Dirty 30 Page #2

So I can throw you

a party, right?

- Nope.

- Got it.

- Have fun with the dishes.

- Our gift to you.

- Hey, Kate.

Congrats on surviving till 30.

You go, girl.

You will be

a super successful orthodontist

with your own practice.

There will be a little one

to take care of

or at least a bun in the oven.

You'll have the greatest guy

in the world.

He'll be handsome and sweet

and funny.

You will have the most

incredible life.

I'll see you then.

- Excuse me.

- Thank you.

My card wasn't working.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

I can't let you

into the building.

- What?

- I have no proof

that you work here.

- No, I have a card.

- But it doesn't work,

so could be a fake.

I'm sorry.

- Are you Ashley Driscoll?

- Yes.

If you want to schedule

an appointment,

you can call my office.

- No, um, it's Kate fields.

From Lincoln high.

Braceface.

- Braceface!

- Oh, my god!

Look at you.

You look, you know,

so much older.

- Thanks.

I did not know you worked

in the building.

- Yeah.

My real estate business

got too big for my old office,

so now I have

the whole top floor.

I feel like Oprah.

- Whole floor?

- Mm-hmm.

- Cool.

- Anyway,

it was good to see you.

- You too.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

I still can't let you

in the building.

- Are you serious?

- It's building policy.

You have to have a working card.

It opens in 20 minutes though.

Anyway, it was really good

to see you.

Don't be a stranger.

Bye!

- So how did the date go?

Kate?

Kate.

Hey.

How was your date

the other night?

- It's just that usually

there's a kid's menu.

- Kate.

- Can't do crunchy stuff

'cause of the ham tooth.

- Yeah.

Ham tooth.

- Sop it down.

Get it soggy.

- Oh, well, that's a...

That's a interesting ring

you have there.

- Oh, very perceptive of you,

my lady.

Very good.

Um, on the weekends, I go goth.

- I'm sorry?

- On the weekends, I go goth.

- Goth.

- Goth.

- Goth?

- I go goth.

- People still go goth?

- Oh, yeah.

- Really?

- Yeah.

I host a rave

in my mom's basement, like,

every second Saturday.

Full goth.

Full goth.

Yeah.

I know that Richard

may seem to be milquetoast

and boring and plain,

but on the weekends,

he hatches into raven.

- Raven.

Raven.

- Raven?

- A little more roundness to it.

Should feel like, "raven."

Raven.

- Little bit more bass in there.

- That's as low as I can go.

- Okay.

- Okay.

- Is that gonna be a problem

for you?

- No.

- Well,

because that is my social life,

and a lot of people

get intimidated

because it's so cool...

- Oh, god, no.

- Great!

Because this is going

fabulously, so if you're okay...

- okay, no.

Richard, really quick...

- yeah?

Raven.

- Okay, I'm sorry, raven.

- Yeah.

My ex-boyfriend just walked

through the door.

- Oh.

- Yeah.

So I'm just gonna excuse myself.

- Say no more.

You want to make him

really jealous.

- No, that's not at all

what I want.

- Coming in to touch

the shoulder.

- Nope.

- Touch the shoulder.

- Nope.

- Permission to touch...

- Nope.

- Okay, wow.

Whoa, saucy lady.

Oh, you really

want to make him jealous.

It's our anniversary.

Not a big deal.

Hey, listen.

Kate?

I think he's gone.

He took her to the patio, so...

- What?

- Hi.

- Hi.

- He took her to the patio,

so I think you're in the clear.

- He's gone?

- Yeah.

- Are you sure?

- Whoa.

That was awesome!

Look, so, uh...

I don't feel like I really get

along with most people in life.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- Wow.

- But the thing is,

I do feel like

you and I are on the exact...

Same exact wavelength, so...

Congratulations.

You're getting another date.

- Nope.

That...

You're supposed to ask me

if I want another date.

You don't just tell me,

you know?

- Mm, my litmus test is like,

"what would Nathan Fillion do?"

And would Nathan Fillion

ask politely, or would he say...

- you know what?

I think he would.

- Would he?

- Yeah, he seems like

a really nice guy.

- Look, I don't know.

I'm just his doppelganger, so...

- uh, debatable.

- Fridays are no good for me

because those

are my falconry Fridays

where I play with my falcons.

Saturday is d, d&d Saturday.

The third d, of course, for...

- Drinking?

- Domino's.

- Got it.

- Every single Monday, Tuesday,

Wednesday, Thursday, however,

until 2019, wide open.

- Happy birthday.

- Thank you.

Thank you, chef.

I like to tell them

it's my birthday

for the free cake.

- Gauze.

Kate.

- Hmm?

- Gauze.

- Oh.

- You almost choked on

your own blood, but don't worry.

We got you.

Sorry.

- Sparkling grape juice

just in case there's a miracle

brewing in there.

- Todd, I'm proud of you.

As of today, Todd was promoted

to vice president

of paralegal management

at Jones and associates.

All right.

- Hear, hear!

All:
Hear.

- Oh, that's real crystal.

- Mmm.

Mm!

I have an idea.

Why don't we all head up to

the mountain house this weekend

to do some celebratory skiing?

- Yes.

Yes, I've been wanting to break

out my new Fischer XCS.

Hunter at work is so jealous.

I can't wait to test

those puppies out on the powder.

- Babe, it's Kate's birthday

this weekend.

- Evie, how often do I get

a promotion?

- Every six months.

It's your dad's company.

- Exactly, so just try to be

a little bit more considerate.

- So, Evie, how is

the fundraising coming along?

You know, for the bald...

Llamas?

- Alpacas with alopecia.

- Oh, is... is that a thing?

- Yeah, apparently.

Yeah, I had no idea either,

but they called me.

And, actually, I have already

raised over half of their goal.

Hear, hear.

- Well, I think

it's very important

for housewives

to keep their hobbies.

- Oh, it pays.

Because it's my job, so it pays.

- Oh.

- Lay off, mom.

Okay?

If Evie wants to make

a little extra spending money,

who am I to stop her?

Even though I've offered.

Male announcer:
So grab

a friend and make some plans.

Cabins are filling up fast.

Michiana, exit 212.

- Are you ready to get real

about real estate?

- Oh, my god.

- Hi, I'm Ashley Driscoll

and I'm here to make

your dreams a reality.

Let's raise the roof

on finding you an ideal home.

You know, lots of realtors

think they can help you

find a great house,

but I'm here...

- Throw me a party.

- Seriously?

- Yep.

Let's check one thing

off that letter.

Throw me a damn party.

- I'll make t-shirts!

- No, no.

Nothing crazy.

Let's keep it super casual.

Evie, do you even have time

to throw this so last minute?

Evie?

Evie?

- Sorry, I blacked out

from excitement.

Kate, of course!

I once put together the Alpha

sigma tiki mixer in two hours

complete with a full

roasted pig.

- All right, well, seriously,

keep it very small.

Classy, even,

and Charlie, I'm counting on you

to keep Evie in line.

- Never do.

- Okay.

Cool.

I will put it in my calendar.

This is gonna be really fun.

- I think I just found us

a venue.

- Go team!

Morning, sunshine.

- Mm.

Morning.

- Looks like one of us

had some fun last night.

You got a pair of panties

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