Designing Woman Page #3

on your hands with Mart Daylor.

- What's his beef?.

- Your column, March 16, this year.

"The great Martin Daylor, calling himself a

fight promoter is promoting mostly Daylor.

"He has a string on every fighter

and manager in New York.

"Nobody fights without his permission

and without paying his cut.

"I suggest that Mr. Daylor retire

to his palatiaI farm in Bucks County...

"... before an irate sports world retires him

forcibly to the crooked boys' bin. "

What are you bucking for, a quick funeraI?

This isn't the roaring '20s. People don't-

- Daylor would like that.

- Take a murder rap? He's too smart.

Who mentioned murder?

All that would happen is,

you're walking along Third Avenue...

...a truck jumps the curb.

An accident, nobody's fault in the world.

But you're cooling off on the pavement,

so you can't be sure.

All right.

What do you want me to do?

- Print a retraction?

- I don't care what you do.

What am I, a sentimentaI slob?

Do what you want.

Just make sure your by-line

doesn't appear in the obit column.

Okay, Ned.

Wait.

Here.

From Nora and me. A wedding present.

- From Nora and-

- Well, from Nora.

You liked it at the house,

she thought you could use it.

I didn't have time to put paper.

Get it wrapped and send the bill to me.

Ned.

- I can't tell-

- No speeches.

Come on, get it out of here, it's in my way.

Phone calls for Mr. MichaeI Hagen.

Mart Daylor.

Mart Daylor.

Mart Daylor.

Mart Daylor.

Lori Shannon.

Lori Shannon.

I hadn't thought of her once in eight days.

When I did now, it didn't feel so good.

I was speaking of Lori Shannon...

...the girI you are probably worried about.

However, since you've retired

from the field...

...you might inform Miss Shannon

of a handsome, young newspaperman...

...who would be very,

very happy to substitute at any-

Very funny.

Very funny.

11:
00 a. m.

She was probably still at her TV rehearsal.

"There'll be a change in the weather

"and a change in the sea

"From now on there'll be a change in me

"My walk will be different

"my talk and my name

"Nothing about me's goin' be the same

"I'm gonna change my way of living

"If that ain't enough

"Then I'll change the way I

"strut my stuff

"Because nobody wants you

when you're old and gray

"There'll be some changes made today

"There'll be some changes made"

He arrived about noon,

my Lochinvar from out of the west.

Come to tell me about his marriage.

He stood there,

like he was awaiting his execution.

He was nice and tan

after his California vacation.

Healthy-looking, too.

Of course, he'd only been married

for a day and a half.

"Nobody

"wants you when you're old and gray

"There'll be some changes made today

"There'll be some changes made"

- Hello, Mike.

- Hello, Lori.

- How have you been?

- Quite well.

- How are you?

- I've been quite well.

- You look well.

- I feeI...

- Where are we going, on a picnic?

- No. This is a...

My boss, Ned Hammerstein...

- Look, how about lunch?

- I'd love it.

It'll just take me a minute

to change clothes.

We went to Andrucci's, our old hangout.

And we ordered our old favorite.

Ravioli Andrucci.

He hadn't gotten around

to confessing his marriage...

...and was making a botch

of the small talk.

...when I walked into the office.

Everyone...

Ned is the same Simon Legree...

He was so pathetic, I had to help him out.

- Look, I've got something to tell you.

- Let me tell you, Mike.

You found a girI.

The most wonderfuI girI in the world.

The kind of girI

you just couldn't live without...

...and you married her. That's all.

- I knew you'd understand.

- Why shouldn't I?

There's no point in making a federaI case

out of something that couldn't be helped.

I'd have probably done the same thing

myself, if I'd found the right man.

I thought because I didn't send...

He was as grateful as a St. Bernard,

and I felt generous...

...and warm-hearted inside.

It was a good scene.

But then I made a mistake.

I asked him to tell me about her.

And he made a bigger mistake.

He told me.

She's not like anyone else I know...

I heard all about her eyes,

and her hair, and her figure...

...and the way she walked.

I heard all about her fine sense of humor

and her clothes...

...and the cute way she had

of tilting her head when she laughed.

...tossing her head when she laughs,

sort of like a pony.

After a while, I knew her like a sister.

Anyway, I'm so glad that you understand.

Why shouldn't I?

Well, I guess I'd better be getting back

to rehearsaI.

- You don't mind if I don't get up?

- Please don't.

- Mr. Hagen, you didn't get your lunch.

- Yeah, I got it.

- Why haven't you served Mr. Hagen?

- But I brought it.

- Where is it?

- I don't know.

Bring him another.

- Would you like to have something else?

- No. That'll be plenty.

Just get me a check and a pair of pants.

A pair of pants?

Look, don't make a fuss.

Borrow me a pair of pants from somebody.

No fuss.

- How did it happen?

- A lady did it.

- Borrow the pants.

- Yes, sir.

- Are you sure? I'm Mr. Hagen's wife.

- I still don't think he's here.

Yes, he is. I just remembered.

- This way, please.

- Thank you.

He's right over there.

Well, what a small world.

You don't mind if I don't get up?

- Shy about kissing in public?

- No.

Your office told me you might be here

and I wanted to see you anyway.

Big news:
I've got everything moved.

Zach Wilde sent over a car

and the janitor carried your bags down.

That's fine. I'm glad.

I got a pair of pants for you

in the men's room.

I'd have sworn you had pants on

when you left.

What's that?

That? That's ravioli.

Of course. I should have recognized it.

Didn't you care for it?

Yes, it's very good here.

It certainly doesn't go with gray.

It's the busboy's pants. Green ones.

I'm going into the men's room now

and change into the busboy's green pants.

And then we'll go up to my place

and pick up a suit.

You haven't been listening.

Your clothes are at my place.

Yes. Fine.

- You shouldn't have done it.

- I'm sorry.

I'd have wagered a Lily Dach hat

there'd been another woman at that table.

But I wasn't going to ruin my second day

of marriage with petty jealousies.

For some reason, I'd pictured Marilla

living in a one-room kitchenette...

...with a girlfriend who studied music.

This place even had an outside flunky.

Very refined.

Here we are.

He tried not to notice my pants,

and I tried not to notice his.

Well? Say something.

Chic.

Chic.

That's a word I've never used before,

but now I know what it means.

Miss Brown. Congratulations, Miss Brown.

Mrs. Hagen, Gwen. And this is Mr. Hagen.

- Mr. Hagen, it's certainly a pleasure.

- How do you do?

Don't worry about his pants, Gwen.

He borrowed them.

Of course he did. Wouldn't you know?

- Get these to the cleaners, will you?

- Sure.

Be carefuI. You might find some ravioli

in the pockets.

And here.

Put this in a place of honor.

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