Death Proof Page #4

dark, and deep...

"And I have promises to keep,

And miles to go

before I sleep. "

Did you hear me, Butterfly?

"Miles to go

before you sleep. "

Sorry, Stuntman Burt...

Mike.

Mike.

She already broke off that dance.

Is that true?

Did I miss my chance?

Do I frighten you?

Is it my scar?

It's your car.

Ah, yeah, I know.

Sorry.

It's my mom's car.

Have you been following us?

No, but that's

what I love about Austin...

it's just so damn small.

- You've seen this guy before?

- I saw him outside of Guero's.

And I saw you outside Guero's, too.

You saw my car,

I saw your legs.

Now, look, I ain't stalking y'all,

but I didn't say I wasn't a wolf.

So you really weren't following us?

I'm not following you, Butterfly.

I just... got lucky.

So, how about that lap dance?

Sorry, it was a one-time only offer,

and she did it

earlier this evening at Antone's.

- No, she didn't.

- How do you know?

I'm good that way.

- Tsk. And you look a little touchd.

- What's "touchd"?

Wounded, slightly.

Why should I be wounded?

Because you expected guys

to be pestering you all night,

but from your look I can tell

nobody pestered you at all.

That kind of hurt your feelings

a little bit, didn't it?

There are few things as fetching

as a bruised ego on a beautiful angel.

So...

How about that lap dance?

I think I'm going

to have to give you a rain check.

Well, since you'll be leaving

in the next couple of days,

that rain check'll be worthless.

But that's okay.

I understand

if I make you uncomfortable.

You 're still a nice girl.

And I still like you.

But I must warn you of something.

You know how people say,

"You 're okay in my book,"

or, "In my book, that's no good. "

Well, I actually have a book.

And everybody

I ever meet goes in this book.

And now I've met you,

and you 're goin' in the book.

Except...

I'm afraid I must file you...

under...

"Chicken Sh*t. "

And what if I did it?

Well, I definitely couldn't

file you under "Chicken Sh*t,"

then, now, could I?

What's your name again?

- Stuntman Mike.

- Well, Stuntman Mike...

I'm Butterfly.

My friend Jungle Julia over here says

that jukebox inside is pretty impressive.

Yeah, it is.

Yeah.

Well, why don't you go

get ready for your lap dance?

What about "kind of cute,

kind of hot, kind of sexy,

"hysterically funny

but not funny-looking guy

who you could f***"

did you not understand?

I'm driving.

We're gonna go somewhere else,

gonna go hang out.

Ready to go?

Yeah.

- Bye.

Bye.

I think you got Mike laid tonight.

Lookin' good, Cannonball Run!

He's just giving me a ride.

Oh, no doubt.

Have a nice ride!

Look, double fucks.

I am not gonna f*** him.

I can hear you.

- He's old enough to be my dad.

- I can still hear you.

Bye.

Bye-bye!

Wow, that's f***ing scary.

Yeah, well, I wanted it

to be impressive and...

scary tends to impress.

Is it safe?

No, it's better than safe.

It's death-proof.

How do you make a car death-proof?

Well, that's what stuntmen do.

You've seen a movie where

a car gets into some smash-up

there ain't no way in hell

anybody's walking away from?

Yeah.

Well, how do you

think they accomplish that?

CGI?

Well, unfortunately, Pam, nowadays

more often than not, you 're right.

Tsk. But back

in the all-or-nothin' days...

Vanishing Point days,

the Dirty Mary Crazy Larry days,

the White Line Fever days...

real cars smashing into real cars.

Real dumb people driving 'em.

So, give the stunt team

the car you want to smash up,

they take her and reinforce

that f***er everywhere and...

Voila!

You got yourself

a death-proof automobile.

That makes sense. I just didn't know

you could make a car death-proof.

Well, I can drive this baby into

a brick wall doing 125 miles an hour.

Just for the experience.

Why is your passenger seat in a box?

Well, this is a movie car.

Sometimes when you 're shootin' a crash,

director wants to put a camera in the car...

you know, shoot the crash

from the inside.

That's where you put the camera.

They call it a "crash box. "

There you go.

You know, when you

asked to drive me home,

you didn't mention your car

didn't have a passenger seat.

Yeah, well, actually,

I didn't ask to drive you home.

You asked me for a ride,

and I said, "Yes. "

But look at the bright side, Pam...

I won't be gettin' fresh,

putting my hand on your knee.

That is a bright side.

I thought so.

Well, Pam...

which way are you going?

- Left or right?

- Right.

Ah, that's too bad.

Why?

Well, because it was a 50/50 shot

on whether you'd be going left or right.

You see, we're both going left.

You could have just

as easily been going left, too,

and if that was the case,

it would have been a while

before you started getting scared.

But since

you 're going the other way,

I'm afraid...

you 're gonna

have to start getting scared...

immediately.

What the f***?!

Cocksucking motherf***er!

Just f***ing let me out of here!

I'll f***ing rip your f***ing...

Stop the f***ing car!

Why are you being such a sh*t?

Okay.

Here's the thing.

I get it.

I... I know it's a joke,

and super funny.

Um, but if you just stop right now,

you know, and... and let me out,

I'll never tell anybody

because I know it's a joke.

I know all about jokes.

Ha ha ha!

I promise everything'll be fine.

Just... just... just let me out.

Please?

- And... and... and...

- Hey, Pam!

Remember when I said

this car was death proof?

Well, that wasn't a lie.

This car is 100% death proof.

Only to get the benefit of it, honey...

you really need to be sittin' in my seat.

Now I gotta catch me

my other girlfriends.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

It's Dave Dee, Dozy,

Beaky, Mick and Tich.

So, you got it?

Thanks, honey.

You 're gonna play it next song, right?

Good boy.

Growl!

Bye-bye.

Who do you want to hear?

Dave Dee, Dozy,

Beaky, Mick, and Tich.

Who?

Dave Dee, Dozy,

Beaky, Mick, and Tich.

Who the f*** are they?

For your information,

Pete Townshend, at one point,

almost quit The Who,

and if he had,

he would have ended up in this group,

thus making it Dave Dee, Dozy,

Beaky, Mick, Tich, and Pete.

And if you ask me,

he should have.

That's my boy!

I want to hear

this part of the song louder!

Do you remember anything?

Uh... I... I don't remember.

Doctor Block.

Self-restraints to Room 310.

Well. What's the patient's

prognosis, Dr. Block?

I don't really see

it's any of your business.

Come on now, Sis.

You just tell us.

How bad is he?

He got banged up real good.

Busted nose, broken collarbone,

smashed up his left index finger.

Is that it?

He was real lucky.

That'll be all?

Well, that's more than enough,

and I wanna thank you, Dr. Block.

Son of a b*tch.

So, Pop.

What do you think?

Well, Son Number One,

what I think is so goddamn ghoulish

I hesitate to speak it out loud.

Well, give it a shot.

Well, what we have here

is a case of vehicular homicide.

That ol' boy in there

murdered them pretty little gals.

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