Daria: Is It College Yet? Page #6

---

but the one that does care, you decide not to go for?

For the same reason you're not gonna let the Sloanes write a letter that might

get you into Bromwell, even though you wouldn't have to lift a finger. Rejection

sucks. You said so yourself.

I'll make you a deal. If I prostrate myself before the Sloanes and ask them for

that letter, will you finish your portfolio and send it to BFAC?

God, Daria! You must really think I have a shot.

You drive a hard bargain, Morgendorffer, but you've got yourself a deal.

Hello?

Hey. You know that letter we talked about?

Well, I guess it couldn't hurt.

Great.

I'll ask my parents right now. I'm sure they do this kind of things all the time.

Oh, good. Then they can just send out the form letter.

The good form letter. Let me catch them before they go out. Call me later?

Sure. Um, thanks.

Damn.

Yo, Trent! You're just in time to run me down to Package-Air. I want to get my

portfolio off to BFAC.

Whoa. I thought you weren't going to college.

I changed my mind, although first, I kind of have to get them to take me.

What about focusing on your art?

See, I can do that at Boston Fine Arts College. That's why they put in the word

"arts." Come on, let's go.

I don't know. I have to get used to this whole selling out thing first.

Trent, I'm not selling out. I'm attempting to acquire the skills and knowledge

that will allow me to sell out. Now, are you gonna give me a ride, or do I have

to throw fear into the hearts of pedestrians by myself?

Huh. See you later.

Yeah... later.

Hi, Jodie. What are you doing?

Do you need me something? I'll get up.

We just want to talk to you. About Mack.

What about him?

He came to see me at my office.

What? Without telling me? Why?

He's got quite an imagination. He seems to think you want to go to Turner so

much you applied there behind our backs.

"Curse Begone. For the reversal and elimination of curses, spells and

incantations. No animals were harmed to make this product, other than the ones

we sacrificed." Boy, I hope this stuff works, or Sandi will never talk to me

again. Actually, she'll never talk to anyone again. That's not funny, Stacy!

Sandi, I'm so sorry it took me so long, but I wanted to make sure the ice in

your soda was crushed enough because I know how you hate big or even medium

chunks of ice. You know, my Mom says soda rots your teeth, but if it were really

true, wouldn't you see a lot more people in high school with dentures or no

teeth at all, just tiny little stubs?

Stacy. Eww...

Sorry. So, how are the sodas? I mean, not that they shouldn't be okay.

Oh, no! I must have given you the one with the potion.

Oh, Sandi, I am so sorry. See, when I was blowing out my birthday candles, I

accidentally wished you'd be, well, quiet, and then you lost your voice and I

was afraid to tell you so I got this curse undoer stuff over the Internet and I

guess I used too much because I really wanted you to be cured, and then Tiffany

got it by mistake and I am so sorry!

No, Sandi, I swear! I didn't try to kill you! See, it's only Cayenne pepper,

cooking oil, and some big long name. Sandi, you know I would never hurt anybody,

especially not you. I mean, I really, really care about people. Please, I'll do

anything to make it up to you! Just tell me what to do.

Now, here is my kind of credit card bill. No Cashman's, no Doo Dads, just a

single two-hundred dollar charge to Bulk Cat Food dot com. Cat food? This isn't

our address... this isn't my name! Damn idiot mailman!

Jake, settle down! Hmmm, from Bromwell. Daria, look what just came in.

Either that's a rejection, or they printed the registration forms on microfilm.

Now, don't jump to any conclusions.

Well, the freshman class is full. I won't be going to Bromwell.

Oh, honey.

That sucks, Daria! Passing on a smart kid like you! They're idiots!

You know what? I'm not even sorry.

You have nothing to be sorry about.

Stuffy arrogant... "Oh, look at us, we're Bromwell!" But listen, Middleton is a

very good school. Well, a pretty good school. Well, anyway it was good enough

for your mother and me.

Jake...

Um, Dad... about Middleton... I didn't apply there.

You didn't? So... you're going ahead with this crazy notion about military school?

Military school?

Jake! What are you talking about? Daria is going to Raft.

Raft? You mean, no barracks? No buzzcut? No inspection time? Latrine duty?

Training marches at 0600 hours?

Hmmm, if Raft has those things, it was pretty crafty of the brochure just to

show kids on the quad hanging out and throwing frisbees.

Oh, thank God! My daughter, going to college instead of a military academy. Hey,

Raft is a damned good school. Daria, you won't be sorry you did this. There'll

always be time for the army later!

You'll understand when I don't invite my roommate home for Thanksgiving, right?

How long is the wait for two?

Table twenty-one is ready.

I'll seat you right now.

I'm sorry. Is there a problem here?

That hostess seated those people who just came in,

and we've been waiting forty minutes.

My apologies. Let me see what I can do, and dessert's on me.

Folks, we've been holding a table for six we can split up. Please, come with me

and I'll get you settled right away. Then the three of us are gonna have a

little talk.

What's that about?

Oh, Quinn, I'd never thought he'd find it there.

Find what?

My screwdriver.

Lindy! You've been drinking?!

Just a little hair of the dog. I wouldn't have done it except I'm really hung over.

But we're at work!

I know. Damn, damn, damn! Quinn, listen to me. Normally, I would never, ever ask

you to do something like this, but I'm in college, I'm broke, I really need this

job. Maybe if we said we think one of the bus boys left it there or something?

But then, won't they get in trouble?

Ladies, Shawna's gonna man your post for a while. Come with me.

Okay, I want to know whose cup this is. Quinn?

Umm, it's not mine.

We don't know whose it is.

Then explain to me why this smudge here matches your lipstick.

That could be anybody's lipstick!

Not really.

For instance, Quinn asked me if she could try my lipstick... not that I'm saying

it's hers, of course...

Oh, Lindy...

Come on, Lindy.

Please, Michael, I've never done anything like this before, I swear. I don't

even like to drink. It's just I have this migraine...

I'm gonna have to let you go.

Damn! You know what I've just realized?

The phrase "chicken fingers" is misleading ?

Besides that. We forgot to check out the pizza in Newtown.

Oh. Well, I guess you'll just have to send mine Package-Air to Boston.

Won't that be a little messy? Oh, Daria! No!

Yep. It's official. I didn't get into Bromwell.

I'm really sorry. And after my parents wrote such a glowing recommendation, too.

Shocking, isn't it? I'm such a loser, even a nod from the Sloanes couldn't help me.

That's not what I meant.

Good. Because I'm not a loser, and even if I didn't go to the right prep school,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes