Decoys Page #3

- This ain't about you.

-I know, that's the point. It's about you.

I finally find a girl, a hot girl,

who's interested in me...

and you can't stand the competition.

Pi Omega's all wrong, man.

I'm talking casa du Roger.

Boys, there has been a death on campus.

There's a slight possibility

Constance might not be up for some nookie.

Actually...

Constance feels that now, more than ever,

we should make love tonight...

seeing how delicate life is and everything.

Take the room, bro.

Yes! Okay.

This is great, man. Thanks.

Looks like I've got to find a place

to crash tonight.

Oh, God! Help me!

That kid gets under my skin.

So are you going to

that Ice Queen thing tonight?

I guess.

Do you want to go together?

How come you don't have a date?

There's someone I like,

but the timing's not right yet.

Who?

It doesn't matter.

So this guy know you like him, or...

I can't hold it in any longer.

The council had a secret vote.

- Guess what?

-What?

- You're in!

-Oh, my God!

She's so brave.

She a dime-and-a-half.

I'm like a deer in boob lights right now.

I'm saying, she got the ba dunk-a-dunk!

Let's go say hi, Nathan.

Whatever you say, baby.

- Sisters?

-Let's.

Something ain't right.

It is pretty hardcore.

Bobby dies yesterday

and she's out tonight in a red dress.

- I got a plan.

-To do what?

To finally uncover them

for who they truly are.

- Okay, what is it?

-Either you're in or you're out.

- Where did you get this?

-Bustyourbabysitter.com. Serious.

I need you to plant that

in the shower upstairs, okay?

- Right.

-it's not like that.

"Girls gone wild."

Lilly and Constance aren't normal, Alex.

Photos equal proof.

Forget it. I'll do it myself.

I said I was in. I'm in.

All right. Meet you in the dorm room, okay?

Girls?

Who's out there?

Damn, baby girl, where you taking me?

Someplace romantic.

Fo' shizzle! You in trouble, girl.

Okay. Open.

You sick, you know that, Natasha?

And I like it. Come here, girl.

Give me some sugar now.

- Come on in here, Nathan.

-I love it when you call me that, girl.

I like what you've done with this place.

What do you dream about?

Papi like.

You just bought yourself a shirt.

Proceed, baby.

Can you...

All right. Perfect.

We are good to go.

Casa du Roger.

Come on, they're gonna be alone,

unguarded. She's sure to pop.

And we're gonna be right down the hall.

- Let's get back.

-Yes.

How you doing? You've reached Gibby.

I can't come to the phone right now

'cause I'm all up in some business.

Come on now, girl.

You do me right, I'll buy you a house, baby.

I'll buy you a house

with a big-ass bathroom in it...

and you can have all sorts of perfumes

and they could all...

Girl, you are some kind of freak,

you know that?

What the hell?

What's happening? Somebody help me!

Help me!

Cold.

He's tanked.

Good luck, sister.

Those other girls don't stand a chance.

Baby, come on.

I'll have a vodka. Chilled.

- Make it a triple.

-All right.

That's what I'm talking about!

I am a marshmallow! I'm a cookie!

Dude, look...

you've got a long night ahead of you,

all right? Remember that.

You're right.

- Smarten up.

-Tonight's the night.

Luke, come here.

I love you, man.

AH right, listen up, everybody.

It is showtime!

And now, presenting this year's Ice Queen...

a woman who could cause

a global meltdown:

Miss Lilly Vincent!

Hi. I'd like to dedicate this crown

and this entire night...

to a guy who stole my heart

and took it with him to heaven.

Bobby Johnson, we miss you.

Could I have a moment of silence?

Pretty please?

Sweetie, you are no good to me like this.

Save your energy, okay?

See you tomorrow night.

Thank you.

Bobby, I know you're up there somewhere.

This is for you.

Hit it.

- Hey, big fellow.

-What?

Come here.

Hi, Alex.

- I brought you a balloon.

-It's pretty, like my kitty.

Don't even go there.

Roger's out of commission. I'm going in.

Just make sure everything is ready.

Alex, I know what I'm doing.

Just be there.

You smell like chicken.

- Congratulations.

-Thank you.

I like what you said about Bobby.

- That was nice.

-Thanks.

So, where did your cousin go?

I'm not her keeper.

You wanna get out of here?

- Sure.

-Good.

I lost him.

That string of three stars?

That's the belt of Orion.

What do you know about him?

Nothing.

He's the night sky's grandest figure.

He's the warrior, a hunter of prey.

Most people think of him as aggressive,

but I think he's misunderstood.

Must be tough,

getting a bad rap for a thousand years.

Have you ever felt isolated?

Like you just don't fit in?

Imagine getting dropped off here...

and not knowing a single soul

except your cousin...

who secretly resents anything good

that happens to you.

It's unreal.

I actually feel guilty

when I'm happy and she's not.

- That sucks.

-Yeah.

And she's the one with the boyfriend.

I'm all alone.

No.

You're not.

Luke, what are you doing?

I love fresh air.

So do I.

Here. Come on.

We're in business.

- This is so beautiful.

-So are you.

Holy sh*t!

Sh*t!

Oh, God! No!

- Did you see her?

-See what?

The computer.

I don't know what happened,

but the computer freaked out.

Let me see.

- She saw the camera.

-I know.

It's the Loch Ness monster at best.

You see anything?

Damn it.

What about the shower cam? Punch that up.

See? Look at that. There.

Did you see that? Right there.

That mark on her chest?

I mean, they're everywhere.

They've come to the Earth to kill us all.

These women have the right

to live their lives...

without some pervert

putting cameras in their freaking showers.

There are laws protecting privacy, son,

and I'm sure you've broken all of them.

- I needed proof!

-Proof?

You need proof?

All this proves to me

is that you're demented.

And don't you think that

you've fallen off my murder suspect list, pal.

This incident has just given you

a promotion to the top of the heap.

- Kirk? You called?

-Get him out of my sight.

Move it!

You gonna walk me all the way home?

- Luke, listen--

-No, look, you listen.

Things have been

totally whacked out lately...

but I know one thing is true.

You cut me loose

without even saying goodbye.

Say something.

I don't believe you're a murderer.

Is that enough?

Not even close.

It's so cold, my ass is frozen shut.

- Are you sure you don't want my jacket?

-I'm sure.

Lick? It's Chunky Monkey.

No thanks. I probably wouldn't be able

to keep it down anyway.

Suit yourself.

I'm sorry I passed out on you last night.

Well, everything did kind of go limp

for me after that.

What a crazy coincidence.

I must say, though,

the evening wasn't the same without you.

But I made the best of it.

This is my stop.

So, I'll meet you after the Bio final.

The countdown's begun.

- Bye.

-Bye.

Where the hell is everybody?

How you doing? You've reached Gibby.

I can't come to the phone right now

'cause Fm all up in some business.

What's happening?

-It was right in front of me the whole time.

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