Death Do Us Part Page #2

F***!

I'm taking the bottom bunk,

because there's no way

I'm sleeping up there.

Okay, that's fine.

I hope Chet doesn't act

like an a**hole all weekend.

Yeah.

He was hotter

in his profile picture.

What, were you creeping online?

Mm, kind of.

Can't wait to spend

more time with you.

Yeah. Yeah, totally.

I mean, 'cause Kennedy and I

are like sisters, right,

so it's kind of like...

like we're like sisters too.

Yeah.

- Yeah, sure.

- Okay.

Sure. Why not?

That's good.

Cool.

Okay.

- I'm going to go get changed.

- Yeah.

Me too.

Mm.

Hey, what the hell are you doing?

Just having a smoke.

Hey, so that girl of yours

is pretty loaded, huh?

Kind of, yeah.

Cool.

Look, why don't you just

come inside, man, all right?

Be good for you to hang out

with some normal people

for a change.

"Normal people"?

F***, man.

Look at you acting

all put together and sh*t.

You don't fool me, Ryan.

Mrs. Kennedy Harris.

Mrs. Kennedy Harris.

Mrs. Kennedy Harris.

Oh, wow. Hi.

You look beautiful.

Thank you.

Can you believe I'm getting

married in a week?

Yeah. You've been obsessed

with getting married

since you were a kid, so...

yeah.

It's going to be the most

important day of my life.

Really? Not like...

when you graduated college

or got the job at the firm?

- You know.

- Yeah, they were great,

but this, this is life-changing.

Yeah.

You know, it just... I don't know.

It just seems like a lot of work

for one day.

And Dad's spending a fortune on it.

Never would have spent

that much on me.

Yes, he would have, Hannah.

No.

No, he wouldn't.

We both know you were his favorite,

and I was the leftover satellite

from the first marriage.

Daddy's little princess.

Ow. Hannah, ow.

You guys okay?

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

I was just helping her

with her dress.

I'll...

leave the two of you alone.

Isn't it bad luck to see the bride

in her dress before the wedding?

That's just a stupid superstition.

Is it?

Yeah, it is.

Oh.

I'm going to go for a run.

What was that all about?

She just thinks Dad's spending

too much money on the wedding.

He is, and you deserve it.

Do you think she's right?

Do you think it is bad luck

for you to see me in this dress?

If you're worried about it,

I am more than happy

to help you take it off.

Ryan, stop.

You're going to ruin the dress.

- Ryan, seriously.

- Kennedy.

- Stop.

- F***, relax, all right?

You need to take it easy.

You don't want to lose it,

end up in the hospital again.

That is never going to happen.

Look, I am distressed

because there is so much to do,

and we left

right in the middle of it.

Okay, you need

to take a break, all right?

You've been obsessed. You should

get to enjoy the wedding.

Ryan, it's not just that, okay?

There are dead birds everywhere,

and the caretaker is a total creep.

I don't know. This whole place

is just freaking me out

a little bit.

So wait. You want to go home?

I don't know. Maybe.

We drove all the way out here.

Why don't you just

have a shower, all right,

get changed, and come hang out?

Come on. It's one night.

What's the worst that can happen?

- Okay.

- That's my girl.

I'm going to go take a look around.

Wow. Look at you, Mr. Lumberjack.

What can I say?

I can handle my wood.

Well, no one else will.

Hey, where you going?

Didn't get my run in today.

Nice outfit.

Sort of preferred

the little lacy one better.

Where is everyone?

I don't know.

Ryan said he was going for a walk.

Oh. I'm just going

to go find him, then.

Want some company?

It's not too safe

to walk out in the woods

all by yourself, you know?

No, I'm good.

I'll be right here if you need me.

A**hole, you scared

the sh*t out of me.

You should have

seen the look on your face.

You're usually the one

screaming like a girl.

Yeah, well,

only when you do it right.

Oh, it is going to...

suck when we can't do that anymore.

What do you mean?

I'm about to marry your sister.

That's never stopped you before.

Yeah, I know, but it's real now,

so we got to stop.

You don't get to dump me.

Dump you?

We were never dating.

Seriously, I'm the one

who gets to say when it's over.

Unless of course you want me

to tell Kennedy.

Keep your f***ing mouth shut.

You understand me?

You know I like it rough.

We'll just talk about this

after the wedding, okay?

Yeah.

Hannah.

Hannah.

Hannah!

Oh, sh*t.

Ry, can you get me a towel?

Ry, hurry! I got soap in my eyes!

Thanks, babe.

Ry?

Problem with the flowers.

Sh*t.

Oh, sh*t.

I am in control. I am in control.

I...

am in control.

Now the real fun begins.

Okay,

this place is kind of a dump.

Okay.

Hey, f***-head.

What are you doing?

Nothing, just putting away my sh*t.

What sh*t?

I got lots of sh*t.

Don't worry about it.

You're full of sh*t,

is that what you're saying?

Got a f***ing problem?

- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey.

- Yeah, what are you...

Take it easy, all right?

Chet.

Yeah, no. We were just...

we were just messing around,

weren't we?

Yeah, that's right.

I was just f***ing with you.

All right.

Let's grab a drink

or something, relax.

Okay, Ry, let's get

some drinks in you, buddy.

- Come on.

- Yes, let's do it.

Let's get this party started.

Hey, man, you coming or what?

I'll be right out.

F***ing idiot.

I'm like, "That's not brown, buddy.

You want to see brown, I'll..."

You know what I mean?

Yeah, totally. I know that bit.

Good run?

Yeah, was very invigorating.

Yeah?

Hey, Em, where were you?

I went for a walk.

Yeah, I thought

I'd check the place out.

You see anything interesting?

Dude, what the f***'s up

with your cousin?

Oh, he's all right.

You just got to get to know him.

I think he's a creep.

But then so are most men.

See? I'm not the only one who thinks

he's a total f***ing whack job.

He's not that bad.

He just... I don't know...

runs with the wrong crowd.

Right.

Good guy to be stuck

out in the woods with.

Nice. Nice, Ry.

Hey, Chet, can you...

- Yep, yep. Yep.

- ...open this?

So, Ryan, how was your walk?

- Good. It was...

- Hey, Em,

you want to help me

take this stuff outside?

Sure.

Yeah, probably colder out there.

- Yeah, that's good.

- It's old.

F*** me,

she's still got a great ass.

Yeah, I guess.

I'm so going to tap that

this weekend.

- Good luck with that.

- Thanks.

You know, Kennedy's

a really great person.

Yeah, so I hear.

I'm just saying somebody

would have to be a real c*nt

to want to hurt her, you know.

Wow. Em, that's a...

that's a big word

for such a little girl.

You got everything

for the scavenger hunt?

- Yeah.

- Good.

Well, why don't you

be a good bestie

and hide everything

while I get changed?

Fine.

And, Em.

Yeah?

If you don't want to ruin

Kennedy's perfect wedding,

you'll shut your mouth.

Hey.

I'm going to get changed.

Like your pants.

You know what?

I think this is the weekend

I finally...

finally get her back.

She doesn't want a one-night stand

with a booze-clown like you,

all right?

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