Dear White People Page #6

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SAM (CONT’D)

Since when do TA’s give critiques?

GABE:

You invoke Minstrelsy for shock

value, but to what end?

SAM:

To invoke the same feeling I get

when I turn on the TV and see some

so-called reality star shuck and

jive for ratings egged on by no

doubt white producers. Or the sassy

Black secretary with no backstory

or character development aside from

their skin color.

GABE:

So it’s a tit for tat? *

EXT. GOODMAN MEDIA SCHOOL 2 - DAY *

SAM *

You’re honestly saying that art *

can’t be reactionary? *

GABE *

You’re reacting to a work made *

almost a hundred years ago. *

SAM *

Yes because fear of Black men being *

involved in the United States *

Government is a completely *

antiquated concept. No social *

relevance whatsoever today. *

GABE *

Frankly I just think sometimes its *

better to hold a mirror up to your *

audience than to drop an *

ideological piano over their head. *

30.

SAM:

Frankly I just think works thatdeal with the African Diasporathrough a post-modern lens areoutright rejected unless they’re

handled by a white artist.

*

*

*

*

*

*

GABE:

African Diaspora? Really?

*

*

26 INT. DAVIS HOUSE - DAY 26

The war rages as the two continue up a fleet of stairs.

SAM:

Blackface is alive and well in our

culture. Who primarily buys hiphop? Watches Housewives of Atlanta?

The same homogenized images ofBlack people over and over again?

White people Gabe.

GABE:

Who goes to see Tyler Perry movies?

SAM:

We’re an underfed community. None

of this changes the fact that thevibrancy, the complexity of Black

culture has been distilled into

commodities and marketing schemesto be bought and sold-GABE

--to the detriment of the so called

“real thing.” Got it.

And into a room...

INT. GABE’S ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Gabe slams the door.

SAM:

I am indistinguishable from the socalled “urban” images used to amuse

and market to white America.

GABE:

And the commodification of culture

is uniquely oppressive to Blackpeople?

31.

Sam nods fervently as Gabe grabs and unbuttons her jeans.

GABE (CONT’D)

So when Kanye raps about Louis V

and Rolexes and Classical Art,

exactly what exploited pocket of

Black America are those references

being mined from?

Sam can’t get her shirt off fast enough.

SAM:

On your knees.

Gabe kneels below frame as Sam closes her eyes in ecstacy.

CUT TO BLACK.

27A INT. GABE’S ROOM - EVENING 27A

Sam’s eyes pop open - a startled scream escapes her lips.

She’s surprised at first to see Gabe beside her in bed, the

outside spoon. They’re both naked. Her pompadour frayed.

GABE:

What? You dream in “Cosby” again?

SAM:

My hair was so straight. My sweater

so big. I told you about that?

Sam’s phone buzzes. Gabe grabs it and sees Reggie’s photo pop

up. He swallows his envy and hands it to Sam. She doesn’t

answer. Silence as it hits her voicemail.

GABE:

Hey so...this whole “Head of House”

thing. Congrats?

SAM:

Yeah, it's…it's.

GABE:

Weird, right? Never took you as a

student politician...

Reggie’s photo again - New Voicemail. A regret in Sam’s eyes.

SAM:

Yeah, well...

Sam rolls out of bed. Gabe thinks twice before he asks it.

32.

GABE:

Sam? What are we doing?

She badly wants to give him the answer he wants. Instead...

SAM:

F***ing.

28

INT. STUDIO BOOTH - DAY 28

Reggie stares at Sam with stars in his eyes as she

effortlessly addresses the campus in between bits of jazz.

SAM (V.O.)

Dear White People. Please stop

touching my hair.

29 INT. GARMIN CLUB HOUSE - DAY 29

Lionel at an ancient oak dining room table listens to the

broadcast over his laptop. Makes studious notations...

SAM (V.O.)

Does this look like a petting zoo

to you?

Lionel gets an IM: “George: Hey handsome, how’s the story?”

To which Lionel writes: “Going great sexy.” Lionel deletes

“sexy” and replaces it with “:)” before hitting send.

29A BAR DIVIDE 29A

Across from Lionel is Kurt flanked by his eager but self

conscious right hand GORDON - and MITCH, swagged out varsity

crew captain and connoisseur of all things Black culture.

They wear “PASTICHE” gear, hunch over a glowing iPad and

scroll through a series of student group photos in the

Yearbook. Kurt stares off into space, turns up the GANGSTA

RAP playing from a nearby blue tooth speaker.

Kurt pours shots of Jack which Gordon eyes with caution.

GORDON:

Kurt it’s three.

MITCH:

Y.O.L.O. my nigga!

Everyone takes the shot.

33.

GORDON:

We don’t even have our new staff

yet. Why are we planning this?

KURT:

Everyone wants to be on our staff

that’s the easy part.

MITCH:

We’re going to make staff bids on

Game Night, and the RSVP’s are

through the roof for that.

KURT:

Yeah but Halloween is our premiere

party. The waitlist is already a

hundred deep and it’s going to take

a lot to outdo this summer.

MITCH:

Cinco de Mayo was epic.

INSERT:

A black and white photo of Kurt and crew dressed in Sombreros

and Mexican stereotypes at a wild pool party. The title

reads... PASTICHE PRESENTS “WETBACK”

GORDON:

How about the Young Republicans?

KURT:

Too close to the Tea-Party.

INSERT:

Photo of Kurt and crew dressed as famous female political

conservatives - brandishing rally signs with misspellings and

cups of tea. The title reads... “PASTICHE’S TEA PARTY”

MITCH:

Yo we need an East vs West hip hop

party. Get the honeys in here.

GORDON:

“The honeys?” You’re from Vermont.

KURT:

Guys what’s the Pastiche motto?

GORDON:

“Sharpen thy sword.”

34.

MITCH:

Our motto is a euphemism for

masturbation?

GORDON:

It’s a reminder that satire is the

weapon of reason. So who on campus

is being unreasonable?

MITCH:

Sounds like a reminder of how gay

you are.

GORDON:

Was that even a reasonable attempt

at a quip Mitch?

MITCH:

Hey Gordon, say reasonable again.

SAM (O.S.)

Dear White People, knowing Lil’

Wayne lyrics no longer earns you an

Honorary Black Card. It just

reminds me how often you say the

word “nigga” when no one Black is

around as is required in reciting

said lyrics.

Kurt turns up his music and shoots Lionel a look, who plugs

headphones into his computer and looks down.

KURT:

The hell does Sam think she is?

MITCH:

Like Spike Lee and Oprah had a

pissed off baby.

Kurt shares a glance with Mitch and Gordon - they’re leaning

towards the same idea.

KURT:

Could we?

GORDON:

How?

Kurt turns his heat towards Lionel - has a bone to pick.

KURT:

Hey Lionel. Talked to the Dean

today.

(MORE)

35.

KURT (CONT'D)

We had a very enlightening

conversation. I just want to say...

I’m sorry about the voice message.

29B DINING ROOM 29B

Kurt and his crew cross over to Lionel’s table. Kurt unzips

his pants silently.

KURT (CONT’D)

Do you accept?

Lionel removes the headphones and turns to Kurt, just as he

starts flopping his dick around off screen. Lionel quickly

looks in the other direction. Kurt’s friends crack up.

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