Deathstalker II Page #2

Synopsis: Deathstalker helps Reena the Seer out of a few jams, and she solicits his help for a bigger task. She reveals that she is actually Princess Evie, but the evil sorcerer had her abducted and cloned in order to seize control of the kingdom. Together they travel to the evil sorcerer's stronghold to restore the princess to her rightful position, encountering challenges along the way both from the sorcerer's goons and the fierce Amazon women.
Director(s): Jim Wynorski
Production: Concorde Pictures
 
IMDB:
5.3
R
Year:
1987
85 min
177 Views


Why do they call you

the prince of thieves?

Because I'm the best.

- But you're not a real prince?

Which way?

The west road.

- Are you sure?

- Absolutely.

The crystal ball

never lets me down.

The west road.

You're sure about that?

The west road.

If you had the chance

to marry a real Princess,

would you do it?

No, I wouldn't.

Why not?

Because being a Princess brings out

the worst in a woman.

Always whinin' and poutin',

and actin'

like a spoiled little brat, if they

don't get their own way all...

Give it to me, chin.

What do you got?

Deathstalker's as good

as in the grave.

Look, sailor, don't carve

a tombstone so readily.

He has as many lives,

as a cat.

And, remember,

the last one belongs to me.

If he's made of flesh and blood,

he can die.

Never underestimate

the strength of an enemy.

Especially an accomplished fighter

like stalker.

You telling me how to do

my job, sultana?

Just giving you

some friendly advice.

Well, keep it to yourself.

I'll bring stalker to you

on a platter.

Like a piece of raw meat.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah! I've got just the butchers

to do it!

Say hello to crazy Otto reingold,

the mad prussian,

solely responsible

for the lemurian massacres

that killed hundreds

and left thousands homeless.

I'm sure you recognize

ed "the head" schamanski.

Five years on the genghis Khan

strike force,

part-time consultant

to Attila the hun.

Next.

John "the baptist" bombaso.

Drowning's his specialty.

Beside him...

Nick "the crippler" of kashmir.

I think his name says it all.

And last, but not least,

the real find,

buddy "footstool" laroza,

only recently dismissed

by Ivan the terrible...

...for excessive brutality.

Still skeptical?

You bet I am.

Suit yourself.

Come on, boys.

Okay, men.

Let him have it!

Close, men, but don't kill...

Not yet.

I think we better find

another way.

Oh, really? You think so?

West road, right!

I oughta...

- Who are they?

- You tell me. You're the seer.

Well, they're trying to kill us.

Somebody give the lady a cigar.

Look, if they were trying

to kill us,

they could have done it

way back down the road.

No, they're...

they're after something.

You sure you're telling me

everything?

I told you it was gonna be a long

and perilous journey, didn't I?

Yeah, yeah, witches, ogres,

all that bad stuff.

You and your visions!

Knew these would come in handy.

Where you goin'?

- Just stay put.

- I wanna help.

You've done plenty already.

That'll be fine, boys.

Save your arrows.

Whew.

Stalker? Stalker!

There... huh?

Throw your sword down...

Or I'll cut her pretty,

little throat.

Go ahead. Cut it.

You rat!

You were gonna let him kill me!

Now, would I do a thing

like that?

Come on, let's go find that horse

and get the hell out of here.

Oh!

And, uh, would you mind

taking that knife

out of that guy for me?

It's the only one I got left.

Ew!

- Wait a minute!

- What do you want now?

Were you really gonna

let him kill me?

Deathstalker, you weren't really

gonna let him kill me, were you?

Huh? No, you wouldn't do that?

Deathstalker!

Ah, you're back!

Minus the fearless five.

You should have

listened to me.

You wanna b*tch?

B*tch to jarek.

I'm calling him right now.

- What news have you?

- Bad news, lord jarek.

I hate bad news.

It spoils my day.

I got an idea.

Come closer.

I'll kill that son of a b*tch

if it kills me.

You may rest assured

that it will.

So long, sailor.

Well, look what we have here.

Spooky, huh?

Yeah.

Stalker...

I still don't understand

why you want to break in there.

Because

we're broke, that's why.

What's that got to do with anything?

That's a family mausoleum.

There are probably...

More jewels in there,

than we can carry out.

You're about to become

a very rich woman.

I was just starting

to enjoy poverty.

Come on, where's your sense

of adventure?

This isn't adventure.

It's just damn scary!

Yeah, but, uh...

When legends told...

I want people to think

we faced this bravely.

When the legend's told,

nobody's gonna believe

we were this stupid!

- Stalker.

- Huh?

I heard somewhere it was bad luck

to walk over graves.

I heard it was only

the open ones.

- Wait a minute!

- What?

I just remembered.

My hat...

I left the door unlocked.

We gotta go back!

- You don't have a door?

- I don't?

No.

Oh, yeah.

What was that?

The wind.

It should get oiled.

It came from in there.

You bet it did.

Stalker, you're not really

going in there?

- Don't go in there. It's dark.

- Look, relax, will ya?

Whew!

Well, come on in.

What are you waiting for?

Ah, come on, it's a little smelly,

but what could happen?

Stalker!

Stalker.

You know...

Grave robbing is not only

morally repulsive,

but I believe it carries a rather

stiff penalty, in these parts.

Who the hell are you?

Forgive me for not introducing

myself properly.

But I assumed a person with even

your limited deductive powers,

could have guessed.

Jarek.

Stalker.

Stalker!

Get out here!

Stalker, get out here!

I'd offer you my hand, sir.

But it's both tiring

and inconvenient

to be at two places at once...

Even for a sorcerer.

So if you'll be so good

as to excuse me,

I have a rather pressing

engagement to attend to.

And, oh, by the way...

I've arranged one for you

as well.

Stalker!

Ah! Son of a b*tch.

Ah! The old crushing wall

routine, huh?

You couldn't do better than this?

Me and my big mouth...

Stalker! Stalker!

Stalker!

Stalker!

Stalker!

Gotta be a secret lever

around here someplace.

Uh-huh!

Yipe!

Stalker!

Stalker!

Stalker!

Stalker!

Stalker! Get out here!

Stalker!

Gosh, leave you alone

for five minutes,

look what happens.

Come on!

Come on!

I'm comin'! I'm comin'!

Yah! Yah!

Come on! Yah!

Don't you know another tune?

Get out of here!

It's happening again!

Guards! Guards!

No! No!

No!

Dinner is served, your majesty.

- Did you see the face on her?

- Too bad. Nice body, though!

Come.

I won't bite.

You know, something funny

is going on here.

First, we get attacked

by bandits.

Then those damned zombies.

What's next?

Don't answer that!

Every time,

it's like they're waiting for us.

This jarek guy

is playing for keeps.

I told you the path would be

filled with perils.

Yeah, yeah.

We can forget the legend,

if you want to.

There's still time to turn back.

Reward's still up for grabs,

isn't it?

Uh-huh.

Who said anything

about turning back?

Not me.

Here...

Looks like you could use this.

What are you gonna use?

The fire won't last

but a few more minutes.

- I'll be all right.

- Are you sure?

There's plenty of blanket here.

Nah.

Oh, okay...

- Isn't it cozy?

- Yeah, I think so.

- Stalker?

- Hmm?

Is that your sword

or you just happy to see me?

Well, what's the Ol' crystal ball

say about this one?

Just follow the road to bagoth,

turn west at a tree

that looks like a rock,

where you cross a dry riverbed,

where the water is more shallow.

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Neil Ruttenberg

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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