Dark Cove Page #2

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So what happened to them?

There was a huge dispute over

the land being a provincial park

so one day like ten years ago the

authorities came and kicked them all off.

Like they lived here. Like they were

pretty much houses these shacks.

That's pretty harsh.

Yeah, it was a big deal. It was on the

cover of the paper for like a week.

Holy sh*t.

That's it.

My God.

I told you, babe.

Alright. Let's do this.

So Jen, you probably don't

want to talk about it

but I'm glad you came even though

you and Doug just broke up.

It's all good. I needed to get

out and have some fun.

Breakups are the worst. How

long did you guys date again?

Just over two years.

Why did you guys breakup?

I don't know. It was just

time I guess.

I'm finishing school and he's gonna

go traveling for six months.

It was along time coming anyway.

Yeah, dating in your twenties

can be tough.

Everybody's figuring

there lives out

school, traveling, serving,

f***in' temp jobs.

Nobody has their sh*t

together.

It's weird because one minute I'll be

loving life and so happy that I'm free

and the next minute I'm listening

to "You'll Think of Me"

and crying all night long.

I love Keith Urban.

"You'll Think of Me" is good.

I'd probably put it in the

top ten best breakup

songs of all time.

What's number one?

"Somebody That I Used

to Know" is up there.

That's up there for sure but the number

one best breakup song of all time

is obviously "You Outta Know"

by Alanis. Boom!

Alanis? I don't

know about that man.

Dude, are you f***ing

kidding me bro?

Did you listen to those

lyrics? In a top ten hit.

Housewives are listening

to this sh*t.

"Would she go down on you

in a theater?"

"Are you thinking of me when

you f*** her?"

That sh*t is cold blooded son!

And it has a pretty

sick bass line.

I've jammed on it before.

See, Joey Deezio

knows what's up.

That bass line is funky as f***!

That's Flea

playing bass on that track.

Number one best breakup

song of all time

"You Outta Know" hands down.

Actually yeah, I could see

that. It is a classic.

Honestly Jen, we

all really like Doug

but you could do so much better.

Thank you.

Cheers to Jen.

It's just weird. I haven't

been single in so long.

Like the other day, some

guy asked me for my number

who I wasn't even interested

in and I gave it to him anyway.

I don't know why. I think he made me

feel like I was back in the game.

Last week I was picking up

this chick and my phone died.

So she busted out a pen and

paper old school style.

Which was awesome.

Anyways, she writes down

her number and her first name

and her last name which makes

sense for Facebook.

And normally that amount of

information would suffice.

Right? But no, no. Here's the

thing.

After that she writes down her

email address which is all good

but then she writes down the

name of the restaurant

she works at. And then on top of that

she adds her f***ing home address.

What? She writes down the place

that works and her home address?

Yeah.

So, she's like come on over

and I will f*** you.

Let's go!

That's pretty much

your fantasy.

Right?

She must be pretty

desperado.

I did kind of meet her

at a strip club.

God! Always classy

Joey, always classy.

Let's play some "World Cup"

before dinner.

I'm in. Viva Italia!

You suck!

Goal for Canada!

Goala! Goala!

Here I'm open!

Italy for the game winner!

That girl just molested my

ankle with her foot.

I think it might be broken.

Joey get your ass up man. We

know your an Italian

but that doesn't mean you get

to dive like one.

Yellow card for diving!

Joey should have gotten

mulitple yellow cards

for grabbing me and Jen's

asses throughout the game.

Joey's faking. Game on!

It's not exactly Wembley Stadium

but it'll do.

Hey man, do you want to play?

We could do a little three on

three if you want.

I would mate but I've been on

the piss for three days straight

I'd probably fall over if I try

to run about.

On the piss?

Yeah, it means he's been

hammered for three days.

Thanks for that. I've always

wanted a translater.

It's very difficult, this

language barrier.

Are you camping here?

Yeah, with a couple Aussie

f***ers I'm friends with.

There they are. They're all

into surfing and that.

Look at those sorry

bastards Paddling around

in a freezing cold ocean

for a five second ride.

I'm Donnie by the way.

What's up man, I'm Quinn.

This is my girlfriend, Lacey.

Hi.

Those crazy Aussies will

actually be lighting off

a bunch of fireworks at our

campsite later on.

You're all welcome to pop by

for a cheeky beverage or two.

Yeah, that might be cool.

We'll try to roll down.

Alright, I'll catch you later

then.

Cheers!

Alright, see you later.

That guy seems pretty chill.

Like a classic Brit.

I think he's f***ing wasted.

The fireworks might be alright.

Yeah, that'll be sweet when

we're on mushrooms.

Babe, are we actually doing

mushrooms tonight?

Yeah babe, of course. It's going

to be fun. It's gonna awesome.

So, do I get my penalty

shot or what?

I have to show you this waterfall

before it gets dark. It's a must see.

Okay. It sounds

pretty cool.

So, big question.

How is Lacey liking the

trip so far?

I'm having a great time.

It's nice to hang out with

Ian.

We've never really spent

that much time together.

It's good to get to

know your best friend.

Although, he does talk about your

cock a bit too much for my liking.

Yeah, it's a little

disconcerting.

I'm not gonna lie.

I don't get to see him too much

anymore since he moved to Vancouver

but me, Joey, Jen and him have all

been best friends since we were ten.

I'm definitely starting to feel

more like one of the group

I know, it's awesome.

Look babe. There it is.

Look at that!

That's amazing!

I can't believe stuff

like that exists here in BC.

It's like National Geographic

style.

Full out. It looks like the

entrance to the bat cave.

So, what I'm thinking is that

I should take some pics of you

in front of the waterfall on

my phone.

Perfect!

You're looking so hot right

now babe.

Nice, work it.

F*** babe, you are

workin' it. Nice.

I'm not going to lie, I'm

getting a little hard right now.

But I really have to put my shirt

back on because it's f***ing cold.

No, no, no. You don't

need to do that.

I'll come warm you up.

Hey guys!

Joey!

What the f*** is going

on here?

Nothing. We're just admiring the

wonders of nature. As you can see.

Sure there buddy. I'd stick around

a rub one out but dinner's ready

you f***ing pervs.

We're coming.

Well, I wont be.

Joey, that was a tasty steak.

What did you do to get it

that flavor?

That's a Deezio family

recipe.

That sh*t's been around

for ages.

Passed down to me from

my "Zio".

I marinated those bad boys in a

secret concoction of herbs and spices

for two whole days.

That was amazing. You'll have to come

over sometime and cook me dinner.

I'll be there.

And you can give me

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