Daria: Is It College Yet? Page #4

---

Okay.

Huh? When will Ms. Li stop trying to collect fingerprint samples?

Oh.

The Liquid Dinner?

I hate bad bang fluff days.

Oh, Quinn! I have to talk to you about something just awful!

Hum, Stacy, if this is about how your little toe is all knobbly...

Not that. You know when I made that birthday wish at Governor's Park? Well, I

didn't mean to, but Sandi was talking and it was ruining my concentration, and,

well, I wished she'd just shut up and I blew out the candle and it was too late

to take back the wish and then Sandi came down with laryngitis!

That's terrible! It's like that movie where that lady put that curse on that guy

and he kept losing weight, although I still haven't figured out what was

supposed to be bad about that.

I don't know what to do, and I don't want to tell Sandi, because you know how

her eyes get all narrow and her lip curls and she gets that lizard face.

Stacy, this is easily solved. Just lift the curse.

But how do you do that? I didn't know I was cursing her!

God, Stacy! What do I look like, a whodoo expert? I don't know how to lift a

curse. You're gonna have to find someone who does.

I'm so excited! I just found out I got in the Great Prairie State University!

You did? Me too!

So did I!

Me, too!

Wow! It was really nice of them to take all of us!

Hey, how's it going?

Kevvie! Guess what? Practically the whole cheerleading squad is going to Great

Prairie State University.

That's nice, babe.

Wait, where are you going?

Practice.

Ooh!

Brittany? Didn't you mean where's he going to college?

Hey, yeah!

Brittany, isn't football season over?

Hey, yeah! Kevvie!

Hey, shake the hand of a Vance University man.

You got the scholarship? Oh, Mack! That's great!

You're actually shaking my hand?

Oh, Mack!

Is something the matter?

What could be the matter? Everything's perfect. I got into Crestmore.

Crestmore took you when Turner didn't? That's weird.

I got into Turner, too.

What? But didn't you tell your father that's where you want to go?

I tried, Mack, but he's right. Crestmore is gonna open doors for me that Turner

never could. I think it's a better choice.

No, you don't. Look at you! You're miserable!

I don't want to talk about it anymore, okay? I told you, I want to go to Crestmore.

This college waiting game sucks, although it does provide the unexpected benefit

of taking my mind off of every other aspect of my life.

I know the feeling. Well, I did know the feeling.

Or, at least, kind of knew the feeling.

Wait, you heard from BFAC?

Um, no.

When do you send in your portfolio?

See, the thing is, Daria, after much thought and consideration, I decided not to

bother. I don't need college to be an artist.

You what?

It's not completely my choice. I got rejected by Lawndale State and State University.

Oh, sorry. But, you said yourself their art teachers couldn't even draw Spunky.

Exactly, and if college is about placing your fate in the hands of such

untalented dopes, it just seems like a colossal waste of time. Besides, you know

me, I gotta be footloose.

The phrase you're looking for is screw loose. You can't let two rejections from

places you don't even want to go make you afraid to try again.

You know, Daria, not everyone goes to college. In fact, get past the

Sloane-esque snobbery, and you'll realize there are a lot of really successful

people with mere high school diplomas, or no diplomas at all.

I'm not saying everyone has to go to college. I'm saying old footloose Jane Lane

doesn't know all there is to know yet about art or anything else, and may be

making an ill-advised decision to end her education based on temporary, if

admittedly justified, disappointment.

Daria, you're so predictable. I knew you were going to try to talk me out of this.

Is that why you brought it up?

Look, Dr. Freud, I appreciate your concern and all, but our 45 minutes are up.

See you later.

"Sloane-esque snobbery?"

"Welcome to Raft." Great, one down.

"Thank you for your interest in Bromwell... record number of qualified applicants..."

Waiting list! Well, I guess that's settled.

Daria, is everything all right?

I got into Raft.

You did? Congratulations!

Don't put on your party hat just yet. I've been wait-listed at Bromwell.

Oh. Daria, I'm sorry. Although Bromwell's still not out of the question.

You're right. The entire incoming class could still be stricken with a crippling

disease, moving me up a couple of notches on the waiting list.

Honey, I know you're disappointed, but Raft is a great university, and it's

smaller the Bromwell so you'll probably get more individual attention.

Says the woman who thinks Bromwell is a magic carpet ride to success. Don't

patronize me.

Don't patronize me, Daria. I haven't changed my opinion of Bromwell, but I

haven't changed my opinion of Raft, either. It's a wonderful school.

It's just not the wonderful school.

One Mai Tai.

Anthony?

Timothy, forgive me if my actions are presumptuous, but I cannot stand idly by

when a colleague and friend teeters on the precipice of unimaginable misery.

Oh, really? It's very refreshing. The citrus adds a tang...

I'm talking about your espousal to the she-devil who walks among us!

Umm... huh?

You... Barch... Engaged!

Eep! You sent me the card! But, how did you know?

What'll it be, bub?

I'll have the same, whatever it is.

We're keeping our engagement a secret because of

Ms. Li's rule about faculty fraternization.

Timothy, I cannot be silent! I'm going to help you, help you be strong, help you

stand up for yourself, help you take back the night!

You'd do that for me? Oh, Anthony, I felt so scared, so alone. You're my best

friend in the whole world.

Now, now, Timothy, there's no need for that. You'd do the same for me. Oh, God,

I'm getting dewy-eyed.

Hello?

Hey, Daria.

Hi.

What's the matter?

I can't do a thing with my hair. Oh, and I've been wait-listed at Bromwell.

Wait-listed? Nobody gets in from the wait-list.

Stop being so diplomatic, would you?

God, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to blurt that out. I'm just shocked.

I did get accepted to Raft.

I can't believe it. I was sure you'd get in.

Did I mention that I was accepted at Raft?

Yeah. I mean, that's good.

Try to control your enthusiasm.

Hmm, what about you? You hear anything? You got into Bromwell.

That's sort of why I was calling.

Well, surprise of surprises. A Sloane at Bromwell.

Hey, come on, Daria. It wasn't a sure thing.

Your uncle built them a wing. The only thing that might have kept you out of Bromwell

is a murder conviction, and even then, only if you'd killed the Dean of Students.

Hey, it's not my fault you had a shaky interview.

Yes, well, nothing like dropping a few ancestor anecdotes to convince them of

your qualifications. I got into Raft without any interview at all.

I'm not gonna touch that one.

What are you saying? I got in because they didn't meet me? Screw you!

Quinn, I'm so glad you wanted to see A Kiss Before Heaven. I can't help myself;

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes