Dead Like Me: Life After Death Page #3

if that's what she chooses.

First names may be taboo

in her place of business,

and if that's the case,

you just talked yourself out of a job.

Go ahead.

What do you think is your greatest

accomplishment in life so far, Mr. Harding?

I'm 26.

By the age of 26, Tiger Woods

had already won the Grand Slam.

At 26, Henry Ford

had invented the Model T.

By the time he was 26,

Alexander the Great...

Had become a homo.

- Ryan.

If she insists on

comparing me to successful people,

- of course I'm gonna fall short.

- Oh, get over it.

May I, Millie?

What do we do here?

We're a temp agency.

Mmm-hmm.

Millie?

We're an agency that gets people jobs

that are temporary.

We are a corporate dating service.

And if we want to find the right match,

we have to understand

the sine qua non of that person.

We have to find out

what makes someone special.

We have to ask questions

that catch people off guard,

that really pull their masks off.

Like, "What's your most

treasured possession?"

My cat.

How about, "What's the best

birthday gift you ever got?"

My cat. People, these

don't catch people off guard.

We need a question like, uh...

Questions like,

"What's the one thing you

want to do before you die?"

Now that's a great question.

Carry on. Doing great.

Answer the question, Ryan.

- Do you want me to answer honestly?

- Of course.

That's easy. He wants to get laid.

- Amy!

- No, she's right.

Okay,

you know, let's start over,

and feel free to lie this time.

There were a lot of things

I wanted to do before I died.

I don't know what they were

because I never asked

myself that question.

What the f***?

Whoever H. Hart is,

I hope he or she asked the question,

because their clock is about to stop.

High-risk factors.

Hey, stop. Stop.

So many possibilities, so little time.

The driver didn't

even stop to see if he was okay.

Hang tough, Jenny.

Hudson will be all right.

Hudson's got heart.

Hudson's got heart.

What's that you're saying?

It's one of our cheers.

I mean, all the football

players have one.

I mean, except Gustav Guducek,

because, well,

nothing rhymes with that.

And, I mean,

Hudson's is easy, right?

I mean, there's part

and dart, and all that stuff.

And then, well, we decided

how sweet and easy

if we just used his name?

Hudson's got heart.

Get it?

That's Hudson Hart?

Yeah.

Excuse me.

I told you to look

like a million bucks.

- Well, I never got your message.

- Okay, obviously.

- Oh, Georgia, I have the best news.

- Not me.

Cameron seriously

screwed up on my reap time.

Oh, dear, that's too bad.

But enough about you.

I'm returning to the theater.

Returning?

I thought you only did movies.

- What's the difference?

- A live audience?

Oh, silly George, Cameron

introduced me to Ronald Gluckster.

Who?

The producer. And he loves me.

And I'm understudying Lady Macbeth.

- I start rehearsals demain.

- Did you have to blow him?

No. In fact, he said

I have a certain je ne sais quoi.

- Do you know what that means?

- That you're gonna have to blow him.

Daisy, Cameron seriously

screwed up my reap.

Oh, that's too bad for you.

But you should have a drink. It's a party.

I've had five glasses of Cristal.

I could get used to this.

- Where's Mason?

- Mmm.

In heaven.

Oh, there's the mayor.

Georgie Porgie pudding and...

...Pie? I don't know.

Look what Cameron

bought me for my birthday.

- It's not your birthday.

- Georgie, shut up.

- I don't want to offend my presents.

- There's plenty of time for that later.

This is Tiffany.

Hi.

And this is Tiffany.

Hi.

How f***ing funny is that?

All you're missing

is the little blue box.

Oh, do you know what lives

inside little blue boxes?

Seriously, do you? Do you?

- No, please tell me.

- Necrophiliacs.

Cameron screwed up my reap.

And little tiny Eskimos

who live in little ice blocks,

and they get eaten by lions,

and they're really sad.

- Are you listening to me?

- Mmm-hmm.

There is a soul trapped in

agony out there right now.

Oh, no!

Oh, I don't care.

It's happened before, innit?

Not like this.

Not when Rube was in charge.

F*** Rube. F*** Rube.

It's not my bloody problem.

Seriously, I don't care.

Where's Roxy?

You know

what is my problem, though?

I really need some Viagra in, like,

an IV thing that goes in your arm.

Yeah. I love you.

- You don't look so hot.

- I got boned with bad reap info.

That sh*t don't float in my bowl.

- What did Cameron say?

- I haven't found him yet.

Follow me.

Cameron! George needs some answers.

Ah, Roxy. Just who I was looking for.

Have you said hello to

Police Commissioner Cusek?

Commissioner, it's

an honor and a privilege.

Pleasure's all mine, Officer.

I was just telling the Commissioner

here that there aren't enough

African-American ranking

officers in the police force.

Now, maybe it's time

for a promotion, hmm?

I don't want any affirmative

action quota bullshit.

Well, then,

how about a drink?

Love to.

See you later.

Ah, so glad you could make it.

I was getting worried about you.

You should be worried.

You gave me the wrong reap time.

Easy, princess.

What happened?

The Treo said 5:
52.

I was there early, but H. Hart

had already been hit by the car

and taken away to the hospital.

So he was in the ambulance at 5:52.

- Long gone.

- Then he was DOA.

But I didn't even touch him.

Not even close.

Then I suggest

you go to the hospital

and make sure your boy is dead.

Take care of business, princess,

and go reap his soul.

Dr. Orton to OR one, post op.

Dr. Orton to OR one, post op.

- Yes, may I help you?

- I'm looking for Hudson.

Oh, I'm sorry, miss.

His parents can't

even see him right now.

You'll have to wait

with everyone else.

No, I just need to see his body.

To say goodbye?

Don't

rush him to heaven, honey.

He's still hanging in there.

He is?

Must have been

touched by an angel.

The waiting area

is around the corner.

- This way.

- Thanks.

This can't be happening.

I just spoke to him this morning.

I can't believe

we're here now.

I don't want Hudson to die.

Doctor, is my father gonna be okay?

I hope so.

Good. Here's a picture

to put on your fridge.

Thank you.

There's the ship,

there's the plane,

and there's a fast, fast bike.

Are you planning your getaway?

I like to go very fast.

Oh.

Tara, sweetheart, it's time to go.

Give a kid a crayon

and she'll draw you a picture

of how she's getting

the hell out of Dodge.

Every kid seems to be

planning her escape.

You want a picture of a house,

you have to ask for it.

It's done.

Wow!

- George, you have talent.

- I know. It's me there.

Well, where you heading, sweetheart?

- On a secret voyage.

- Who are those people?

A secret.

Fine, then. It's you and Mom.

You're drifting out to sea.

I'm not sure why I'm

taking this personally,

but why are Reggie

and I drifting out to sea?

You were kicked off the boat.

Why can't I be on the boat?

Georgia, what do you have to say?

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