Deathgasm Page #4

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- What?

- Oh f***.

Why would you do that?

It's not working.

These are a bit sh*t.

- Hold them off.

- What?

- Yes.

Brodie!

- No!

No!

No!

No! No! Ah. No!

Ah! No!

- I'm going to eat your soul.

- F***ing die!

- No!

No! Stop!

Please. No!

No.

No.

- What... the f***?

- Pretty sure he

wasn't possessed.

- What? Oh no.

Of course he was.

Because when he

came in he said,

ah, something about Satan.

You didn't hear him

say that?

F***!

Hey, the pages

are blowing away.

You have to help me...

Oh sick, man.

- What? They were like

that when I found them.

- Come on.

We have to get the music.

- All right, look,

I'm going to help you do this

but only because

you suck at it.

Also it's kind of fun

stabbing sh*t.

But we need to get

better weapons.

Yeah?

Brutal.

- Brutal as f***.

- You're pretty good

at whacking guys off, bro.

- Did you see that?

I'm gonna go check it out.

- Brodie, you've got

the page, let's go.

Brodie!

- Sh*t!

Medina.

- Brodie.

HEY-

- HEY-

- We're just holed

up in - inside.

" We?

- When Medina was

killing those demons

I got a bit of a half-chub.

- Look, let's get back

to the matter at hand here.

Seeing as how you're in an

underground dwarven citadel,

it looks as if it has

nested hinges, which are...

- Oh... Brodie!

- Told you they'd be okay.

- No you didn't.

You said they were

probably dead already.

You wanted dibs

on his guitar.

Ow.

- I found these guys

outside your house.

- You were looking for us?

- Of course.

Ah, you got our note, right

- No. I didn't see any note.

- Oh.

- Who would have thought

that Mr Proctor's

rock collection would

come in handy?

Oh gosh.

Your hand.

- Oh, ah, it's okay.

- No.

- That's Zakk's jacket.

When did you get that?

- He, urn...

He lent it to me.

He stopped by the other night

to - to tell me that, um...

you know, hmm?

You weren't interested.

- What?

- The note that I gave

Zakk to give to you

to meet me at the

park at 9:
00.

- No.

I didn't get that note either.

So...

did you guys hook up?

Motherf***er!

- Brodie, just leave it.

- F***in' wanker.

You knew I liked her.

- Calm the f*** down,

all right?

I'm not even into her;

I was just bored.

Oh well. That's supposed

to make it f***in' better?

What happened to

Brotherhood of Steel?

You know what?

Everyone was f***in'

right about you.

- You're a piece of sh*t.

- F*** you!

- You let this happen by being

such an insecure p*ssy.

Yeah, that's right, walk away.

Grow some

f***ing balls, man.

Motherf***er!

- You motherf***er.

You knew I liked her.

- Save it for the demons,

you two!

- All right.

All right.

F*** you!

I never even liked you.

Good luck

fighting evil without me.

You're all gonna f***in' die.

Death to false metal!

- I expected this.

He's Chaotic Neutral

and you're Lawful Good.

Your alignments are

just totally mismatched.

- How are we gonna

play it backwards?

It was hard enough

playing it forwards.

- Will take a few goes.

- Well, time isn't

exactly on our side.

- And another problem:

when we first played the song,

everyone in the neighborhood

got possessed first, right?

" So?

- Well, they were all

within earshot.

But our amps blew up.

- Right. Okay, so we need

some serious decibels.

- Well, does the

school have any?

- Are you kidding?

Our whole music class had

to share the same recorder.

I can still taste it.

- I know a place

that has amps.

Big ones.

Not sure if they still work,

but it's our only chance.

- Out there?

It's gonna be crazy.

And we don't have

a car without Zakk.

- Zakk can eat my ass.

We don't need him.

We can do it on our own.

- F*** yeah.

F*** yeah.

- Let's tear sh*t up.

Shh. Stay low.

Come on.

- Just chill, all right?

We're not demons.

- Drop the weapons.

Now.

- Damn.

I can't tell if I have a fear

boner or a boner-boner.

- I didn't even say anything.

Hit him.

- Listen, just let us go, okay.

You don't know

what you're doing.

The town is overrun

with f***ing demons.

- We know exactly

what we're doing.

Give me the Vogue-catty

queff-wrecks-demony.

- Um, it's actually pronounced

Vocavitque rex daemonia.

That tongue wasn't

meant for Latin.

- Oh! Come on!

- The Black Hymn!

Where is it?!

- I don't know

what you talking about.

- Ah, no.

- Ow.

- Well?

- Don't tell this Manson family

cumbucket anything, Brodie.

- Okay, okay-

- It's here.

No!

- Tie them up,

take them in the bedroom.

They can be a live

offering for Aeloth.

- No.

No, please, let us go.

- You had your chance.

You awakened Aeloth,

pleaded with him to take

away your weakness

and vanquish your enemies.

He would've given you

power, fame, fortune,

and any woman you want.

But you blew it.

- Is that true, Brodie?

You did all of this for power?

- I didn't want this.

- Get them out.

- Whoa, whoa, okay.

Okay, okay.

- Do you think if we soil

our pants, they'll let us go?

- I guess we'll find out soon.

- ...In sanguine.

Intra in sanguinem.

De caelo laceri.

Lacerato horrorem.

Proin cursus meum.

Regnabunt autem in sanguine.

Intra in sanguinem...

- Hey, I never meant

for this to happen, okay?

I just want to

let you know that.

I was desperate.

I just-

I felt so f***in' powerless.

- You are not powerless,

Brodie.

You can still stop this.

I know you can.

- What was that, guys?

- Sh*t.

- There's something in there.

- Which one of you c*nts

wants to be

skull-f***ed first?

No.

- You.

- No, no, not me!

I need my skull for exams!

- Sacrifice is a noble act,

you know.

- F***ing old bastard.

Oh my God.

- Did you miss me?

- I thought you were

off to the lookout

to watch the town burn?

- Realized I couldn't

leave my mate in the sh*t.

Not with all these

demons to mega-kill.

Metalheads stick together,

right?

- Whoa, wait.

You decided that you

wanted to help us,

and then you went

and applied makeup?

Well, how long did that take?

What 10, 15 minutes?

- It's not makeup,

it's f***ing corpse paint.

For going into battle?

- Okay-

Well, you look adorable.

It really brings out your eyes.

- What's the plan?

- Okay. I get my guitar.

You guys get me to the amps.

Cover me.

- But she ripped up the pages.

Do you really think you can

play it from memory?

- I have to try.

- One more thing...

can you quickly

pull me off?

Oh right.

- De caelo laceri.

Lacerato horrorem.

- Metal up your ass,

motherf***er!

- Ah!

- No!

- Where's Dion?

- Well, he was

right behind us.

He must have got lost.

- There's only a few

f***ing rooms.

- Dion!

- F***!

- Giles!

- Hurry, Brodie.

- Trying-

- Kill them all!

- It's three AM.

- Aeloth!

Come in to me!

Fill me with your power!

- So much power!

This is f***ing brutal.

- What?

- Oh f***.

You know, I'm not even sure

I'm in the right tuning.

- So, dude, I'm thinking

about doing a Burzum

and starting my own

solo project.

- Medina!

Run! Run!

- I mean, you and

the rest of the band

are just dead weight.

- Dude, zip up your fly.

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