Deathstalker II Page #3

What? Dry river?

Just... just follow the mountains!

Okay!

Not gonna be any zombies

or anything, are there?

It's a clear road.

No surprises.

- No surprises?

- No surprises.

No surprises?

Some oracle

you turned out to be!

Three out of four's not bad!

Uh, why I oughta...

Rough crowd!

- Look, I...

- Let me do the talking.

Now listen.

I think there's been some mistake.

Maybe you haven't heard of me.

Silence!

Haven't we met before?

No, no, no.

I don't think so.

I would have remembered.

You look a lot like Evie of jzafir,

the demon Princess,

who raids our camps

and burns our crops,

and steals our men.

Me? A Princess?

Do I look like a Princess to you?

No.

But my name is reena.

Reena the seer.

- Reena?

- Oh, yeah...

Her name's reena, all right.

Reena the seer.

Reena the liar.

Oh, well,

maybe I've made a mistake.

Yeah, uh, well...

Now that we've, uh, cleared up

this little misunderstanding,

and we're all friends again...

Uh...Maybe we could just be

on our way.

The girl may go,

but not you.

Deathstalker.

So. You have heard of me.

Oh, yes.

Your legend precedes you.

Your exploits as a womanizer

are well known in these parts.

Well, I am more of a lover

than a fighter.

- I hope not.

- Huh?

You'll be put on trial for your

crimes against womanhood.

Trial?

- Trial?

- Trial...

...by combat!

Used to be able to do this great.

How's it goin'?

It's a farce!

I can beat any of these women

with my hands tied

behind my back.

That's the spirit!

Come on! Come on!

Let's get goin'!

Let's get in the ring!

Okay, okay, I'm goin'.

Stop shovin'...

- Deathstalker!

- Here it comes.

According to our laws,

we must settle

all serious disputes

in a trial by combat.

Your opponent, in this contest,

shall be none other than gorgo,

our fiercest warrior.

And my champion!

Gorge! Gorge! Gorge!

I could beat her

with my eyes closed.

Gorge!. Come on down!

It's taking candy

from a baby. You name it!

Did you see her?

- Stalker.

- Shut up, will ya?

- Shut up.

- Stalker!

Look, I could beat her

with my eyes closed.

I think you should keep

at least one eye open.

What are you talking about?

What?

Aumence! Gorge! Gorge!

Gorge! Gorgo!

Get back!

Gorge!. Gorge!.

Gorgo!. Gorgo!

Gorgo! Gorgo!

This is, of course,

a fight to the death.

Naturally.

No mercy.

Well...

May the best man...

Skip it.

Let the fight begin!

that's a nice outfit.

You have to buy your clothes

at a special store?

Gorgo! Gorgo!

Get up! All right, come on.

Whoa!

Gorgo! Gorgo!

Aumence! Gorge! Gorge!

Gorge! Gorgo!

And stay down!

Come on.

here's what you gotta do.

Stay away from her,

wear her out, run her down,

then attack!

Attack! Yeah...

If I'm still alive,

I'll have her in five.

Six, maybe.

Seven at the outside.

go get her, tiger!

Whoa!

No, not the hair!

Not the hair!

Anything but the hair!

Get up! Okay! Come on!

Could I have just one minute

of your time?

No!

Gorgo! Gorgo!

you're looking good out there.

Doing a good job.

Ease it up, and don't let her

get you with that right.

I won't...

You know, she may...

Have the strength...

I got the stamina...

Go get 'em!

Goddamnit!

Oh!

just where I want her now.

She's putty in my hands.

Putty in my hand.

no! No!

Get tough! Get tough!

Geronimo!

Go for a spin!

Come on.

Jab! Jab! Jab!

Jab! Jab! Jab!

Kill her!

Kill her! Kill her!

Kill her!

What are you doing?

This is a fight to the death!

You wanna kill her?

Do it yourself.

That was incredible!

You were great!

Thanks... Princess.

Wait!

Look...

I know I haven't been completely

on the level with you.

Yeah, you can say that again.

I can't believe I bought

that whole bill of goods

you tried to sell me.

- I bet you're not even a seer!

- Well, not a very good one.

But I am a Princess...

Or I was.

Jarek made a double of me,

put her on the throne,

and seized the kingdom.

Oh, that's... that's good.

That's rich.

Try it on the next sap you meet.

Look...

I escaped, I needed help,

and I didn't know

whether you'd believe me.

So you dangled fame and fortune

in front of me,

like some kind of carrot?

Didn't you think

i might help ya?

Haven't you ever heard

of honor among thieves?

You mean you would have

helped me without the money?

I didn't say that!

See?

Look...

Begging your highness's pardon,

but I'd rather be an obscure thief

than a famous fool.

I want her here,

and I want her here now!

Where the hell is she?

Evie, darling.

I'm sick of all this

waiting around...

While that little b*tch

is out there,

plotting against me!

Evie, darling, it's jarek.

What do you want?

I hate her!

I hate her! I hate her!

Why haven't you found her yet?

Patience, my little lovebird.

You needn't worry.

I shall find her.

You will be pleased, though,

i think, to learn

that I have achieved what I believe

to be a major breakthrough.

I hope so.

Every day I fade more and more!

Soon, I'll cease to exist!

Come with me to my chamber.

You shan't be disappointed.

This better be good.

I assure you, it will be good.

In my hand...

I hold the key to our success

and happiness, my darling.

- The elixir.

- Elixir?

An elixir which will sever your ties

to the real Princess forever.

Now for the moment of triumph.

A work of art, don't you think?

I duplicated him

as I duplicated you.

Now for the test.

You may have the honor.

Thank you.

- It works!

- Naturally.

You've made me so happy.

Drink this, and our little Princess

is as good as dead.

Thank you again.

Have you girls

seen deathstalker?

No.

- Have you seen deathstalker?

- No.

- Have you seen deathstalker?

- There he is.

Shall we drink, then, to your

magnificent battle tonight?

And...

The magnificent battle

yet to come.

Which one's that?

Oh, that!

Your body's close to me...

But your mind seems far away.

Just... wait here, one minute.

Don't go away.

- Stalker?

- Hmm?

Just think...

Our lovemaking tonight may spawn

generations of leaders to come.

The passion in our hearts will burn

like a great sensual fire...

Melding our souls into

a whirlpool of unending ecstasy.

- Sounds good to me.

- Tomorrow...

My servant will awaken us

at dawn.

You gotta be kiddin'?

After that fight, I was kinda

looking forward to sleeping in.

Oh, no! That's not possible.

The ceremony traditionally

is performed at daybreak.

Ceremony?

What ceremony?

Our wedding ceremony.

Aw, sh*t!

Excuse me, have you seen

the girl I was with?

I think she left a half-hour ago.

Thanks.

I don't suppose you guys

are hunters,

and I stepped

into your bear trap?

Nah, I didn't think so.

Ah!

Now that you're up,

your royal highness,

there are matters

we need to discuss.

You're the one

who helped jarek!

In all the excitement,

we never really did

have a chance

to sit down and talk.

But now we can fix all that.

Where's deathstalker?

Why should I tell you anything?

Huh?

I can think of lots of reasons.

Here's one.

I'll never talk!

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