Death Proof Page #5

I mean, he used a car, not a hatchet,

but they're dead just the same.

Well, what are you gonna do?

Not a goddamn thing.

D.A. says there ain't no crime here.

Every one of them gals was swimming

in alcohol and floatin' on weed,

and old Hooper in there

came out clean as a whistle.

Now, you actually think that he

premeditatively murdered them gals?

Well, I can't prove it.

But since thinkin' don't cost nothin',

I can think it, and I do.

Yeah, but Pop, he got

pretty banged up himself.

Well, hell yeah,

he got banged up, but goddamn...

I mean, them pretty little gals in there

look like a goddamn giant

chewed 'em up and spit 'em out.

Did any of 'em survive?

Sh*t.

Two tons of metal,

flesh and bone

and plain old Newton...

they all princess died.

Why?

Well, I'd guesstimate

it's a sex thing.

The only way I can figure it.

High-velocity impact,

twisted metal, busted glass,

all four souls taken

exactly the same time.

Probably the only way that diabolical

degenerate can shoot his goo.

Yeah, I think the only thing

we can dream of getting that bastard on

is vehicular manslaughter

for the hitchhiker in the death box.

That was just plain old,

goddamn reckless endangerment.

But I got me a goddamn bartender

gonna testify that ol' Stuntman

Mike didn't drink a drop all night.

And his passenger

was left stranded by her date,

in the goddamn rain, no less,

and she asked him for the f***ing ride.

Now, on paper, this is gonna look

like he was just trying to help her out.

I mean, that's the way

the jury's gonna see it.

So, what are you gonna do, Pop?

Tsk.

Well, I could take it

upon myself to work the case,

Search for evidence,

you know, prove my theory.

Alert authorities.

Dog that rotten son of a b*tch...

wherever he goes, I go.

Or I could spend the same

goddamn amount of time and energy

following the NASCAR circuit.

Hmm. I've thought about it a lot.

I think I'd have a hell

of a lot happier life if I did the latter.

And just because I can't

punish Old Frankenstein

in there for what he's done,

I'm gonna tell you

like the Lord told John...

if he ever does it again,

I can make goddamn sure

he don't do it in Texas.

Are you on the same floor as him?

No, he's on the fourth.

- And who's in whose room?

- He's in mine.

And so what happened then?

We made out for about ten minutes,

and then I sent him off to his room.

- So how's the Rock as a kisser?

- Mm, he's damn good.

He's got them mushy lips,

smooth fingertips.

Mm, I love them mushy lips.

He's a big guy, so he spins me around

so my back is up against him,

takes his big hand

and puts it on my throat,

tilts my head back and leans over me,

kisses me from behind.

Damn, that sounds sexy!

It was sexy.

But then that was it?

You sent him off? How'd he take it?

Wait a minute, what are we doing here?

If I'm gonna power through and pick up

Zo at the airport, I need coffee.

Since you 're getting that, can you get

some more vodka and sugar-free Red Bull?

We didn't know you were awake.

I'm not awake. I'm asleep.

But get some more vodka

and some sugar-free Red Bull anyway.

And some Red Apple Tans.

Damn, I didn't stop

to get you b*tches groceries.

- You remember how to get to the airport?

Uh-huh.

Then you should get behind the wheel,

'cause you gonna drive.

Motherfuckers.

They ain't got sugar-free Red Bull.

They got regular Red Bull

and sugar-free G.O. juice.

G.O.

G.O.!

Where the hell are my keys?

Here they are.

Sorry, I didn't mean to give

you a concert there.

No, it wasn't you.

That guy bumped into my feet

when he walked by.

I don't know why,

but that kind of creeped me out.

Little dick.

Clearly.

Since I'm up,

I might as well hit the ATM.

Get me a f***in' smoke.

What?

Did you just see the...

What?

Nothing, honey.

Y'ello.

It's me.

Miss me?

You best get your ass

off Kim's car.

- I've seen Kim sit on it before.

- Her ass ain't your ass.

Okay. So, I think I'm in

this month's issue of Allure.

You got Allure?

Magazines by the window.

Here you are!

You hot mama, you.

See you in a second.

$3.85... out of 20.

And you get 16 and change back.

Thank you very much.

You know, I got other fashion magazines

for sale behind the counter.

No, that's okay.

This'll be all.

Thought I'd ask.

- Thanks anyway.

- Have a good one.

I got this month's issue

of Italian Vogue.

This month's?

Listen to this.

The Circle A clerk has

this month's issue of Italian Vogue.

- No way.

- Way!

I can't believe f***in' Circle A

carries Italian Vogue.

It doesn't. It's his own personal copy.

He'll let it go for 27 bucks.

What the f*** do you care?

We're talking about per diem here.

We found an issue of Italian Vogue

in Lebanon, Tennessee.

We're lucky he's not asking

for f***in' Krugerrands.

I'm getting it, and we're

splitting it three ways.

What, me, you, and Kim?

Kim doesn't give

a sh*t about Italian Vogue.

but Brandy'll come in with us,

and if she won't, Tisla, her sister, will.

Okay, but if anybody tears out

any sheets I want,

you gotta make color Xeroxes

of those pages, and I'm not talking Kinko's.

You take it to the art department

and have them do it f***in' right.

Whoo!

Oh, my God!

Got it!

...the actress...

Oh, boy.

Your timing couldn't be better, Zo.

It just so happens we're all three

off-duty for the next three days.

F***in' hell! How does that happen?

I'm doing Lindsay Lohan's makeup,

and she's off for the next three days.

There's no stunts being filmed

during that time so Kim's free,

and Lee's on a will-notify

for the four days.

So how's the shoot going?

Great. We're having the best time.

The director, Cecil Evans, is so fun.

We're making the coolest movie

and partying all the time.

Hell, yeah. The next job

after this one is definitely gonna suck.

So let's hear it, ladies.

Set romances! Who's getting it off?

That would be Lee and Toolbox.

Oh, Toolbox!

Name sounds promising.

- He's a grip.

- What he is is a pervert.

Well, he just keeps sounding

better and better.

What's his perversion?

He likes to watch me pee.

Ooh!

Yeah, but not no more.

Now she's getting it on

with the Rock.

You had a one-off with the Rock?

Well, not the real Rock.

He's this electrician named Bruce.

He looks like the Rock,

so we all just call him the Rock.

Oh, yeah, this is an all-star crew.

We got a guy who looks like Nic Cage

and Pee Wee Herman, too.

Kim, dick department.

Let's hear it!

Mm-mmm, no dick this trip.

I got a man.

- How long have you had this boyfriend?

- About three months.

Who'd you steal him from?

Nobody!

Kim!

- Wha... what?

He totally had a girlfriend.

All of Kim's boyfriends start out

as somebody else's boyfriend.

I did not steal him!

I didn't steal any of them;

they just... jumped ship.

- So what's your story, Abernathy?

- Oh, Abbie's got the big Kahuna.

I had a set crush on Cecil.

Set crush? Nigga, please.

You were his set wife!

"Were" and "had" being

Rate this script:3.4 / 5 votes