Demoted Page #4

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J' You had me figured,

yeah, you knew J'

J' I'm the kind of boy

to go crazy for you... J'

Let's face it--

Castro's got us by the balls.

That's true.

Oh, sh*t.

It's Jennifer's dad

and his teen bride.

I know, I know.

I'm gonna get you one.

- Encore.

- Yes, sir.

Mr. Daniels,

looking dapper as usual.

Rodney, at the bar as usual.

Hi, cutie.

- How are you doing?

- Good.

Good.

You're looking good,

really good.

Stop eye-f***ing

my wife, son.

- ( Wife chuckles) Oh, J.R.

- Sure.

What the hell

is the matter with you?

Good to see you,

Mr. Daniels.

Wow.

What a prick.

Are you absolutely certain

you want to marry into that?

After all the sh*t

that's gone down,

J.R.'s just the start

of my problems.

What about you?

You're just as screwed as I am.

- You still live with your parents.

- I do not live with my parents.

I live in an apartment

which they happen to live above.

- You live in their basement.

- It's not their basement, okay?

It's my basement--

a subterranean loft.

Rodney.

Mr. Daniels.

You know, Rodney,

I didn't come in here

because I needed to take a whiz.

- You didn't?

- No, I didn't.

I thought it was time

I had a little chitchat

with my future son-in-law.

Oh, you mind giving me a little

second to finish up here?

Look at me, Rodney.

Sir, I'd really rather not.

You've got your thing going on

over there. I've got my thing--

I said look at me.

Jesus.

- Look at it.

- What?

I said look at it.

I said-- don't you dare

look me in the eyes.

Look at it.

Don't-- don't you look me

in the eyes, I said.

- Look at it.

- This is crazy.

You want to see crazy, son?

Look-- look at it--

- Okay, okay.

- --with both eyes, both eyes.

Now don't you look up.

Don't you even think about looking up.

That's it.

You keep staring at it.

You want to be a real man?

You start by studying

a real man.

That's right.

Take it all in.

Pretty impressive, huh?

You know the sad part, son?

You're smart enough

to be running that place.

But what have you done there,

at that little tire company?

( Muttering )

Last summer,

they were thinking about

giving me my own

parking space.

Just like I thought.

You haven't done sh*t

and you never will.

Oh, and, Rodney,

I just got you

to stare at my penis.

( laughing )

Unbelievable.

Where have you been?

I was in the bathroom having

a heart-to-heart with your father.

- Oh, really?

- Yeah, yeah. No, we talked.

He threatened me, made me stare

at his penis the whole time--

you know, typical future son-in-law,

father-in-law kind of stuff.

Okay, honey,

what's wrong with you?

You're acting weird.

You're sweating. You're pale.

Are you sick?

No, no, I'm not sick.

I'm just stressed out

with work--

stupid work stuff, okay?

I've been meaning to tell you.

It's just not the right place

to tell you--

- right here, you know?

- What?

Look, something big

went down at work.

Okay '

Why don't you share your big

work news with everybody, Rodney?

Oh, no, that's all right, J.R.

No one wants to hear about that stuff.

Sure, they do-- I mean, especially

if it's about your parking spot.

No, it's all right.

Really, no one wants to hear--

- No, no, no, no.

- ( glass clinks)

Attention, everyone.

Apparently Rodney has

some very big work news

he'd like to share with all of us.

No, no, really, J.R.

It's really not-- it's so boring.

You don't want to hear about it.

Party on.

Baby, it's okay.

We're all family here.

What is it?

Yeah, family, Rodney.

- I got a promotion.

- Oh, honey.

- Yes.

- That's great.

I'm so happy for you.

Why didn't you tell me?

Oh, I wanted to surprise you,

you know?

- Jennifer:
Oh, God.

- Oh, sh*t.

-( Beeps )

- Radio D.J.:
It's Monday. Wake up--

J' When your feet hit the street,

does your heart start to sink J'

J' Knowing all

that you've been in? J'

( blows horn )

Mike, come on.

J' When the high starts to fade J'

J' If the boys want to die,

you let 'em... J'

That's it!

You are a terrible secretary.

You know that.

I know that.

Next thing you know, you're gonna be

cleaning out the f***ing shitter.

J' When you're staring

out the front J'

J' You might die young... J'

( line beeping )

Jesus.

Help. Help.

Listen, I'm gonna tell you one thing:

You don't know how to type.

You don't know how to fax.

I'll tell you why you can't do it later.

'Cause there ain't gonna be

a f***ing later.

You're a sorry

piece of sh*t.

J' We're out on the other side

tonight J'

J' Standing on the edge

and sleeping on tracks J'

J' Falling off the ledge,

slipping through cracks J'

J' Another night,

another night J'

J' Out on the other side... J'

( men lau Qh' om mg )

Ow. My balls hurt

from spilling coffee--

third-degree burns.

Well, at least your hands

aren't covered in paper cuts

from filing all day.

Oh, my God, those are nasty.

You should get that checked out.

Rough week, girls?

See you Monday.

We can't keep going on

like this.

There's got to be

a better way.

No.

Yes.

- No.

- Yes.

It's our only shot.

Let's go.

F***.

- He's sensitive.

- He's not.

Hey, guys.

We're here for the book club.

Jane invited us.

I did,

but that was

before Mike said

that he likes

to go to bars with--

I don't know.

What was it?

Half-naked women

swinging on poles?

Oh, no, he didn't.

Ain't no half-naked women

swinging around on no poles here.

Mm-mm.

A couple more of these, and I can

make that happen for you, Betty.

( laughs )

- You know I will.

- Save it.

We just wanted to say

that we realize

that we've treated you

pretty shitty over these years.

- Oh, pretty shitty?

- Okay, fine. Very shitty.

- And we're really sorry for that.

- Yeah.

We had no idea how hard yourjobs

were until this week.

Castro is making our lives

a living hell.

We suck as secretaries.

I mean, look at this guy's hands.

Look at these paper cuts.

We just really are

at the point

that we'd love to have

a little bit of your help, please.

They look infected.

What do you think, Jane?

Well, maybe we could help.

What's in it for us?

An-- anything you want.

- What-- what can we help you with?

- Yeah, what've you got?

I don't want to hear it.

I'm serious.

I'm really upset right now.

Oh, come on, the secretary league

has some good players.

Don't even.

This is some "League of Their Own"

bullshit, and you know it.

See "All My Children" yesterday?

Come on, pretty girl, right here.

Tina, come on--

Have they even won a game?

No, I don't think so.

Well, let's get this over with.

(sighs )

( game playing on TV)

Oh, hi, honey.

- L-ley-

- HEY-

What are you doing

home so early?

I thought tonight was softball.

Yeah, it was. I just didn't feel

like going after, that's all.

- Oh, that's a first.

- Yeah.

Oh, let me get this.

Give me your uniform.

Oh, no, I got these.

They're just covered in mud

You don't want to touch them.

What's all this?

Oh, sample wedding invitations.

I think I have narrowed it down

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