had stolen his liver. That's what he said.

Although the way he drinks, it's possible he just left it in a bar somewhere.

I wonder who her designer is?

I know, Alicia's dress is awesome!

You like it?

Sure. That's what you meant, right? You weren't trashing her?

No, of course not.

I didn't think so. You're not the type who has to build herself up by putting

others down. I hate people like that.

Yeah, me too. This mirror is so pretty. Where did you get it?

I made it.

Really? You know how to make glass?

I bought the actual mirror, but I painted the tiles and put the frame together.

I'll make one for you if you like.

Lindy, that's really, really nice, but I can't pay you right away.

Quinn, don't be silly! It's a gift. I make mirrors for all my good friends. I'm

gonna grab another beer, and then you can tell me what colors of tiles you like.

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