Deidra & Laney Rob a Train Page #5

when my dealer ate the cake.

- Could you just stay? Come.

- Laney.

No.

I ain't got nowhere to go.

A cop?

Spencer told me on Monday,

but it's not a big deal.

Not a big deal?

- Our felon father is in the backyard.

- I will try to get rid of Chet.

- No. No.

- Okay?

- He knows. We have to stop.

- No, look, this is Chet, okay?

He will probably get bored

and go home tomorrow.

- We told you not to bring anyone.

- He promised he would be quiet.

We're still trying to move the backpacks.

- Backpacks?

- What?

What? No. What is this, Walmart?

- Chet, shut up.

- What's our cut?

- Forty percent.

- Forty percent, no.

- That's highway robbery.

- That's exactly what this is.

We need to make money too, all right?

I'm saving up for the culinary institute.

I like your style, but listen to this.

What if I can guarantee you

electronics, cosmetics...

I'm talking name brands.

- You can't do that.

- I can do that.

- No.

- Yep, I can.

- You give my girl 60% here.

- Sixty?

Sixty percent and you'll be graduating

from the French toast to the brioche.

- We can't do that.

- We can do that.

- Can you?

- No.

We can. Do we have a deal?

- Sixty percent.

- Sixty percent.

- Name brands.

- Name brands.

- Electronics.

- Electronics.

- You got a deal. Whoo!

- All right.

Hey!

- I did not need you to speak for me.

- Why?

I'll just log some hours

at the switching station.

That way, we know exactly

what's coming in.

Everything that we have right now,

I got myself.

- Without you or Mom.

- Of course you did.

But that's because of me, too.

Look, honey. We're the same chunks of DNA.

We run around

influencing each other's actions.

- Now I was a mess when you were little.

- Yeah.

That helped you to learn for yourself.

Are you seriously trying to take credit

for all of my hard work and success?

No. I'm just saying that...

you finally need my help

for something that I'm good at.

- I was thinking...

- Yeah?

- About the stickers.

- Stickers, yeah.

If you swipe the shipping manifest,

I could print new stickers

in the computer lab.

Yes! Yeah, see,

that is that Tanner ingenuity.

- Let's go!

- I don't have the keys.

Got 'em.

Look for the X.

Look for the... oh, there it is!

Go! Go, go, go.

- Yeah.

- Oh, my God.

None of the seals were broken.

Then why am I missing

three TVs and a case of cell phones?

You said you would have this

done in a week.

Yes, I know I did, but I cannot figure

this out snooping around a school

with a pacifist cop and a counselor

who clearly needs to be on medication.

- Please give me back my gun.

- Are you serious?

After what happened in Arizona?

You are lucky I let you

carry a flashlight.

Yes, I know. I got the memo.

Goldie...

You look ten years younger

and 20 years finer.

If the table wasn't here,

I'd put another baby in you.

What are you doing living with my kids?

Our kids.

'Cause I'm the best dad in the world.

I'm there when you need me,

I'm gone when you don't.

- We don't. They don't.

- Listen.

There's a big debt. It's still there.

And only you can fix that debt.

Only you can heal that debt,

from the heart.

So...

Why am I so attracted to you?

- And I wonder why...

- Can I just...

- Your nails look nice.

- Thank you. They do 'em in here.

- Can I just...

- They did a good job.

- Chet.

- Yeah?

- I hate you so much.

- I hate you too.

- I hate you so much.

- I hate you more.

I hate you so much, Chet.

- Guard! Guard!

- Hey! Hey!

Okay, that's it!

- Break it up! Break it up!

- Get the spot, baby.

- Phyllis! Phyllis!

- Yeah, I got it.

- Oh, my God. Chet.

- You both get off!

Okay, okay.

- Okay, okay.

- Okay, okay!

Come on, baby! Come on! Okay!

- No! She's coming with me!

- Just one more, just one more.

- She's coming with me!

- We're going in the hall.

Overnight, this operation

has gone from erratic

to the most sophisticated I've seen

in my career.

So our investigation has to evolve.

I'm gonna start interviewing students.

Anyone who lives within

a five-mile perimeter of that train yard

gets interviewed by me.

We are so screwed.

We're gonna be so rich.

I'm confused.

The Federal Mint.

The Federal Mint has a car?

- Like, to ship money?

- Yeah.

But it's rare, and guys like me

never know which train it's in.

- This is a great opportunity.

- That's the night of my pageant.

- Laney! Do you care about this at all?

- Yeah.

I mean, train dude is bringing us in

for questioning tomorrow.

- I know.

- Are you ready for that?

Yeah, what are you gonna say

when train dude starts questioning you?

- Um...

- What are you gonna do, Laney?

Um...

No. Cops see "ums" as confessions. No ums.

Eye contact or jail? Answers or jail?

- Well?

- I don't know.

Would you stop being a baby?

Ohh...

What is your problem, glitter bunny?

Chet's supposed to leave, right? No.

He stays. And the Federal Mint car.

This is too much. This is like real crap!

Shut up! You rob trains, too,

so you need to stop whining.

Stop it!

I knew there was money missing.

What the hell? What is this?

Keep your voice down.

- You... you're taking money?

- Yeah.

This is supposed to be going towards

getting Mom home!

You know what?

We don't have to stop at Mom's bail.

I can make enough money

so that I can go to college,

- I can pay for my first semester.

- That wasn't the plan.

- This is my plan.

- Of course.

- Why can't you see the bigger picture?

- Because I'm not you!

Yeah. You are, all right?

You're a Tanner, too.

We're all part

of the same shitty chunks of DNA!

Fine.

It says here that your home is

in close proximity

to the Pacific Western railroad

train yard, is that correct?

Yeah. But, uh, I don't like trains. So...

They're loud and dangerous.

One time this really gross hobo hit on me

at the Tiger Mart.

I think he hopped trains.

You got a problem with a second year

senior? I got perfect attendance.

Chelsea Rich has this new iPhone,

but everyone knows her dad was fired

from the Hershey's factory.

So people said

she blew Nicholas Burtleson for it.

But Nicholas doesn't have a job.

So where did he get it?

- Wait a second. You're the valedictorian?

- I will be, in May.

Why are we interviewing the valedictorian?

What's next, the frigging glee club?

Your list, man.

- So, what did he ask you?

- Nothing, really.

- Nothing?

- No. Nothing.

Laney!

- I'm sorry. I've gotta go.

- Deidra. Deidra!

- Ms. Spencer! Look at my dress!

- I see it.

- Who did this?

- I don't know.

It's ruined.

STDs.

STDs.

Hey, there.

I like your toys.

- Deidra!

- Jet!

It's just a photograph. We're all good.

Valedictorian.

- Hey, are you okay?

- Yeah.

- Yeah? Did he ask you anything?

- No.

- No? He didn't ask you about trains?

- No.

Joining me now to talk about this

is Detective Vick Truman.

He is with the Pacific Western

Rail Police. Thank you for joining us.

- Mr. Truman, let's start with...

- Detective Truman.

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