Deidra & Laney Rob a Train Page #2

Laney, what's wrong?

I went from being nothing in school

- to a nothing with a crazy mom.

- Hey, that's not true.

Soon, people are gonna remember

how wonderful you are. I promise.

Like, how you come

to these meetings with me

- even though I know you hate it.

- Yeah. I hate it.

Oh, wait. Sorry, hold on.

Goddamn it, Cheryl!

Sometimes I wish

my mom would go to jail.

Okay, ladies.

The time has come. We have four finalists.

Ahem.

Number one... can I have a drum roll,

please? Just kidding, no drum roll.

Katie Lynn!

Number two... Darlene.

Our third contestant is...

Claire.

And the final contestant is...

Laney Tanner.

Which is yay, right?

And for the rest of you

who did not make it,

I still expect you to sell ten tickets

to the pageant.

And then maybe,

you'll have better luck next year.

For those of you who are seniors...

I'm sorry. It's over for you.

I didn't see you leave.

Congrats on making finalist.

Of course, I knew you would.

But... I mean,

we all know I'm the surprise.

Um...

This is cool, right?

Laney, you were supposed to be there

and support me through all of this.

- I just sat there.

- And now what,

we're gonna compete

against each other? God!

You're crazy.

You're about as crazy as your weird mom,

if you think this is ever

gonna be cool, okay?

Look, as long as there's food

and you or another adult in the house,

we're gonna get along.

- Great.

- But...

if there is no food and no adult,

your siblings are gone.

Chief Manuelito, Treaty of 1868.

Thank you.

It's true, true, false.

- Good.

- Thanks.

It's "HK" not "KH."

It's nosotros somos.

Thank you.

You don't wanna sell weed.

You broke up with me for selling.

No, I broke up with you

because you have no ambition, but...

I need a chunk of money, fast.

- Yeah, well, I don't sell anymore.

- Come on, you support yourself here?

- Hey, I do stuff.

- Really?

I'm an entrepreneur.

Oh, that's fancy.

If you're hurting so bad,

why don't you apply for food stamps

- like a normal person?

- Well, food stamps

aren't gonna get me into college.

And I already tried to apply.

Turns out my dad used to sell them outside

of the Piggly Wiggly

when I was a kid.

Now the Tanners can't get them.

Whoa.

- What?

- You got a dad?

Why are you begging me?

Hit up the old man.

I'm... I'm not gonna... no.

Killer boots, Kid Blammo.

I should get me some boots like that.

They would look good on me.

Oop, oop. Watch them nuts.

- Sweet pea?

- Hi.

- What are you...

- Dad.

Uh, hey, come inside.

- Do you want some...

- No.

Oh! And, uh, hold on.

I got something for you.

Maybe a five in there.

Maybe even be a couple.

So I mean, no child support

since Jet was born,

and... you only saved $13.

Yeah, but it's cash.

It's not about the mo...

Look, I'm the best dad

when it comes to moral support.

- What?

- I am always there when you need me,

- gone when you don't.

- Yeah, well, we can't eat moral support.

- Do you still have that truck?

- Oh, yeah.

- Yeah? Could you sell it?

- What? Sell my truck?

- Why?

- Well... No.

- It won't be enough money anyway.

- How would I get to work?

- This was a dumb idea. I'm gonna go.

- How would I get...

Wait, wait! No, sweet pea, don't go!

I don't ever get to see you.

Come here! What...

Do you wanna see your old man on TV?

- No, I don't.

- Yeah, no, come look at this.

I was on TV. They made a video file

that fits on my phone.

- No.

- No, you gotta see this. Real quick.

So I was filling a slot in Salt Lake,

and they came to do an interview.

Wasn't me, but it was of this...

We're here at the Pacific

Western Rail train yard

where more than $3 million

of merchandise has...

- There I am.

- Disappeared over the last couple months.

Look who's part of the newscast.

Your old man. There he is.

Thank you for doing this.

Mr. Truman, let's start with...

- Detective Truman.

- Detective Truman. Excuse me.

- Let's talk about what...

- Oh, there he goes.

- Wait, so people still rob trains?

- Oh, yeah.

They do it all the time. It's easy.

But not that I've personally...

See, the companies,

they pay for insurance,

then the insurance

just reimburses the companies.

And then we as the consumers,

we pay, like, a 10% markup

on everything anyway.

It covers the theft, so...

So no new information

about what was stolen?

Well, rail police?

Like... police, police?

That's what they call themselves.

They're just there to cover the company's

ass. It's corporate bullshit.

Yeah, and the whole yard got sacked

in New Orleans.

So Abe's gonna transfer down there

to fill a slot,

which opens up a slot for head mechanic.

Guess who's gonna slide in there.

- Thanks.

- I've gotta go.

What? Wait, why?

I'm gonna be head mechanic, babe!

A pageant?

I only joined because Claire told me

to come with her.

- I'm sorry, Claire?

- She's... she's my only friend after...

You have friends?

- Nothing good ever happens to me.

- Hey, no. Laney bug.

- You won that Geography Bee, remember?

- That was Deidra.

Yes, it was Deidra, wasn't it?

Um...

Hey, did I ever tell you

that I was Teen Miss Idaho?

Oh, yeah.

Right when I was your age.

I had a crown and a sash

and a dress and the whole thing.

I felt so special.

I even got to audition for Teen Life.

- Oh. What's that?

- Teen Life, the TV show.

It was the reality show of the '90s.

Every teenager in the world wanted

to be on it

and the producers, they loved me.

They said that I was spunky.

What? You didn't do it?

No, no, couldn't do it.

I got pregnant with your sister.

Thought I could reach

for something more, but...

- "More" is not for us.

- No, baby, I don't think it is.

Okay, uh, we should go.

- Come on. We gotta go.

- Huh?

- Laney bug?

- Bye, Mama.

Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.

Sorry, buddy, it's not much.

We're out of food, and the power's out.

- I'll add it to my list.

- Where were you?

I, uh, went to see Chet.

I went to see Mom.

Remember, um...

Remember when Chet used

to let us ride the trains?

Yeah. Stupid.

I got finalist

for the Teen Miss Idaho pageant.

I'm gonna rob the train.

- Well, why did I think you'd care?

- I'm not joking.

I mean, forget school, glitter bunny.

Do you know what's going on here?

Yeah. Mom's in jail,

and you're talking about train robbing.

No, I'm about to give up going to college

so that I can get a full-time job

to support you and Jet.

And even then, I might not make enough.

What about savings?

Mom said everything would work out.

Look how we live.

Does it seem like things work out for Mom?

What if we lose the house?

What if CPS lady comes back

and the power's still out?

You and Jet would go to foster care.

We would only need a little over 11,000.

I mean, that would cover the bills,

Mom's bail.

She could go back to work,

and our lives would go back to normal.

You said it. We used to ride the trains

when we were kids.

No way. Wait, what?

- I tried it myself and it didn't...

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