Diner Page #8

Eddie, what about the Alan Ameche

question? I knew that one.

The marriage is off.

Hi.

- Where are we going?

- We'll go to Fenwick's apartment.

Hey, listen. Put this on.

What's that for?

In case somebody sees us.

They'll think you're Carol Heathrow

or somebody like that.

It's the craziest thing.

How does it look?

You look good.

Okay. Let's go.

I gave him the questions. What's thisjazz?

They were wonderful questions.

Go drive your truck.

Ask your son if they weren't

wonderful questions.

- I wasjust trying to have some fun.

- Don't raise your voice.

- I don't want you to raise your voice...

- How did I know it would end up like this?

- I'm going to the diner. Want to go?

- I got to validate the Heathrow bet.

Yeah, that's right.

Do you mind if I go with ya?

Come on. I'm not going to make any noise.

- It's a small closet. You've got to be still.

- Okay.

- Okay, let's take my car.

- No. Let's take mine. Get some fresh air.

Let's put the top up. It's freezing out here.

- Let's go.

- Okay.

- Let's go. Let's fly.

- Okay, Shrev. All right.

Any forward gear will do here.

Beth would kill me if she knew

what I was doing.

My Prayer?

Flip side, Heaven on Earth, recorded by

The Platters for Mercury Records.

Color of the label, maroon. Another.

I'm Stickin' With You?

I'm Stickin' With You,

flip side is Ever Lovin' Fingers.

Recorded by Jimmy Bowen

for Roulette Records.

Color of the label is orange. All right.

- Donna?

- Donna.

- Flip side?

- I thought Donna was the flip side.

It's La Bamba.

- Come on, I'll crouch. You stand.

- Fine.

- All right?

- Yeah, that'll be good.

- Can you see?

- Yeah.

I'm okay.

- Let's leave it open. I'm claustrophobic.

- Come on, Shrev.

- I should have taken my coat off too.

- Take it off. It's a closet.

Oh, God.

She's beautiful.

That's good?

You're going to have to be real quiet

when we get inside. No talking.

I think you're being a little paranoid, Boog.

The wall's are very, very thin.

You promise?

Okay.

Did you leave the door open?

What door?

What's going on?

They should be here by now.

- Boog, what are you talking about?

- Bet or no bet, it's not right.

Boog? Boog, what are you talking about?

Where are they?

- They're taking their time.

- I wonder what's happening down there.

- Come on, Boog.

- I think we're missing the show.

So, I was supposed to be Carol Heathrow?

That's right.

It was a sick thing to do.

I'm sorry.

Thanks, Boog.

What for?

You had enough respect for me

to call it off. That says a lot.

Look. I think you and Shrevie

should try to work out your thing.

Yeah. I just wish I knew what to do.

Yeah, I don't know. It's like...

This kind of problem with a girl,

I'm not too good about talking about it.

But, you know me.

If I have a problem with a girl, I just split.

But I think you and Shrevie should

work your thing out.

I think it would be worth it.

Boog, when I came to the beauty parlor

this morning, and...

...you said all those things...

...were you lying?

You'll always rate right up there.

- Come on, let's go.

- Okay.

What are you going to do

about the money?

I don't know.

Come on, Boog. Don't let us down, buddy.

We're missing all the action.

I'll bet he's getting her in hallway.

Can we have a couple more beers

over here?

Do you remember coppin' a feel?

How could I forget?

Boogie was the first. Seventh grade.

When I took out Ruth Ray,

I figured I had to do it.

- Ruth Ray, eighth grade.

- Right.

Sat on the couch

in her club cellar for hours...

...trying to figure out

how to get my arm around her.

Finally, I learned the move.

Do you know the move?

I yawned and put my arm

around her shoulder.

Then... Man, was I young.

Then came the big task of getting my hand

down to her breast.

By the time I got the nerve

to move down...

...I realized that my arm was asleep.

- No?

- Yeah.

There wasn't time enough to take it away,

get the feeling again, and start over.

I had to be in by 11:00.

Time was runnin' out.

The breast was moved toward,

with my arm asleep.

My first copping a feel was like this.

That doesn't even count.

Then I see the guys. You were there.

They say, "Did you cop a feel?"

I said, "Yeah." The guys said,

"How was it?" I said, "Great."

Do you mean to tell me that

you never copped a feel from Ruth Ray?

No.

You lied to me?

- I ought to kill you.

- You believed me.

I was dumb.

And you believed me, you dick.

Yeah, the whole thing with girls is painful.

And it seems like it keeps getting

more painful instead of easier.

Hey, Boog's here.

Where were you tonight?

We missed you Boog?

Yeah. You chicken out?

Yep, I chickened out.

Listen, Boog.

I think you should get out of here.

Tank's inside.

Why don't you wait out here till he splits?

He's just going to catch up with me

sooner or later.

I mean the hand is dealt.

I might as well just play the cards.

What do you think we should do,

in case something happens?

I don't know.

How're you doin', Tank?

You're a lucky man, Boog.

Yeah. Is that so?

This donkey in here, Bagel,

he paid your whole tab.

Bagel paid the money that I owe you?

Yeah, Boog. You're straight, like an arrow.

Shame, shame.

- Hey, Tank.

- Yeah?

All right, Boogie!

I owed you that.

What a punch!

Nice punch, Boogie. He put him down.

Smile of the week.

Definitely the smile of the week!

- What do you say, George?

- Nothing.

Thanks a lot, Bagel. I really appreciate it.

Your mother called me.

- She did?

- Yeah. She was hysterical.

So, out of respect for your father.

Your mother told me you're just

wasting your time in law school.

It's not for you. What do you say?

She's probably right.

So, why don't you come work for me?

You can't imagine...

...how much money there is to be made

in the home-improvement business.

And I can't think of anybody

who'd do it better than you would.

I'll tell ya. I was only going to law school...

...as a come-on for the girls.

They like that.

- Do they like it a lot?

- Yeah. They like it.

I mean, what the hell? I could lie.

Florence, could I have some French fries

with gravy please?

We'll call the $2,000 an advance.

Okay, but I've got

to tell you something, Bagel.

I'll work with you for a little while

until we square it off.

But, you know I got plans.

Always a dreamer, hey, Boog?

If you don't have good dreams, Bagel,

you got nightmares.

I'll tell you one thing that happens

when you get married.

You have to give up your old friends.

Because the wife wants you

to get new friends.

And new friends?

Nope. Cause you and me, buddy...

...we got secrets she'll never know.

Never know. Those new friends

could never be as good.

Nope.

We've got a history.

A history.

It won't change, Ed. Only if you let it.

This is getting me crazy. Come on.

Pick it up, guys!

You want to pick up the beat?

- Be quiet or we'll get thrown out.

- You going to pick up the beat?

It's classical.

That's crazy, man.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes