Desk Set Page #8

Well, it's as far away from a robe, Mike,

as I could possibly get.

Thank you.

Bongo drums!

How did you know?

There was a sign over them: "For the

man who has absolutely everything."

- Have I?

- Uh, has he?

- Bunny.

- Hmm?

I had a chance to do

some thinking in Chicago.

- Did you enjoy it?

- Well, let's face it.

The whole company's had us

married for seven years anyway.

Well, they succeeded where I failed.

Oh, go away.

- I'm sorry, Miss Watson.

- Oh, it's you.

I guess your phone is out of order.

I've been taking your calls.

There is someone called

"Take home the loot."

They would like to know

the name of Scrooge's partner,

uh, Scrooge's first name...

and how many brothers and sisters

did Tiny Tim have?

Oh, yes, and Azae's office has been

calling. They want you right away.

- When did they call?

- A few minutes ago.

Why didn't you... Oh, never mind.

Take that, will you?

- I'll see you later, Bunny. Dinner?

- Yes. Yes.

Good.

#Jingle bells, jingle bells #

#Jingle all the way #

# Oh, what fun it is to ride #

# In a one-horse open sleigh ##

# Oh, the beat-beat-beat

of the tom-tom #

#When the jungle shadows fall #

# Like the tick-tick-tock

of the stately clock #

#As it stands against the wall #

# Like the drip-drip-drip

of the raindrops #

#When the summer shower is through #

#And the voice within me

keeps repeating #

#You, you, you #

# Night and day

da-la-dum-da #

- Bon voyage!

- Good-bye. Good-bye!

Is this your first

Mediterranean cruise?

- Yes. But don't tell anybody.

- Why not?

- 'Cause I'm the captain.

- Oh.

Well, I'll help you steer.

I'm independently wealthy, you know.

I've made this cruise often.

Yes. Something about the way you wear

that pencil in your hair spells money.

Isn't money a lovely thing? I do hope

they don't take it away from us.

- Who?

- They.

Would you like to sit down?

My deck chair is right next to yours.

Oh, I'm glad because

I've forgotten where mine is.

- It's right here. Right here.

- Thank you, skipper.

Oh, my!

What lovely steamer rugs.

Tell me, skipper,

why have you never married?

Don't you like women?

Oh, yeah. Sure, sure. I like women,

specifically as a sex and specifically.

But not "pacifically"

enough to get married.

Oh, no, no.

That's not it at all.

I just never found anyone willing to put

up with me. Except Caroline, of course.

- Would you like more champagne?

- No. What about Caroline, of course?

- Caroline... Caroline was a model.

- Mm-hmm.

- 5'10" in her stockinged feet.

- You had occasion to measure her?

Among other things,

yes, yes.

If it hadn't been

for the war, l...

Uh-oh. You got

a "DearJohn" letter.

No, no, no,

I got dozens of letters, but, uh...

Imagine sitting on an ice cap

in Greenland...

and getting

a six-page letter telling me...

that the women's neckline was

going to go up the following year.

Now, if she'd told me that it was going

down, I might have had some reason to...

Then the next letter would be about

the hem skirt was going to be lower.

I don't exactly look like a fellow who's

interested in women's fashions, do I?

Not even in men's.

Well, what did you do?

I had a friend who was

rejected by the Marines.

He had housemaid's knee,

or something was wrong with him.

Anyway, so I asked him

to look her up,

and, you know, keep her

from being lonely, and he did.

And then I got the "DearJohn" letter.

That was a dirty trick.

What are you talking about?

They're very happily married.

If she never writes him a letter,

he'll never know the difference.

That's not why

you didn't marry Caroline.

The real reason is,

you're in love with someone else.

- No kidding?

- No kidding.

- Who?

- Emily EMMARAC, that's who.

That monster machine you created.

You're in love with her.

She's all you ever think about.

- That's why your socks never match.

- My sock...

My socks match today.

Look.

Why, so they do.

Sure, and they have matched for

some time. You just haven't noticed it.

Oh.

- More champagne?

- No.

- I'll bet you write wonderful letters.

- Bunny.!

Bunny.! You're wanted

on the telephone.!

You're wanted on the telephone.

- Reference. Miss Watson.

- Bunny? Cathy.

Flash:
Mike Cutler has just been made

a vice president. He's on his way down.

Who made him a vice president,

Cath, you?

I should say not.

Mr. Azae did.

- Didn't he?

- He certainly did.

Bunny.! Bunny.

- Come in, Mr. Vice President.

- Isn't it great?

- You deserve it, Mike.

- Oh, Bunny, I could just take off.

When Azae started to talk to me

seriously, I thought, "You've had it."

The way things have been

so mysterious around here.

Then it turned out to be

a vice presidency.

Vice President in charge of

all West Coast operations.

West Coast?

I've ordered two tickets.

We're finally going to take that plunge.

We leave Tuesday,

and be married on the coast.

This Tuesday?

- Sure. Why not?

- Well, for one thing, my apartment.

Peg can take care of that.

Giving away apartments nowadays

is like giving away diamonds.

Yeah, I know, but there's my job.

I can't just walk...

I'm a vice president. I transfer you

to the West Coast to take care of me.

- Anything else?

- What about the girls, Mike?

I can't leave them, not when

they're so worried about their jobs.

Sorry. I can't help you there. I don't

propose to take them on my honeymoon.

But they're all invited out to visit us

next summer when we have our own house.

Our own house! Sounds good, huh?

- What's the matter?

- Nothing, nothing.

You threw it at me so fast,

I just can't think.

What's there to think about?

What do you want to do with your life?

Marry the Federal Broadcasting Company?

Well, don't shout.

I'm just trying to make myself

heard over those bongo drums!

Who's playing them anyway?

Sumner, of course.

Who else?

- Well, what's that supposed to mean?

- Oh, Bunny.

I honestly don't know

what you're talking about.

When two people get married, they

don't worry about apartments or jobs.

I had every reason to think

you wanted this just as much as I did.

You had every reason to think

I wanted it twice as much as you did.

Yeah, but now you've changed your mind

for obvious reasons.

All that guff I swallowed

that cozy night at your apartment...

For the love of Pete,

I even apologized to you for that.

And now this l-don't-know-what-

you're-talking-about routine.

I don't know what kind of a game you're

playing, but you've got the wrong boy!

- Mike!

- And after seven years of waiting!

You waited seven years!

Bunny, we're all being taken

to the Plaza for a drink by Richard.

Are we?

- She says yes.

- I'll meet you downstairs.

- Get your hat. You're going, too.

- Right.

- Here we go.

- Good. You all set?

- Uh-huh.

- I'll get my packages.

Mrs. Smithers is going to drive us.

- Mr. Sumner!

- Oh, hello.

- I'm Miss Warriner from your lab.

- Oh?

- You remember me, don't you?

- Of course I remember you.

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