Desk Set Page #7

- Happy New Year! The cups, the cups.

- Come on, Fred, hurry up.

- Go ahead. I'll join you down there.

Right.

I'm expecting Miss Warriner

from my lab.

She'll be asking for me. Will you send

her over to Reference when she comes?

Yes, Mr. Sumner.

I'll be glad to.

You ought to drink

a little something for those hiccups.

Thank you, sir.

I will.

Hey, wait a minute. I may need that.

Reference. Miss Watson.

Merry Christmas. Oh, yes. Indeed, I can.

- Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen...

- Oh, no!

Donder and Blitzen.

No. It's a pleasure.

Give me my bottle, quick.

What do you suppose it'll be like here

next Christmas when we're gone?

Do you think EMMARAC

will throw a party?

Don't talk that way.

It's bad luck. It's Christmas!

It's Christmas.

If we do get canned, we won't be

the only ones to lose our jobs...

because of a machine.

I understand thousands of people

are being replaced by electronic brains.

Hey! Look, this one's

from Mildred Pittinger.

- She had your job, Ruthie.

- I know what it is.

It's a picture of herself

and her husband.

- Ooh!

- Oh!

- They had a baby!

- Oh, it's cute.

- All babies are cute.

- Let's drink to Mildred's baby.

- Mildred's baby!

- Merry Christmas, ladies.

Merry Christmas.!

Yeah, it is my great pleasure

to inform you...

that the party over in Legal has started

and that you're all invited.

Let's go!

I love Legal. It's all men.

- Shall we?

- I'll take my champagne.

They won't have any in Legal.

# Dashing through the snow

In a one-horse open sleigh #

# O'er the fields we go

Laughing all the way #

# Bells on bob-tail ring ##

# Bells on bob-tail ring ##

Hello?

Uh, Santa Claus's reindeer?

Uh, uh, why, yes, I can.

Uh, uh, let me see, now,

there's Dopey, Sneezy,

Grouchy, Happy, Sleepy,

uh, Rudolph and Blitzen.

You're welcome.

Oh... Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

I was in earlier asking for you,

but you were late this morning.

I know, but it's all right.

I brought a note from my mother.

Nothing very much gets done

around here today, does it?

Oh, well, we never work here anyway.

This is our playpen.

But if you're planning to work,

the budget is over there on the desk.

- Ruthie finished it.

- Thank you.

You're welcome.

If you're gonna read our budget,

why don't you let us read your report?

My report?

Oh, I've already sent that in.

- Oh, have you?

- Uh-huh.

Oh, there you are.

I was looking all over for you.

I came in here

to find something.

Oh, I remember what...

my other bottle of champagne.

If you take that champagne to Legal,

you won't even get another swallow.

That's right.

Maybe I'd better drink it right here.

- Join me, Peg?

- Certainly.

How does champagne go with Four Roses,

scotch, Martinis and Bloody Marys?

Oh, fine. They're all

the same base... alcohol.

Pull up a chair, Peg,

and rest your hands and face.

What year is that? "1947."

It was a good year.

Not for me, it wasn't.

It was the year of the blizzard...

remember?

I spent Christmas Eve

in a subway station at Canal Street.

Aw. Hey, you know,

that reminds me.

Just as I was getting off

the Mexican Avenue bus last night...

What's so funny?

The Mexican Avenue bus.

You mean the "Mexington" Avenue bus,

don't you?

Ha! So I do!

And here was this

brand-new Coupe de Ville...

with the most attractive-looking

gray-haired man in it.

And he slowly drove around

the block three times,

and I could tell by the way

he was looking at me...

that if I had been

any other kind of a girl,

it would have been the start

of a very beautiful romance.

More power to you.

You may be lonely,

but more power to you.

It has usually been my experience...

when a car cruises

around the block slowly,

it has usually been my experience...

that they are mostly

just looking for a place to park.

Peg...

did you know that

our Mr. Sumner...

also lives on

the Mexican Avenue bus?

Oh, no.

Oh, Peg.

Peg, come...

Can't you just see him

standing there...

in his serape and bare feet,

holding on to the strap?

They're gone for the day.

- Have some tequila, Peg.

- I don't think I should.

There are 85 calories

in a glass of champagne.

Ohh. I have a little place in my

neighborhood where I can get it for 65.

Hey. EMMARAC.

Would you stop fussing that budget

for a minute and answer a question?

- Sure.

- Just for kicks.

You don't have to answer it

if you don't want to.

I mean, don't dwell on the question,

but I warn you there's a trick in it.

If six Chinamen get

off a train at Las Vegas,

and two of them are found

floating face down in a goldfish bowl,

and the only thing they can find to

identify them are 2 telephone numbers...

one, Plaza 0-0000,

and the other, Columbus 0-1492...

what time did the train

get to Palm Springs?

Now, would you mind telling me

how you happened to get that?

Well, there are 11 letters

in Palm Springs.

You take away two Chinamen,

that leaves nine.

You're a sketch, Mr. Sumner.

You're not so bad yourself.

- Would you like some champagne?

- Thank you.

Just fill it right up to top.

Fine. Thank you.

Now, drink it all down.

It's very good for you.

Oh, good. Now you can have

your Christmas present.

Here, from

the reference department to you.

Well, thanks.

Just a little something

we all thought you'd like.

It opens this way.

Well...

Those are your college colors,

aren't they?

Uh-huh. Well, if I had known that,

I would have worn my freshman cap.

- This is six feet long.

- Have you seen this, Peg?

Yes. Just handsome.

Good wool in that.

I really had to do

some stepping to find it.

There doesn't seem to be much demand

for that kind of thing.

- I don't know what to say.

- Just Merry Christmas is all.

Merry Christmas.

And peace on earth

to men of good will, too.

- Bunny!

- Mike!

Uh...

- When did you get back?

- Just got off the plane.

I told you I'd make it back

by Christmas. Hiya, Peg!

Hi! The party started early this year.

The gang's over in Legal.

We'll see you. These presents

are for the office. Here.

Ooh! Thank you.

I'll put them under the tree.

- Hello, Cutler.

- Merry Christmas, Sumner.

Merry Christmas to you, Cutler.

I like that hat.

I like that suit.

You should wear it more often.

Aren't you going to

introduce me to Harvey?

Oh, he's better

than Harvey. Watch.

Mike, that's wonderful.

Where did you find it? Come on in my

office. I want to give you your present.

Act surprised.

- Did you say something?

- Who, me?

Oh!

Good heavens and Earth.

Here.

Does, um, he hang around here

all the time?

- All the time.

- Mmm.

Aw, no. Not today.

- To us.

- To us.

- Ahh!

- Here's yours.

- Whew!

- Here's yours.

- It's smaller. Open yours first.

- Should I?

Oh...

Oh, Mike! The earrings!

Oh! They're so beautiful

with the ring.

- You like them?

- Oh, they're lovely!

- You like them?

- You are an angel. Oh, thank you.

I can't give you yours now.

It's just too silly.

As long as it's not a robe.

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