Deathstalker II Page #2
- R
- Year:
- 1987
- 85 min
- 177 Views
Why do they call you
the prince of thieves?
Because I'm the best.
- But you're not a real prince?
Which way?
The west road.
- Are you sure?
- Absolutely.
The crystal ball
never lets me down.
The west road.
You're sure about that?
The west road.
If you had the chance
to marry a real Princess,
would you do it?
No, I wouldn't.
Why not?
Because being a Princess brings out
the worst in a woman.
Always whinin' and poutin',
and actin'
like a spoiled little brat, if they
don't get their own way all...
Give it to me, chin.
What do you got?
Deathstalker's as good
as in the grave.
Look, sailor, don't carve
a tombstone so readily.
He has as many lives,
as a cat.
And, remember,
the last one belongs to me.
If he's made of flesh and blood,
he can die.
Never underestimate
the strength of an enemy.
Especially an accomplished fighter
like stalker.
You telling me how to do
my job, sultana?
Just giving you
some friendly advice.
Well, keep it to yourself.
on a platter.
Like a piece of raw meat.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah! I've got just the butchers
to do it!
Say hello to crazy Otto reingold,
the mad prussian,
solely responsible
for the lemurian massacres
that killed hundreds
and left thousands homeless.
I'm sure you recognize
ed "the head" schamanski.
Five years on the genghis Khan
strike force,
part-time consultant
to Attila the hun.
Next.
John "the baptist" bombaso.
Drowning's his specialty.
Beside him...
Nick "the crippler" of kashmir.
I think his name says it all.
And last, but not least,
the real find,
buddy "footstool" laroza,
only recently dismissed
by Ivan the terrible...
...for excessive brutality.
Still skeptical?
You bet I am.
Suit yourself.
Come on, boys.
Okay, men.
Let him have it!
Close, men, but don't kill...
Not yet.
another way.
Oh, really? You think so?
West road, right!
I oughta...
- Who are they?
- You tell me. You're the seer.
Well, they're trying to kill us.
Somebody give the lady a cigar.
Look, if they were trying
to kill us,
they could have done it
way back down the road.
No, they're...
they're after something.
You sure you're telling me
everything?
I told you it was gonna be a long
and perilous journey, didn't I?
Yeah, yeah, witches, ogres,
all that bad stuff.
You and your visions!
Knew these would come in handy.
Where you goin'?
- Just stay put.
- I wanna help.
You've done plenty already.
That'll be fine, boys.
Save your arrows.
Whew.
Stalker? Stalker!
There... huh?
Throw your sword down...
Or I'll cut her pretty,
little throat.
Go ahead. Cut it.
You rat!
You were gonna let him kill me!
Now, would I do a thing
like that?
Come on, let's go find that horse
and get the hell out of here.
Oh!
And, uh, would you mind
taking that knife
out of that guy for me?
It's the only one I got left.
Ew!
- Wait a minute!
- What do you want now?
Were you really gonna
let him kill me?
Deathstalker, you weren't really
gonna let him kill me, were you?
Huh? No, you wouldn't do that?
Deathstalker!
Ah, you're back!
Minus the fearless five.
You should have
listened to me.
You wanna b*tch?
B*tch to jarek.
- What news have you?
- Bad news, lord jarek.
I hate bad news.
It spoils my day.
I got an idea.
Come closer.
I'll kill that son of a b*tch
if it kills me.
You may rest assured
that it will.
So long, sailor.
Well, look what we have here.
Spooky, huh?
Yeah.
Stalker...
I still don't understand
why you want to break in there.
Because
we're broke, that's why.
What's that got to do with anything?
That's a family mausoleum.
There are probably...
More jewels in there,
than we can carry out.
You're about to become
a very rich woman.
I was just starting
to enjoy poverty.
Come on, where's your sense
of adventure?
This isn't adventure.
It's just damn scary!
Yeah, but, uh...
When legends told...
I want people to think
we faced this bravely.
When the legend's told,
nobody's gonna believe
we were this stupid!
- Stalker.
- Huh?
I heard somewhere it was bad luck
to walk over graves.
I heard it was only
the open ones.
- Wait a minute!
- What?
I just remembered.
My hat...
I left the door unlocked.
We gotta go back!
- You don't have a door?
- I don't?
No.
Oh, yeah.
What was that?
The wind.
It should get oiled.
It came from in there.
You bet it did.
Stalker, you're not really
going in there?
- Don't go in there. It's dark.
- Look, relax, will ya?
Whew!
Well, come on in.
What are you waiting for?
Ah, come on, it's a little smelly,
but what could happen?
Stalker!
Stalker.
You know...
Grave robbing is not only
morally repulsive,
but I believe it carries a rather
stiff penalty, in these parts.
Who the hell are you?
Forgive me for not introducing
myself properly.
But I assumed a person with even
your limited deductive powers,
could have guessed.
Jarek.
Stalker.
Stalker!
Get out here!
Stalker, get out here!
I'd offer you my hand, sir.
But it's both tiring
and inconvenient
to be at two places at once...
Even for a sorcerer.
So if you'll be so good
as to excuse me,
I have a rather pressing
engagement to attend to.
And, oh, by the way...
I've arranged one for you
as well.
Stalker!
Ah! Son of a b*tch.
Ah! The old crushing wall
routine, huh?
You couldn't do better than this?
Me and my big mouth...
Stalker! Stalker!
Stalker!
Stalker!
Stalker!
Gotta be a secret lever
around here someplace.
Uh-huh!
Yipe!
Stalker!
Stalker!
Stalker!
Stalker!
Stalker! Get out here!
Stalker!
Gosh, leave you alone
for five minutes,
look what happens.
Come on!
Come on!
I'm comin'! I'm comin'!
Yah! Yah!
Come on! Yah!
Don't you know another tune?
Get out of here!
It's happening again!
Guards! Guards!
No! No!
No!
Dinner is served, your majesty.
- Did you see the face on her?
- Too bad. Nice body, though!
Come.
I won't bite.
You know, something funny
is going on here.
First, we get attacked
by bandits.
What's next?
Don't answer that!
Every time,
it's like they're waiting for us.
This jarek guy
is playing for keeps.
I told you the path would be
filled with perils.
Yeah, yeah.
We can forget the legend,
if you want to.
There's still time to turn back.
Reward's still up for grabs,
isn't it?
Uh-huh.
Who said anything
about turning back?
Not me.
Here...
Looks like you could use this.
What are you gonna use?
The fire won't last
but a few more minutes.
- I'll be all right.
- Are you sure?
There's plenty of blanket here.
Nah.
Oh, okay...
- Isn't it cozy?
- Yeah, I think so.
- Stalker?
- Hmm?
Is that your sword
or you just happy to see me?
Well, what's the Ol' crystal ball
say about this one?
Just follow the road to bagoth,
turn west at a tree
that looks like a rock,
where you cross a dry riverbed,
where the water is more shallow.
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