Death to Smoochy Page #16

Sheldon joins in.

SHELDON/NORA

'In life we all have

Our Last Nappy Time.'

Sheldon looks at her. They embrace as BAGPIPE MUSICSWELLS.

OMITTED:

EXT. TIMES SQUARE - NIGHT

The news zipper in Times Square glides through the nightair: "MANHUNT UNDERWAY FOR RAINBOW RANDOLPH... SUSPECTED

IN BOXER'S MURDER... SEEN OUTSIDE BUILDING SHORTLY BEFORE

SHOOTING, DRENCHED IN GASOLINE AND ACTING PECULIAR..."

We CRANE DOWN FROM the zipper ONTO the sidewalk.

Randolph is talking on a pay phone. We hear Angelo onthe other end.

RANDOLPH:

I didn't do it! I know you'restill mad at me, but you gottabelieve me.

(CONTINUED)

92.

CONTINUED:

ANGELO (V.O.)

The papers say you were themastermind.

RANDOLPH:

Mastermind? I can barely figureout how to unzip my pants thesedays. Just taking a piss is alogistical nightmare.

ANGELO (V.O.)

I believe you, Randy. But youcan't come back to my place.

They'll find you. You gotta gounderground.

EXT. LIBERTY FLOUR AND BISCUIT FACTORY - NIGHT

We are outside the long-abandoned Liberty Biscuit andFlour factory. The Liberty sign with its Statue ofLiberty logo is eroded and partially missing.

INT. LIBERTY BISCUIT AND FLOUR FACTORY - CONTINUOUS

ACTION:

Inside the massive dormant factory, rats scurry aroundand pigeons occasionally fly from window sill to windowsill. A makeshift living area has been set up in themiddle of it all -- a chair, lamp, small table, hotplate, etc. Randolph lays on the dilapidated conveyorbelt, huddled under a blanket.

Angelo enters the factory through a rusty door, carryingprovisions.

ANGELO:

It's heatin' up out there. Everycop in New York is looking for

you. And Tommy Cotter's boys arecombin' the streets. You're gonnahave to stay put for a while.

Randolph sits up on the conveyor belt, blanket drapedover his shoulders. He's a physical and emotional wreck.

RANDOLPH:

I was an altar boy once. Did youknow that? I wanted to be a

priest. Do you believe in angels,

Angie?

(CONTINUED)

93.

CONTINUED:

ANGELO:

Angels?

RANDOLPH:

There was a little angel inpigtails. She was the only onewho cared about me. She saved mylife.

Angelo hops up on the conveyor belt to console Randolph.

Randolph rests his head on Angelo's shoulder.

ANGELO:

You didn't want to kill yourself,

Randy. You know that.

RANDOLPH:

Perhaps it's time to heal. To

accept the fact that Smoochy haswon and gracefully march forward.

True, I'm currently wanted for amurder I didn't commit. But I

have faith. Faith that justicewill prevail.

ANGELO:

Now you're talkin', kid. This is

a big step... I'm proud of you.

He strokes Randolph's head.

RANDOLPH:

Did you bring lunch?

ANGELO:

Yes.

RANDOLPH:

Chicken and stars?

ANGELO:

Just like you asked for.

RANDOLPH:

Can I have some, please?

ANGELO:

For a smile.

Randolph sniffs and manages a small pitiful smile.

Angelo musses his hair.

ANGELO:

Atta boy.

(CONTINUED)

94.

CONTINUED:

Angelo lifts one of the grocery bags onto the conveyorbelt.

ANGELO:

Here, I got you some crosswordpuzzles and stuff to read.

Angelo hops off the conveyor belt and turns on the hotplate. He starts to open a can of soup. Randolphreaches into the bag and pulls out a copy of the New YorkPost. The lead article's headline reads, "WAKE FOR

SPINNER." A large photograph shows mourners leaving therestaurant after the wake. Clearly visible are Sheldonand Nora. They have their arms around each other.

Randolph's eyes widen. He starts to hyperventilate.

Angelo looks up.

ANGELO:

You okay? Randy?

Finally, Randolph expels a blood-curdling scream thatECHOES through the factory.

RANDOLPH:

Motherf***er!!!!!!!

Angelo drops the soup. Birds in the factory flutter fromthe rafters.

INT. MADISON SQUARE GARDEN - ICE RINK

Sheldon and the Rhinettes work on some choreography forthat night's show. Nora watches from the sidelines. As

Sheldon skates on the ice rink, Merv enters with Roy and

Danny.

too.

Sheldon skates over to them. Nora walks over,

TOMMY:

Big news, Shel.

What's that?

SHELDON:

TOMMY:

It wasn't Smiley who killedSpinner. It was Parade of Hope.

NORA:

Merv Green?

SHELDON:

Are you sure? The cops have tonsof evidence on Randolph.

(CONTINUED)

95.

CONTINUED:

TOMMY:

We did our own investigation.

Cousin Ian from down at the

morgue... you met him at thewake...

FLASHBACK - INT. SPINNER DUNN'S - DAY

Tommy is at the bar listening intently to a man, IAN,

who is pointing to certain details on a photograph.

IAN:

See the neck? Snapped like atwig. Animals... Parade of Hope'scalling card. When they do a guy,

they like to sign the tab.

TOMMY:

What's that guy's name over there?

Green?

LEON:

Yeah, Merv Green.

TOMMY:

This was one time they shouldaleft the tab blank.

INT. ICE RINK (PRESENT)

NORA:

I knew Merv Green was a scumbagfrom the day he grabbed my ass ata 'Feed the Children' benefit.

SHELDON:

Well, God help those guys now.

They're gonna get a first-classride through the criminal justicesystem, and I'm buying thetickets.

TOMMY:

It's all taken care of, Shel.

SHELDON:

What does that mean?

96.

FLASHBACK - INT. WAREHOUSE - NIGHT

A bloodied Merv Green is tied to a chair in the middle

of the warehouse as he begs Tommy for his life. Merv's

two henchmen lay dead nearby. Roy, Jimmy and Sammy -Tommy's

guys -- stand behind her.

MERV:

It was a mistake! An honest

mistake! All I'm trying to do ishelp children.

TOMMY:

You like kids, huh?

MERV:

Yes! Of course!

TOMMY:

So you must know a few fairytales. Danny, tell him the oneabout the worthless prick who getshis head chopped off.

Danny, holding a hatchet, advances toward Merv. Tommycasually walks away. We STAY WITH Tommy. Merv is NO

LONGER IN FRAME.

MERV (O.S.)

No... no... no!

He SCREAMS.

We hear the sound of the HATCHET HITTING its target.

Merv's pleading stops.

TOMMY:

Now you know why charities gounder sometimes.

INT. ICE RINK (PRESENT)

SHELDON:

Do we really need to hear this?

I don't want to hear this.

JIMMY:

A clean cut.

SHELDON:

Okay, got it.

(CONTINUED)

97.

CONTINUED:

ROY:

And then we took his head and -

SHELDON:

Thank you! Specifics about hishead are superfluous at thispoint.

INT. STOKES' OFFICE - EVENING

Nora is alone in Stokes' office, rearranging cards onthe giant cork board that displays the network schedule.

She is startled to hear a deep voice behind her.

VOICE (O.S.)

Where is he?

She turns around. Chick, Tobi, and Sambo are standingthere. Chick walks over to the cork board. He scans a

row of cards that all read "Smoochy."

NORA:

(attitude)

Can I help you with something?

CHICK:

Yeah, honey, you can help uswith something...

He rips a Smoochy index card from the board, walks overto her and waves it in her face.

CHICK:

You tell that boss of yours hebetter take care of the rhino

problem. In my culture we honordeals or invite consequences.

NORA:

I don't know what you're talkingabout and your cologne's making

me nauseous. Other than that,

you're great company.

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