Date Night Page #5

Then they start waving the guns around,

and they're talking about a flash drive.

-Honey, why are you grabbing my knee?

-Because l just remembered

that we are supposed to meet our friends,

who are a gay couple.

The ones we met while night boating?

Oh, my God!

The bald and the crazy gay couple date.. .

Sh*t my pants,

we forgot our gay couple dinner.

-Oh, God!

-Can l say something here?

Mmm-hmm.

-Hello! Up here.

-PHlL:
Yeah.

-You two seem like a really nice couple.

-Thank you.

Joe Miletto is not a nice man.

Okay, take it from me.

He is genuinely a really mean, scary guy.

Okay?

So if you're somehow blinking on his radar,

we need to talk about

how we can help you.

No, no, no. You don't understand.

We took somebody's reservations.

lt was a terrible, terrible thing to do.

So we need to leave

and ponder what we've done.

-Honey, let's go.

-Stop!

Sit down!

Okay, you two can't be this weird.

What is going on?

-Arroyo?

-Yeah.

-Give me a second?

-Okay.

Look, l'll be right back.

You two stay put, okay?

Get your story together.

Go, go, go, go!

Oh, my God! Now the bad guys

are dressed up like cops.

That's because the bad guys are cops.

Why are there cops involved?

What is going on, Phil?

-What are we going to do?

-Honey, honey,

-it's okay. Just breathe.

-They are gonna kill us

-and put our bodies in trash bags.

-No. lt's gonna be all right. Just breathe.

CLAlRE:
They're gonna find us

where Giuliani put the homeless people.

-Just breathe. Are you breathing?

-Only in.

Honey, focus. Focus. Focus.

Are you focusing?

Okay. Okay.

-Your eyes look crazy.

-l know, because l'm losing it.

What are we gonna do? l'm losing it!

What are we gonna do?

What are we gonna do?

What are we gonna do?

We gotta get out of here.

We gotta go home.

-We can't go home.

-What are you talking about, Phil?

l am going home. l'm going home!

Claire, they have our lDs.

They know where we live.

They know where we live.

-Oh, my God. The kids.

-Oh, my God.

(PHONE RlNGlNG)

-Hello?

-Hai-ya! Hai-ya!

Hello?

AUTOMATED VOlCE:

Do you accept a collect phone call from...

CLAlRE:
Oh, my God!

This phone smells like urine!

Yes, l.. . l accept.

-Katy?

-Fosters, what up?

Katy, are the kids okay?

-ls everything okay?

-KATY:
Yeah.

Okay, listen to me. l'm gonna need you

to stay a little late tonight.

-That is gonna be a problem for me.

-What?

l actually have a party to get to.

No. Why would you be going to a party?

You're babysitting.

Yeah, l mean, you guys are the Fosters.

You're always home by 9:30.

Yeah, well, tonight, it just so happens

that we're gonna be staying out

a little bit later.

Nice. But l already promised my friends.

-Could you talk to her?

-Okay. Okay.

-Katy? Hi, it's Phil.

-Hi.

Where's that frigging guy

when you need him?

Katy, l don't have time to talk right now.

l'll pay you double to stay.

That's really nice of you,

but l don't think that's gonna close it.

Are you kidding me?

-What? What is she saying?

-She's saying.. .

What is that little b*tch saying?

Her jeans are too tight!

You see, the thing is, my dad's been saying

l should jack your rate for a while now.

So, l could miss the party,

but, l think, rate-wise,

we're talking somewhere north of 30.

l see them.

-Pay it!

-Okay, fine. Fine. Katy, that's fine.

Just get the kids out of the house

right now.

Don't go out the front door.

Go out the back door.

Take them over to your house.

Okay, now l'm sensing

some kind of element of danger here.

No. No.

'Cause that's gonna run you

an extra five per.

Fine! Fine! Just get the kids out right now!

Tell them we love them

and everything is gonna be okay!

Everything's okay! Tell them we love them.

-Bye.

-Okay.

Sucker. Kids!

-Now what?

-They're safe. They're safe.

We need to find someplace

with a lot of people. A lot of people.

Hi, hi. Excuse me.

Don't worry, we're not going to hurt you.

Our names are Claire and Phil Foster.

We are from New Jersey,

and through a series of strange events,

we have been confused with someone else.

And now, some unruly criminals,

who are also policemen.. .

-Right.

-.. .are hunting us as prey.

Again, we're not the bad guys, they are.

We're not going to hurt you.

Honey, stop saying that,

'cause it makes it sound

-like we are gonna hurt them.

-No, no. They get it.

We need a place to hole up and hide,

and we don't have any money

because these criminals, these dirty cops.. .

Hey, hey.

Do l look like l was born yesterday?

Okay, this is the oldest scam in the book.

Beat it, junkies.

-MAN:
They make me sick.

-So dirty.

Let's go.

We are on our own.

This whole night was a mistake.

We never should've come in to this city.

This was a crazy idea.

lt wasn't a crazy idea.

lt was just dinner in Manhattan.

One night, one date where we're just not

talking about the kids the entire time

-or what we have to do next week.

-And look where it got us.

We should call 91 1 .

Honey, this is Joe Miletto

we're talking about.

-So?

-So? Those cops that tried to kill us?

They're in his pocket.

This guy owns cops!

We can't trust any cops.

What are we gonna do? We can't go home,

we can't go to the police.. .

Okay, okay, okay.

Miletto, he wants the Tripplehorns, why?

Because they have the flash drive.

All right,

what if they gave him the flash drive back?

Why would they do that?

Because we're gonna find them,

and we're gonna make them do it.

Once Miletto has the flash drive,

this thing ends.

Okay. l like that. l am completely with you.

l just have to ask you one question,

and do not judge me.

What is a flash drive?

-Seriously?

-Phil, l can't.. .

Okay, it's a little storage disk

that you stick in the side of a laptop.

Oh, it's a computer sticky thing? That's.. .

ln my office we call it

a computer sticky thing.

Okay. Okay. We need to get

the computer sticky thing to save our lives.

How? We don't know anything

about the Tripplehorns.

That's not entirely true.

We know where

they were going to have dinner tonight.

-Okay.

-Come on. Come on.

Hi, we were.. . Hello? Up here.

We were in here earlier,

having dinner with our friend Sam-l-Am.

-You mean Will.i .am?

-Okay.

ls that what you call him?

That's weird. l don't like that.

-Yeah, it is weird.

-No, listen, anyway,

we were here, and Will.i .am thinks

he left his phone at the table,

so we need to check at the table.

l'd like to check the table for the phone,

if you don't mind.

Do you understand what l'm saying?

Look at me. Can you.. . Oh, God.

-We need to check the table for the phone.

-What's your problem?

-Hello? Hello? Anything?

-Oh, my God.

-Here we go.

-How are you not getting this?

-He needs to check the table for the phone.

-Fine. This way.

-Wow. l just wasted half my life.

-(SlGHS )

Tripplehorn. Tripplehorn.

Tripplehorn. Tripplehorn. Okay.

PHlL:
.. .and he left it there.

He said he left it on the table.

Well, that was just a big, fat waste of time.

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