Deidra & Laney Rob a Train Page #6

Detective Truman. Excuse me.

Let's talk about what was...

I, I am unpredictable

I, I'm up to no good

You, you think I'm incredible

Incredible, yeah

Don't matter what you do

I'mma do my own thing

Don't matter what you say

I'mma stay awake

Don't matter what you think

I'mma pave my own way

Yeah, you know that today my day

I'mma write my own

This is so cool.

Whoo!

You got enough for your mom?

More than enough. Thank you.

You know sometimes,

and I'm not saying this to dig at you,

but you act like you're too good for us.

- You're fricking shady gangsters.

- Shady?

- Yeah.

- What do you think we do?

G's auntie taught us how

to sell your crap on eBay.

We use my grandma's attic for storage.

Dee, you showed up here all judgmental,

so I started spewing

that entrepreneur crap.

I didn't think you'd actually bring

boxes of junk.

So you wouldn't have done this

if not for me?

Yeah.

So don't act like

this is some hostage situation.

- I'm not acting like it's a hostage...

- Go to college. Have a life.

Anyway, did I tell you guys

about Carl?

Oh, man, so on the day I'm supposed

to get promoted...

I'm so sorry

I pulled you into this.

I'm sorry I let you.

Um...

I gotta go.

I'm sorry.

So that guy's definitely

gonna kick that guy's butt.

Whoa-ho-ho!

Well, that's a big hunk of change.

Where you headed, sweet pea?

To the bond company to bail Mom out.

I want you gone when I get back.

I thought I was gonna help you

hit that mint car.

No.

Wha... When did you...

I'm gonna grab another cold beer.

You want one?

No. I'm good.

So who's beating who?

- Uncle Dennis.

- Hey, Gloria.

There she is, the woman of my dreams.

Don't sweet-talk me.

Why didn't you tell me

you were their father? Chet Tanner.

- Yeah. That's my Christian name.

- Oh, honey, you're no Christian.

Oh. Uh, I, uh...

Where's his real guardian?

Oh, Dee. Yeah. She's...

She's right over here.

Let me go get her. Hey, come on.

Let's go find your sister.

I think she's making, uh...

She's making toaster strudels.

Damn it!

I thought he was the one.

I paid your bail.

They'll release you in the morning.

Just prepare for the trial because

I went through so much to get you out.

Oh, baby, what did you do?

No. This family just ruins each other,

all right?

- Stop.

- No.

Stop!

Deidra Josephine Tanner,

turn your ass around and set it down.

I never, never meant

to say that you ruined my life.

Baby, I'm in here 'cause I ruined yours.

Honey, some people...

A lot of people, they said that I...

I lost my one big shot.

But not me. Mnh-mnh.

I didn't regret having you,

not for one minute, not for one second.

And that's why I saved every single dime

from my Teen Miss Idaho grand prize,

$10,000.

And I put it in a savings account for you,

for college.

And no matter what happened,

every single week, I added to it.

Hey, I got two more in the car.

And try to believe

I got caught up in a daze

Of the wine and roses

Such a sweet escape

But I watched it all slip away

Like running water from my hands

Raining on this picture land

The fallen empires, the shattered glass

The wicked echoes of my past

I've seen it all before...

Will you still be here tomorrow?

Or will you leave in the dead

of the night?

So your waves don't crash around me

I'm staying one step ahead of the tide

The bills

from the crash piled up.

I was spread too thin,

and I lost everything.

Or will you leave in the dead

of the night?

So your waves don't crash around me

I'm staying one step ahead of the tide

Will you leave me lost in my shadows?

Or will you pull me into your light?

Teach me how to be loved

See, honey,

not doing better for me.

That didn't matter.

But not doing better for you?

That's what hurt.

Mom.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Come here.

Hey, buddy.

What is that? Is that Deidra?

- What's going on?

- Didn't I tell you?

- No.

- I finally cracked my case.

Hello.

Funa, thank God. Listen, I need to know

where the Tanner girls are.

I hate to tell you this,

but they might be train robbers.

- I know. Thank God you know.

- Okay. So where are they?

Okay, uh, they are...

They're at the pageant.

Oh, sh*t. Oh, sh*t. Oh, sh*t.

Hey, you.

- Hi.

- Are you ready?

Uh... yeah.

- I think so.

- I am so proud of how far you've come.

I took this little shadow of a girl,

and I turned you into a princess.

You are a princess

who shines brighter than the sun.

You're a princess star.

I want to hear you say it.

Say it? I am a princess star.

Hey, you got this.

- You can win this whole thing.

- Okay.

What are you waiting for?

Get out there.

Oh, I... Uh, okay. Thank...

Hey. Watch...

Ladies and gentlemen, she's gonna make

a great governor one day.

Thank you so much.

And, ladies, thank you

for being in this part of the show.

We'll be seeing you

a little bit later. Thank you.

And we're introducing the next group of

our contestants coming out on the stage.

These lovely ladies

will be taking some tough questions.

And contestant number one.

Why did you join this pageant?

Hey, um...

Don't move until your sister comes

to get you, okay?

- Where are you going?

- Uh, just gotta go outside for some air.

Can I go with you?

No. I wish you could.

But, no.

I gotta get "Dad" air outside on my own.

- You can take Kid Blammo.

- What?

Look, can you tell your sisters

that I said, "Hey"?

Excuse me.

I was Teen Miss Idaho.

Well, 4th runner up, 1997.

Hello? Hello, sir? Can I help you?

I'm good, sweetheart.

I'm sorry. Sir, you cannot go back there.

Sir, please stop.

Deidra.

Listen, Truman knows about the trains.

I know, but I've gotta get to Laney.

Thank you for joining us.

Contestant number one,

are you ready for your question?

Thank you.

If you could meet any person,

living or dead,

who would you choose and why?

Miss Tanner?

Mary Tyler Moore,

because she's done so much

to bring modern women to the media,

and she's the reason I want

to be an actress.

No. That's my answer.

You ruined my dress,

and you ruined my life!

You think your life is hard?

You have no f***ing clue!

Laney!

Okay, simmer down.

All right, tadpole. That's enough.

- You're coming with me.

- Okay, okay.

This will only hurt a little.

What are you doing?

Get off of me! Let go!

Get your hands off my student!

This so-called student

is now under my jurisdiction.

There's no need to grab her like that.

- Hi, Carlos.

- Hey, buddy. Jet, what the hell, man?

Come with me, man. God.

Clear a path. Clear a path.

Do you feel that I can see your soul?

Do you feel it, do you feel it?

Do you feel the beat in your heart?

I want it, I want it real

Run away with me now

I want it, I want it real

Run away with me now

Stop, what are you looking at me

like that for?

Look, what you don't understand

is I'm the best dad in the world

when I'm not there.

No. I'm there when they need me.

I'm gone when they don't.

Okay, so you can stop looking

at me like that.

- Yeah. You got Chet.

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