Decoys Page #4

-What was?

They love the cold, right?

And the heat is their weakness.

Those candles totally freaked out Lilly.

She went ballistic and started to change.

- You heard it at least, right?

-Honestly, I didn't.

Of course not, why would you?

I'm sorry, it was dark in the monitor.

I was disoriented.

I'm trying, Luke!

Welcome to my life.

I'm a punch line at the alien roundtable.

Hey, buddy.

Thanks for the campfire last night.

Lilly really digs her new third-degree burns.

What are you doing, man? That's my sh*t.

I'm looking for something. Anything.

She must have shed or something.

She had scales and a black liquid.

Knock it off, man. What gives you the right

to do this? Come on.

I'm solo on this witch-hunt

and nothing is gonna stand in my way!

Come on.

Over the line, bucko. You touched my porn.

Luke, calm down.

Will you look at yourself, man?

Last week, it was all about PS2

and doing bong hits. This week:

cameras, conspiracies,

and ass-kicking aliens from Hooter planet.

I got one word for you, dude: issues.

Do me a favor, Luke.

Why don't you go out, find someone

10 years older than you, maximum...

go and get laid.

Screw you.

Nice.

I have a confession to make.

I already know you're a virgin, baby.

No, it's not that.

Wait.

I really like you.

You're smart...

focused...

not to mention incredibly fine.

You are not so bad yourself.

But honesty is the foundation...

on which every successful relationship

is built, right?

Did you have a lot of sisters growing up

or something?

It's just that...

I don't want us to hide anything from

each other, especially if we're gonna be...

intimate.

- -Okay

-Okay?

It's just that...

Luke thinks that you're a killer.

A killer babe?

A killer alien...

-from outer space.

-What?

He thinks that you and Lilly

have already toasted a bunch of guys...

and that you're part of some hottie

invasion force from hell or something.

I know it sounds super stupid, believe me.

It's just that I wanted to...

I wanna clear the air between us

before we make love.

No secrets, okay? Full disclosure.

I wasn't supposed to have feelings

about this.

About what?

About you.

I've never met anyone like you, Roger.

- You say it like it's a bad thing.

-it is.

Because everything you've said

about Lilly and I...

is true.

Wait a minute.

You gotta be kidding me.

You're a serial killer from outer space?

I knew that I couldn't go through with it.

Not with you, Roger.

I mean, the others,

they were one step away from date rape.

- And Bobby, who was gonna miss him?

-His parents?

He beat his last girlfriend

within an inch of her life.

- Still.

-We're not murderers!

My sisters and I have come here

out of desperation.

We needed a new frozen planet

with an abundant supply of male DNA...

to save our species.

Okay.

Why? Why us? Why here?

Why St. John's College?

We found this college

on your wireless Internet...

and we were particularly attracted to this.

IceQueen.ca?

Our scout came here two years ago

to prepare...

and she confirmed

what your website advertised:

ice-cold hormones.

What was left of our female race

started to arrive six weeks ago.

In Canada.

People are awfully nice.

Yeah, except your victims.

Getting the incubation temperature

just right has been a little bit tricky.

The truth is if you and I

were to make love tonight...

you would almost certainly die.

Sure takes the edge off getting laid.

We are getting closer with each host.

I mean, we're adapting.

I must be the first breeder.

What if...

What if I'm the first guy it works on?

I could be an alien dad or something.

That'd be kind of cool.

Although it would be the highest honor

imaginable to be the first one to spawn...

I will not take that chance with you.

Let's wait.

That should hold them.

I'm just an innocent sorority girl

trying to get a B in Physics.

That's crap and you know it.

Okay, Lilly?

You're gonna spill.

Now.

Luke, you're scaring me.

You hear that?

That's the sound of good old H20...

reaching a cruising altitude

of 212 degrees Fahrenheit.

Kind of gets under your skin...

doesn't it?

Please don't do this!

Can I see it?

What?

Your...

No.

I don't think it's a good idea.

It's all about trust, right?

Where's your bellybutton?

Give me your hand.

Next time, I'm gonna supersize my fire.

It's okay.

I'm going to start

with a simple question, okay?

What do you

and the intergalactic bikini team want?

World domination...

one dick at a time?

I don't know what you're talking about!

Please let me go.

Please?

How do you like your alien, Luke?

Medium rare, thanks.

What the hell is going on down here?

I know who you are!

And I know what you're doing,

and you will never get away with this!

You're the one with the reputation, pal.

- Meltdown man.

-No.

- Peeping Tom from around the way.

-No.

We are just trying to have

some good clean fun.

- Right, sister?

-That's right, Vikki.

Where are the rest of you?

Where's Constance?

- She's with Roger.

-Oh, sh*t!

Are you sure that you're ready for this?

- Definitely.

-Okay.

It's getting cold in there.

But it's getting nice.

Come to Papa.

That was something.

You were unbelievable.

I'm finally in the club?

It's a very unique club, but in the club.

- How long until...

-Three days.

Back off, b*tch.

- Back off!

-Luke, it's cool, buddy.

Come on. Everybody's happy

when they're getting laid, man.

- What did you do to him?

-Nothing.

Look, we made love.

I really think

everything is gonna be okay this time.

Bullshit! Rodge, you okay?

- Oh, no.

-God. Rodge?

Don't even think about it.

Okay, buddy, hold on.

You're gonna be okay.

Holy sh*t, this hurts!

Luke, do you have that thing that...

Alex, call 911.

Call 911!

I am so sorry!

Oh, my God!

I love him.

Why don't you suck on this?

- We're almost there, buddy.

-What you done this time, Callahan?

- Hang on. Stay with me, okay?

-Okay.

- Family members only, kid.

-I am his family.

God, my legs are cold.

Here.

How's that?

Okay, just breathe, bro. Just breathe.

- Sirens. That's cool.

-Just like in the movies.

It'll be all right.

- Pumping and humping, huh, man?

-Right.

- I love you, Rodge.

-I believe you, man.

- No, Rodge.

-He's in V-tach! We gotta move!

Roger, you stay with me!

- Please don't leave me.

-Clear.

- Stay!

-Clear!

Please don't go!

He's gone.

Did you want to be alone?

I am alone.

Yo, Gibby, it's Luke.

Where the hell are you, man?

Some serious sh*t has gone down, okay?

I gotta talk to you as soon as possible.

Call me back on my cell.

- He's dead.

-What?

- I'm sorry.

-Let me take a wild-ass guess!

Frozen?

They clawed their way

out of Roger, Amanda.

Out of his freaking throat.

They're spreading like a goddamn sickness!

I want to help.

Well, it's better late than never.

Thank you, Melody.

This is off the hook.

We have come from great distances...

and have met challenges

that have tested each of us.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes