Decoys 2: Alien Seduction Page #3

And you stink. Must be the burgers.

You like that, huh? You want

some more of that? How about this?

Excuse me.

- Do you know anything about cars?

- Cars?

Yeah...

- Mine won't start. I think I flooded it.

- Oh...

So will you come and check it out for me?

- Please?

- Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

Oh, wait! Can you wait one second?

Just one second.

I gotta grab something real quick.

Just one second. I'll just be one second.

Yes, Stein'll be back, baby, yeah...

Hey! Give me your cellphone.

I left mine at the dorm.

But she's not your type. I mean, she's got

no black leather, she's got no studs...

Dude, I think she'll be just fine.

Can you give me your cellphone?

I could swear I've seen her before.

Oh, yeah?

Hey, baby, Steiner's back.

Let's do this. Yeah...

Jesus.

Steiner's not hurt, baby.

No, no, that didn't hurt.

Looks like Arnold got lucky.

- Yeah, it looks like it.

- Why'd you give him your cellphone?

He... He needed to

call his parents back. So...

Yeah, you are a really bad liar.

What are you guys up to?

Look, I gotta get back to my dorm room,

'cause I got a killer exam tomorrow...

So I'll talk to you later.

This is so sweet of you.

- I'm Jasmine, by the way.

- Steiner. Arnold Steiner.

You live around here?

Well, I just moved here.

Actually, I just transferred

from my junior college.

Oh, yeah?

- You have a major?

- Of course, I do. Party till you drop.

My car's just over there, through the park.

- We'll just have to cut through there.

- Sure. I'll follow you.

Actually, I lied. I don't even have a car.

- I just like the way you look.

- You like the way I look?

Not so fast now.

Slow and easy.

- Slow and easy?

- Uh-huh.

- Now, take off your jacket.

- Huh?

I want to see what you look like.

- What are you doing?

- Just turning my cellphone off.

Don't want us to be interrupted. Yeah.

All right. Now, where were we?

Open. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on.

Someone needs a little discipline.

Time to punish you.

- How did you do that?

- What?

- Don't you like what you see?

- I like it. I like it...

- Aren't you cold?

- A little.

- But it excites me.

- Oh...

Whoa!

It's kind of cold.

Yeah, well, you've been a bad boy, Arnold.

And you're just gonna have to

stay out here in the cold and freeze.

No. No...

Arnold.

Hang on, buddy. I'm coming.

- Oh, good. You're still alive.

- Arnold!

Arnie, where are you, buddy? Arnold!

Sam, I can't breathe so good.

- You're gonna be okay. All right?

- No...

Not okay...

I'm gonna get you to a doctor.

Can you walk?

I don't think so.

Head feels funny.

Where's my cellphone?

I've been a bad boy, Sam.

- Okay, forget the cellphone.

- I've been a bad boy, Sam.

I'm gonna get us some wheels, all right?

I'll be back. I promise. I promise you.

911. What is your emergency?

- Yes, this is a medical emergency.

- What is your location, sir?

- In the park on campus.

- Please calm down, sir.

- What is the nature of your emergency?

- Look. Something's happened to my friend.

- Is he conscious, sir? Are you there, sir?

- Thanks.

Hey!

Hey!

Look. Something's happened to my friend.

I need to get him to a hospital.

- Where?

- Come on!

Come.

He's here. Arnold!

Arnold!

Arnold!

Dialing 911 for no reason

is a serious offense.

What?

It wasn't for no reason.

Look, something happened to Arnold.

- What do you think happened to him?

- I don't know.

Well, it's pretty obvious. He took off.

No, but he wouldn't have left

without my cellphone.

- I'm gonna let you off with a warning.

- But...

If I see you back here, you're

gonna get charged. Understand?

Yes, sir.

But it excites me.

How does a major dweeb like Arnold

get with a total hottie like that?

Love is a mystery, my friend.

That's not just love.

Yeah, that's... That's much better.

Yeah, that's full-on lust.

- It must've been the spray.

- Oh, what spray?

Looks like Arnold's pretty cold.

Looks like the temperature's dropping fast.

- Now, what the hell is that?

- It looks like some kind of snake.

- But that doesn't make any sense.

- That's what it looks like.

Now, the temperature drop,

could it have caused this?

I mean, maybe.

I mean, these things aren't made to survive

subzero temperatures outside, so...

Let's see that again.

But it excites me.

Arnold had a thing for chicks

in black leather and studs.

I mean, what's the chances

of finding your dream squeeze?

Astronomical.

Really astronomical.

Hey, Arnold. It's me, Sam.

Yeah, just give me a call when you get in.

All right, bro.

Nick's gonna win this thing

if you don't get in the game.

- What are you talking about?

- Look. My money's on you.

You just gotta get your first one

to break the ice.

- Well, do you have any suggestions?

- Stephanie.

- She's got the hots for you, man.

- No, she doesn't.

- Dude, open your eyes.

- We're just friends.

You're the only one who says that.

She never does. Why is that?

Luke?

- How long you been in here?

- Just a few hours. Maybe a little more.

You ought to take a break.

Stretch the limbs a little bit.

Go get something to eat.

Maybe find a little companionship.

You know, we...

We study the origin of life,

but we also have to live it.

Yeah.

I should really finish this.

What is this?

Oh, yeah...

- A few sketches that I was working on.

- What on earth is this?

It's something that's not from Earth.

It's the female of an alien species.

And these are?

The sexual organs.

They're kept inside till the

beginning of the reproductive act.

You know, there's a tremendous

amount of detail here.

I'm curious, what inspired you

to create something like this?

I saw her. No, no... I didn't create it.

I saw her.

- Are you serious?

- No.

No, of course not.

Go have some fun.

That's what guys your age

are supposed to do.

Yeah. Yeah.

I'm fine. It's really...

Wonderful musculature.

- Can I take a couple of these?

- Yeah. Sure.

Are you all right?

I'm not sure.

Where does it hurt?

- I...

- If it hurts, I could rub something.

But not in here. They hate it

when you talk in the library.

I know a place we can go where we can

make as much noise as we want.

Pretty cool, huh?

- Now, what were you going to rub exactly?

- Where does it ache?

I wonder what you're thinking about.

- How did you know?

- Like my outfit?

Want me to play teacher?

- You're gonna freeze like that.

- No, I'm still warm from the workout.

Hey, you know who I saw the other night?

Luke, the Biology TA.

- The one whose children you want to bear?

- Yeah, that's right.

But it was weird though.

He thought I was someone else.

- And then he told me this bizarre story.

- Yeah, I'm sure he has the hots for you.

About some girls at his undergrad college

who murdered guys

after having sex with them.

Oh, that's bizarre.

But the really bizarre part was

he had a vision that they were from

another planet where it was real cold.

So they were allergic to heat.

And I swear to God,

I think he believed it.

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