Deadpool 2 Page #7
If we can get to him
before that happens...
promise you'll give me a chance
to put him on a different path.
Define "chance."
I don't know.
How long does it take
to save someone's soul?
That's not...
I'll give you 30 seconds.
- What? No!
- Best I can do.
Take it or leave it.
He's doing it!
Look at the little fella.
He's doing it.
There he goes.
Jesus Christ!
Just shirt-cocking it.
Ugh.
There you go, little fella.
Go on, you're doing it!
My beautiful, hairless,
Twizzler-legged baby boy.
Christ!
That's disturbing.
30 seconds.
- Deal.
- Deal.
I have no idea what's happening.
Probably for the best.
And that is why
you never eat a raw starfish.
It's just common sense.
Where the hell are we going?
You said it yourself.
Nothing can stop the Juggernaut.
We need backup.
I will bathe in the blood
of your enemies.
Can you turn off the music?
You'll do no such thing.
Why don't you just say it
in an Indian accent?
What the hell are you...?
Once again, intolerance rears
its ugly head.
I am so sorry. It gets better.
I'm not a f***ing racist, moron!
Tell that to Black Tom.
He was like a brother to me.
I'm with the old white guy
on this one.
And that's a twist.
So what exactly do you
do in the future, anyway, huh?
Some kind of soldier?
Yeah, something like that.
I was a soldier. Special Forces.
I bet 50 years from now,
we're bestest buddies.
50 years from now,
you're very dead.
Your entire generation f***ed
this planet into a coma.
Boom!
Spoiler alert.
Planets.
Next time, Uber.
Here's a spoiler alert.
You're not a f***ing hero.
You're just an annoying clown
dressed up as a sex toy.
Well, I got news for you.
My heart is in the right place.
Russell's not gonna kill anyone.
Because of me, he's gonna know
what real love looks like.
Because of you, I'll always know
what a grown man
I'm a grower, not a shower.
I should've finished college.
Right here!
I made mistakes!
I wanna take them back!
You trusted me.
I took that trust...
and turned it into a glory hole
in an airport bathroom.
The one in Minneapolis.
You know the one.
Colossus!
I wouldn't ask for your help
unless it was life or death!
That kid needs our help!
I know you're listening!
He's teamed up
with the Juggernaut!
The Juggernaut!
That's like my favorite
Marvel character ever,
but you should never
meet your heroes...
because, honestly,
he's a bit of a dick!
And like a lot of d*cks,
he's as hard as a rock...
and causes nothing but problems!
- Hi, Wade!
- Hi, Yukio!
Please don't.
You guys make
a super cute couple.
Yeah. Where was I? Oh, yeah!
Colossus! Look, I don't deserve
your friendship or your help.
But this kid does.
And I'm not gonna bail on him
like everyone else.
Oh, come on!
is available?
That's just fine! That's fine!
No! You know what?
Doing the right thing
is sometimes messy...
and f***ed up, and not
particularly convenient!
So stay here
in Chateau de Virgin...
while we go get our f*** on!
You're doing great.
So you wear that helmet because
your brother
tries to read your mind?
Yeah, but he's in
a wheelchair, so even-steven.
Someone's coming.
It's Russell, sir.
He's not alone.
Secure the children.
What do you say
we go f*** some sh*t up?
"Let's f*** some sh*t up"
Watch my back.
I've got the old man.
Amen, brother.
Time to make the chimichangas.
30 seconds.
I finally know why I'm here.
I was raised in this place.
Well, not raised.
I was tortured.
Wow! It's your cosmic reason
for being here.
- Shall we?
- This is gonna be fun.
Yeah!
Hey! Been meaning to ask you...
what's with the creepy,
dirty hobo bear?
It's not dirt. It's the blood
of my dead daughter.
I have a gluten sensitivity.
So one glass of wine, I just...
Yeah.
Wish we could head back in time,
and I could take all that back.
We should just cue the music.
Welcome home, Russell.
We missed you.
Russell!
You don't need to do this!
Let's talk!
Why are you dressed
like the Unabomber?
That's why!
Told you this little f***er's
too far gone.
Zip it, Thanos! We have
a deal and you f***...
Hey!
My body and my hands
are so soft.
You should probably
head back to the car.
I think I'll head
back to the car.
It works best
when you pull the trigger.
That gun is amazing!
Say it!
You are an abomination!
Now, I'm gonna shove
the red guy up the old guy.
I believe him!
Every man for themselves!
Gotcha!
Beat it, midget!
Hey, big guy,
the sun's getting real low!
Oh, sh*t f***!
Come here, beautiful.
Say it!
You came for me.
I'm not giving up on you,
and you are not
giving up on that boy.
Who says that rules
aren't meant to be broken?
It's time to fight dirty.
Time to sweep the leg, Johnny.
Hey! Pick on someone
your own size!
That's such a you thing to say!
Go get him, tiger!
He's doing great.
Say it!
- Russell.
- Bingo!
That's right!
I'm fighting dirty!
Oh, great!
There they are! Those freaks!
A bunch of armed
pedophiles in nursing shoes.
Can I have one of those guns?
- No.
- That's fine.
Get off this property,
mutant scum!
I'm just gonna use this brick.
Maximum effort.
Who says you can't
go home again?
Oh!
Yeah!
Say it.
Say what you said
every time you tortured me!
Say it!
Blessed are the wicked
who are healed by my hand!
Blessed are the wicked...
who are healed...
by my hand.
You commie motherf***er!
Oh, my God.
Did you feel that, too?
Only best buddies
execute pedophiles together.
You got 30 seconds,
you jabbering butt plug!
Now we're getting it.
I need a bus
to get you all out of here.
Orphans.
Oh, geez.
It's time to burn
for what you've done!
A child should not be burdened
with such power!
Russell! Wait!
Oh!
Wait! He hasn't killed
anyone yet!
- What more do you need to see?
- Don't you f***ing dare!
He's just a kid!
Tick, tock. Meter's running!
I'm gonna melt you down
and make a cock ring.
- I told you! Leave me alone!
- Come on!
Listen to me!
That's how we do it
in Mother Russia.
They say millennials are
the hardest to reach.
Oh, no. You're doing amazing.
Damn, it feels good
to be a gangsta!
Go home, Wade!
You're ruining everything!
I'm getting good at this sh*t.
Go, go, go!
He dies tonight, Wade.
You can't stop me!
He even runs
like a f***ing pervert.
Like an online predator
who lost his laptop.
There's one bullet left
in that gun.
Wait, wait, wait! Please,
just give me a second!
I got this.
- Russell!
- Stay back! Go home, Wade!
Let's talk. It doesn't
have to go this way!
That piece of sh*t...
he deserves to die
for what he did to you.
He hurt you badly.
Makes you wanna hurt others.
But if you kill him, he wins.
You become everything
he says you are, but worse.
You're just a kid.
You don't wanna hurt anyone.
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"Deadpool 2" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 22 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/deadpool_2_6539>.
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