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Desperate Living Page #6
- Year:
- 1977
- 90 min
- 864 Views
and returned her to the castle.
Release the prisoners!
Oh, thank you,
Your Wonderful Majesty!
You bilious ball of blubber!
You rotten, stinking...
Come on, get back here!
That's the last straw, Coo-Coo!
I hereby proclaim...
Oh, shut up.
I hereby proclaim...
that you are no longer
the Princess of Mortville.
You'll be gang-raped
by my soldiers...
injected with rabies...
and exiled to the streets
of Mortville where you belong!
I consider that an honor,
Your Royal Hogness...
to once and for all be freed
from this mockery of a monarchy.
I will never live down the shame
of my inherited name...
but I will do my best...
to see that you topple
from the throne.
Seize her and f*** her!
That was a courageous decision,
Your Majesty.
You may stand, Mrs. Gravel.
I appreciate your help
in capturing my daughter.
Loyalty to the Queen
sometimes results in rewards.
Let me be the new princess,
Your Majesty.
I have seen
the human trash of Mortville...
and I share your contempt
for this town.
My subjects are beneath
contempt, Mrs. Gravel.
Dealing with the poor people
is a waste of time.
Only the rich should be
allowed to live!
I like your politics,
Mrs. Gravel.
And to tell the truth...
I need a woman like yourself
to follow in my footsteps.
If you looked all over
this land, Your Majesty...
I doubt you'd find a woman
as vicious as I.
We'll give you a trial run.
Your first duty will be
to help my soldiers...
spread rabies
to everyone in town.
Do you think
you can handle that?
Oh, yes, Your Majesty.
And I know just the person
I want to give it to first.
- May I help you?
- Yeah, I want a sex change.
- Step over here, please.
- Look, I'm in a rush...
so I'd appreciate it if you took
me before these other turkeys.
- Do you have an appointment?
- No, I don't.
I'm sorry, but we don't
see anyone here...
without an appointment.
Well, you do now, Nurse Nancy.
Come on, b*tch!
Cut these tits off!
I'm only the nurse!
The doctor is not in.
Like hell he isn't!
- Sorry, Dr. Freedman.
- Come on, quack.
I want the sex change,
and I want it now.
Madam, the sex change
is a long, complicated process.
We just can't...
Just give me the basics,
or I'll cut her head off.
Look, why don't you just
fill out the necessary forms...
and we'll see if...
Cut the sermon
and give me my wang!
I want a wang,
and I want it now!
I can only do so much
under the circumstances.
If you don't
give me a sex change...
I'll cut off your peter
and sew it on me myself!
I'll see what I can do, Madam.
Hi, big boys.
I'll bet you didn't know...
that Mommy won
the Maryland lottery. Yes!
lots of new push-up bras...
so get ready
for your new home.
Things are gonna be
looking up for you two.
- Well, howdy, Miss Muffy!
- Oh, Mole, you made it!
I missed you.
You got the money?
I sure do, honey.
Look at those greenbacks.
Oh, thank God, Mole!
Money at last!
Good old germ-carrying
American currency.
What you got
in the shopping bag?
Presents, Muffy.
Presents fit for a queen.
Can I open them?
You sure can,
you big hunk of beauty.
Come on, hurry up, honey.
Oh, a new bra!
It's beautiful!
Try it on, honey.
Let me help you.
Quick, get
them boys in there.
Well, just a minute.
- Hook it for me, Mole.
- Got 'em in there?
- Yeah, hook it.
- Yum yum.
- That support feels heavenly.
- Hold still, now.
- Hook it.
- Hold still.
Oh, tie a knot. Anything.
- Oh, my God!
- What else you got for me?
Just a second.
Oh, a mink coat!
What else you got?
- Try this one, gorgey!
- Oh, what is it?
You'll love it.
I feel just like a little girl
on Christmas Morning.
A gown! It's stunning.
Oh, it makes me glad
I was born a woman.
You'll have
to help me with this.
Oh, I'm too nervous.
Just a minute.
There it goes.
Take them goddamn panties
off for a change.
I'm beginning to feel
like a queen already.
You will be Queen, Muffy!
I promise you.
Look at these huggers.
Oh, firearms!
Goody, goody gumdrops!
This one's mine, and this
little.38 is all for you.
Oh! You're so good to me, Mole.
I don't know what
I'd do without you.
I got another surprise
for you, Muffy.
A real big surprise.
Something you
never even asked for.
- A chihuahua?
- No. You'll see.
Close your eyes.
No peeking, now.
You won't believe this, Muffy.
I can't wait.
Well, hurry.
You can open 'em now.
What have you done
to yourself, Mole?
Well, I got the sex change
just for you, Muffy!
Get away from me
with that deformed worm!
You're sick, Mole!
You're a weirdo pervert!
Just let me try it once.
I gotta see if it works.
It's a brand-new model.
I got it at
Hopkins Hospital, Muffy.
Cut it off, Mole!
Rid your body of that
disgusting transplant!
It never goes soft, Muffy.
Oh, cut it off, Mole!
All right, then.
If that's what you really want.
- Cut it off!
- All right.
So much for science, Muffy!
A lovely potion.
But it needs something.
A lovely bat.
And a touch of rat.
A little rat urine.
Just what the doctor ordered.
That ought to give it
a little kick.
Goons, bring in
Princess Coo-Coo...
and tell her
her medicine's ready.
Get off me with
those semen-stained hands...
you big ape!
I can walk by myself.
Well, if it isn't Commoner
Coo-Coo, the grave robber.
All ready for
your little injection?
You ass-kissing little snitch.
One day I'll
get my hands on you.
I doubt you'll have the time...
for you are now
Come on, you little b*tch.
Get your ass out here.
- On the streets, scumbag!
- Don't bite anybody, dog face!
Be brave, sugar. Be brave.
I'll fix you all up.
I thought you'd like it, Muffy.
I just said that
to make you jealous.
I liked your organs
just the way they were.
Now... now I won't
have any organs.
It'll be like having
a Barbie-doll crotch.
When I get through
with these stitches...
it'll be close enough
in my book.
Careful. This is gonna hurt.
Will you ever be able
to love my operation?
Oh, I'll love it, Mole.
I'll feel it. I'll love it.
I'll eat it.
Just like old times.
Now, hold it.
This is gonna hurt.
Who the hell is that?
Come in.
Hi, Your Majesty.
Holy sh*t, Mole.
What happened to you?
Muffy just gave me an abortion.
You were pregnant, Mole?
I wasn't gonna tell anybody,
but I was raped...
when I picked up my money.
Men are such c*nts.
Men, women, they're all OK
with me as long as they're nude.
All that sunshine must've
rotted your brain, Shina.
Yeah, there's nothing
more disgusting than a nude man.
How many times
I gotta tell you...
men are genetic rejects,
and all that gristle...
they got hanging down
between their legs...
was God's first big mistake...
and us woman have been
paying for it ever since.
What is she doing
in my home, anyway?
Be easy on her, Mole.
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"Desperate Living" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/desperate_living_6774>.
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