Darling Page #5

Billie, if I didn't know you were a man,

I'd be very shocked.

Diana, darling,

I want you to meet Billie Castiglione.

He's one of the best sculptresses in Paris.

He's dying to do your bust.

I'm going to kill that man, I am.

You've got a beautiful head.

Wonderful bones.

- Truly.

- Thank you.

It's very hot in here.

She's got an interesting head.

Un peu de home movies.

Music, please.

- This is going to be fun.

- What is it?

It's kind of a truth game, sort of.

- Come. You play with me.

- No, I don't know how to do it.

You mustn't be shy.

Everybody's doing it. Come with me.

When the music stops, the cradle will rock.

That's the truth game!

Why, Diana Scott, how you've changed.

Why, darling, it's only because

I've had a little too much sun ray.

I don't understand.

Is he pretending to be me?

You're home and dry.

I don't understand francais.

How many times?

Relax. Don't be frightened, it's fun.

Will you come on a cruise with me to...

Only if I have the top berth.

What would you do

to be in my next film, Diana?

I don't know the name for it,

but I'll definitely do it.

- Why is he doing this?

- It's fun.

Miles. My dear fellow,

I'd know you anywhere.

Tell me, do you love Diana?

No.

- Is she good in bed, Miles?

- I haven't noticed.

I am.

Bravo.

Does she love you?

Like a prisoner loves a jailer...

'cause I carry a big bunch of keys.

Oh, shut up!

Miles, my love, have you ever been in love?

Yes, for as long as I can remember.

With myself.

Tell me, Miles...

if you could be anything in the world,

what would you most want to be?

A pimp in a royal whorehouse.

Will Mr. And Mrs. Harper

please contact the General Enquiry desk?

- There you are.

- Thank you.

- Is this all your luggage?

- Yes, it is.

- Have you read this before?

- Yes.

- Have you anything to declare?

- Only her lunch.

I have a personal call from Paris

for Monsieur Robert Gold...

Western-7655.

I just couldn't help myself.

I mean, all I wanted to do, really,

was not hurt Robert, you know?

That was the main thing.

I kept thinking to myself, you know,

Miles would sort of burn itself out...

and that meanwhile all that mattered

was trying to make sure nobody got hurt.

That was the main thing.

Taxi!

- Good luck with Robert.

- Goodbye.

- Is he really a crook?

- Most certainly is.

He's just served five years. I've done

an interview with him for Sunday's program.

It's already in the can.

And Number 24, Man's Head in a Bucket.

The strongest echoes of Grunvald.

He's got a fantastically lean

and hungry look.

- Is it true he's so tremendous in bed?

- I'm afraid I didn't get around to asking him.

- Alex, darling.

- Diana, sweetie.

- How terribly to see you.

- Terribly to see you.

I say, isn't this awfully!

Come and meet Ralphie

before he disappears.

For another five years.

In the great tradition of silent screams...

Goya, Gogol, Guernica, that tradition.

Roughly what I said in the interview

I did for the program on Sunday.

- Tremendous fire.

- I'm with you. Tremendous fire.

And a furious lyricism one so seldom finds

in white chaps these days.

Quite so, yes.

A cobbler's all that is,

one man responsible...

Ralphie, dear, I've got someone here

who's dying to meet you.

- Ralphie Riggs, you must meet Diana Scott.

- How do you do?

I do so admire your work.

I think it's wonderful.

Thank you very much, I'm sure.

Come and meet the agents. Steps.

You got here. I'm so glad.

- Blasted artists.

- Don't say that, he's tremendously talented.

When did you get in?

This afternoon. I'm exhausted.

- This afternoon?

- Yes.

- Naturally, of course.

- Yes, naturally, of course.

Look at him. Don't you think

he's tremendously talented?

- And the job? How did that go?

- Tremendous fire.

- What job?

- The job you went to Paris to see about.

I had to do a test for Raoul Maxim.

He's a tremendous talent, Raoul.

There's no one in England

to beat these French directors.

Tremendous fire.

- Yes, I think so. Tremendous.

- And you went down well?

Like a dozen oysters, I think.

- Taxi!

- We're not taking a taxi.

- Why not?

- I don't take whores in taxis.

What do you mean?

That's what you are, isn't it?

A little whore, isn't it?

You've been back from Paris

two days already.

If you don't want me knowing

what you're doing...

don't leave your ticket and passport

lying all over the place.

I knew you'd get the wrong end of the stick...

Your idea of fidelity is not having

more than one man in bed at the same time.

You're a whore, baby, that's all.

Just a whore.

And I don't take whores in taxis.

Now what?

- A pound's not enough.

- What do you mean?

- Wait a minute...

- Don't you give me, "Wait a minute."

A pound's not enough!

- Don't be a...

- Don't you lean on me.

It was kinky before, and it's kinky now.

And a pound's not enough.

Makes a lot of promises.

Typical, when he's had his way.

You're not worth

more than a bloody quid, anyway.

I'm an honest working girl.

5 in the Walworth Road,

that's about your bloody mark!

You crumb!

You greasy crumb!

5 in the Walworth Road?

- What were you doing in Paris?

- Working.

- Hope you got more than 5.

- I should think I did. I wasn't with you.

- Fine. Help yourself.

- Quelle largesse. I'm impressed.

You b*tch. You filthy little b*tch.

Enjoy yourself.

You've got no right to call me anything.

- I have every right to call you everything.

- Have you? We're not married!

At least, not to each other.

I can't believe anyone as trivial

and shallow as you can cause so much pain.

Blameless Gold.

If you really want to know,

I've stuck it out as long as I can.

- And just about as often as you can.

- You're so faithful and loving, aren't you?

Look at this place, this rattrap.

I'm not going to be a prisoner any longer.

- So you're the prisoner, are you?

- Yes!

Prying in my life,

looking in my handbag, spying on me!

Quickest way of getting to know you.

You never intended to stay here!

You've done nothing with this place!

Look at it!

- Books. My God, how I hate books!

- Stop that.

That gets to you, doesn't it?

Anybody touching your books!

They matter to you more than anybody.

What the hell are you doing?

- Don't be so melodramatic.

- Excuse me.

You're not going.

It just all seemed so unnecessary,

these dramas.

I couldn't help feeling Robert had been

desperately unreasonable about it all.

After all,

we were supposed to be adult people.

One just had to take a grip on oneself,

that was all.

I just knew the only possible hope...

was just to fling oneself

absolutely madly into one's work.

It was either that, or the old gas oven.

One, two. Happy.

Better. The happiest girl in the world, now.

That's it. Good.

I want a happy girl. Better. Brighter.

Laugh. Good.

Swing your hair around suddenly.

That's it. Good. Lovely. Again.

Good. That's it, darling. Done.

Think lovely thoughts. Brighter. Come on.

Forget it, we've all been through it.

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