Dirty Page #3

Hey! Hey!

Huh, what?

Hey, you get your hands

off my wife you piece of sh*t

or I'll f***ing kill you.

Oh, yeah?

You're gonna kill me?

Freeze!

(ALL LAUGHING)

Sh*t. Sorry.

Excuse me.

F***.

Get the f*** off me.

Don't worry, little b*tch.

You're gonna feel right as rain.

What'd I tell you?

Right as rain.

(LAUGHING)

(COUGHING)

look at her, sh*t.

You're a wanker.

Get it out, get it out. Right.

Just breathe. (COUGHING CONTINUES)

Somebody call a nurse.

God damn,

on top of the world my friend.

Mm.

Where'd your date go?

Hey man,

I f***ed her in the bathroom,

I paid her off, she went home.

She was the perfect hooker.

(JACKSON LAUGHS)

Hey, hey, you know

what they say, right?

What's that?

You don't pay 'em to stay.

You pay 'em to leave.

BERG:
To leave. Absolutely.

Anything I can do for you?

You know,

you guys should really call

before you come over.

Then I would've

at least cleaned up first.

(YELLS)

one of those guys you killed,

is my cousin.

(SCREAMS)

huh?

What? You have nothing

to say?

Come on!

Well, it seems to me

like your family tree

is really good

at producing a**holes.

He's a funny guy.

Real funny.

Yeah,

you wanna laugh. Okay.

We're gonna laugh together.

Is this funny to you,

motherf***er?

You smell that? You smell it?

(COUGHING)

You're gonna burn

tonight, b*tch.

Roast his ass.

I'm gonna f***ing roast...

(SCREAMS)

Do not!

Ferdinand, how many times

do I have to tell you

this is not ol' Mexico

and you are not Pablo Escobar?

I'm Lebanese, bro.

Same difference.

Give it up.

Get out of here.

Don't go too far, sweetie.

I'm coming for you soon, b*tch.

Not so fast.

You didn't really think that

was the end of it

did you?

Oh, I wanna be inside you

just once more.

And tonight I was wondering,

would you mind

if I shaved your ass?

(PANTING)

I have a long afternoon

planned for us.

I'm home, Lucy.

(BUZZER BLARING)

Man, Chris, you better have

a good ass reason

for missing pork chop night.

Them shits

was good as hell, Nig.

Anyway, you don't want

'em next time,

send 'em my way.

Lights out, jimmy.

Yes sir, boss, yes sir.

The f***'s his problem?

Hey!

He's got bad diarrhea, boss.

Real, real, bad.

You know the food 'round here?

Matter a fact, I'd do my best

to stay up wind if I was you.

Yeah, lights out, boys.

Bunk up.

Yes, sir.

Bunk, bunk it up.

Don't you worry, dude.

I told you I got your back.

Yes, sir, you're gonna need

ol' jimmy 'round here.

I'm gonna be your best friend.

(FIRE CRACKLING)

Chris, what the f***'s

that smell?

Oh, oh!

Oh! Sh*t! Sh*t!

Hey, guard! Guards!

What the f*** is wrong?

(JIMMY SCREAMING)

REPORTER:
These allegations of corruption

have marred the city's

once storied

police department for months.

After over ten indictments

being handed down so far

the department is left

scratching their heads,

trying to find

an underlying cause

for this seemingly rampant

misuse of power.

Now I'm here live at city hall

with commander Rocco

of the LAPD.

Commander, sir,

what exactly can you tell us

about this seemingly

irreversible trend of corruption

that we are witnessing?

Well, first of all,

I'd like

to respectfully disagree

with that statement.

It's always wrong

to judge the many

by the actions of a few.

But commander, ten indictments

over the past ten months,

I would hardly call

that the few.

Well, I'd like to point out

that there's

an internal investigation

currently underway

to get to the bottom

of these allegations.

And until that investigation

is concluded,

no one will have the full story.

Including myself.

And I would also like

to reiterate

that this department

is run by caring, talented,

intelligent,

and well-trained individuals,

who as a whole,

embody that which is needed

to truly serve and protect

the citizens of this city.

I can assure you

those individuals

that would use

this badge as a cover

to perpetrate

unlawful activities,

their day has come,

and justice will be swift.

Oh, no.

Oh. Hi.

Good morning, banks.

Oh, do you think

it's really safe for him

to be playing

with that little thing?

(GROANS) -despite Jeffrey's

IQ, or lack thereof,

his loyalty

remains unquestioned.

Something you know

nothing about.

You're three weeks late.

How many times

do I have to tell you

to stop this welching stuff.

You are an unlucky f***.

But you insist on hanging out

at the track,

spending my money,

picking losers.

So, I have to ask myself,

why would someone do this to me?

Is it because

they don't like me?

Is it because when you

look at me,

you don't see

a serious individual?

You know what,

I'm a police officer.

And if anybody saw this

they might say

that it's assaulting

a police officer.

Yeah, and priests

are supposed to be good

with kids,

but things aren't always

what they seem.

I'm tell you what,

cop, no cop,

this is going

to happen every time.

That is until you wise up

and learn that badge of yours,

doesn't mean sh*t

if it's standing in the way

of my money.

(CHUCKLES)

(SNAPS FINGERS)

(GROANING CONTINUES)

Friday, berg.

Or we start lopping off parts.

Friday, berg.

Don't test me on this.

Hey now

you better listen to me

Everyone of you

we've got a lot

of lot, of lot, of lot

Work to do

forget about

your women

And that water can

today, you're working

for the man

(VOCALIZING)

Well,

pick up your feet

We've got a deadline

to meet

I'm gonna see you

make it on time

Oh, don't relax

I want elbows

and backs

I wanna see everybody

from behind

BERG:
Ouch, ouch.

That's your fault.

Ouch.

Hey.

Good morning.

I'm almost done.

Okay.

All right.

What are you doing here, berg?

Don't you got a home

of your own to go to?

BERG:
Hey, man. You

know, I couldn't sleep

so I thought I'd come over here

and pop a couple in the misses

before you got home.

You know.

Oh, that's very nice of you.

Maybe you can take a shower

before coming over next time.

Ooh, damn.

Is he always this funny

in the morning?

Oh, I wouldn't know these days.

He didn't come home last night.

I got stuck

doing some paperwork.

Yeah, you know,

I dropped the ball,

so, my man, Jackson

covered my ass.

As you do.

Yeah.

Mm, yeah, I'm sure he did.

Yeah, well, I hate to interrupt

this wonderful awkward moment

but we've got a job to do.

You know, that you thing you do,

like eight days a week.

JACKSON:
Yeah, I'll meet you outside.

Cool.

See you in the car.

Hey.

My man, thanks

for that cover story,

that sh*t worked out perfect.

Yeah, that's

what partners are for.

Who was it this time?

None of your god damn business.

Oh, yeah.

You rocking that tranny again.

I told you, you gotta check

for that adam's apple

before you pay up.

Yeah, you're the expert.

Yeah, right.

They need that report

in an hour.

Jesus, berg, you look like sh*t.

Thank you, commander.

I need you guys

to get it together.

'Cause I'm sure

you've seen the news.

A bunch of ungrateful a**holes

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