Dirty Page #4

if you ask me.

Yeah, well, nobody asked you.

Now, I need you both

to be on your best behavior.

Because as you can see,

I kinda got my hands

full around here.

And a response

to all of this bullshit,

the mayor has appointed

a special task force

to investigate

police corruption citywide.

Yeah, I heard about that.

JACKSON:
Cocksuckers.

What?

It's what?

Oh, I said, cocksuckers, sir.

You know what, that's enough.

'Cause I don't care

how you guys feel

about this either way,

you're both gonna fully

cooperate with la

just like everybody else.

You're gonna give them

everything they need,

including showing up on time

for your f***ing interviews.

Berg...

(CHUCKLES)

Don't let me

chase you down, okay?

'Cause I'll gladly drag

you back here in cuffs

if that's what it takes

to get this pain

in my ass removed.

What do they want with us?

They want to conduct

a simple interview,

just like everybody else.

Well, there's gotta be a reason.

What's the matter with you guys?

You know, I'll tell you what,

surprise me.

Do me a favor,

go out and solve a crime,

catch a crook, go do something.

Act like cops.

Should we blow them

as well, commander?

Berg, let me tell you

something right now.

I'm not kidding,

if they tell you to dress

in drag,

you break out

the f***ing lipstick.

Commander, there's something

that I've been meaning

to ask you.

You use that expression

a lot, and...

I guess what I'm trying

to say is,

is there something that

you're trying to tell us?

You can tell me.

I won't tell anyone.

Carry on.

He's never laughed one time

at anything I've ever said.

Hey guys, got something

for you too.

Give me, give me.

Give me, give me, give me.

Oh, f***. Come on,

this is a crank.

What? Hey, she called,

and asked for you by name.

If you ask me,

I think she's a f***ing nut.

WOMAN 2:
No milk, hope

you guys take it black.

Yeah, sure.

Is this a f***in' joke?

So, Mrs. Valdez,

you said that you

just found this?

That's right,

I went out this morning

to get the paper.

And there it was,

right on my porch.

If you ask me,

I think the good lord

is tempting me.

Oh, right,

by sending you heroin?

Honey, you ever tried heroin?

No, Ma'am.

Then what the f***

do you know about it?

So, ms. Valdez,

why exactly did you ask for us?

The package told me to.

Here. See.

Uh-huh.

So, where do you think

it came from?

There's a crazy old b*tch

that has a brick of heroin

that we f***in' stole.

Do you want me to calm down?

Okay, we don't know

that for sure.

Yeah, right.

It's just a coincidence,

that this brick of heroin

has the same f***ing

Chinese sh*t

as the sh*t

that we f***in' stole.

How are you not

more upset at this?

Where are we going now?

Guess.

All the money's just gone.

All the f***in' junk,

it's just gone.

All of last year

is down the drain.

F*** this sure as sh*t

is not happening.

It is happening.

It is happening.

No else knew about it

except you and me.

F***, man!

You think I took the money?

You got a better explanation?

Yeah.

There's somebody

that's f***ing with us.

Why would I steal from us?

I'm in this sh*t

just as deep as you are.

And I'm your f***ing partner.

Oh, sh*t.

$4 million dollars.

Really good job.

Thank you, sir.

Both of you. Really.

Okay, everybody.

Back to work.

Appreciate it,

thank you so much.

(LAUGHING)

Police work at its best, baby.

Hey, ladies, ladies, ladies.

What's the cackling all about?

Oh, not much,

just your average 42 kilo bust,

that's all.

Hah, yeah.

Our records say

that this was part

of a shipment

that was stolen last year.

Hello?

Anybody home?

So, where'd they get it

shipped from?

Oh, some low-level thug.

Man, we got him over

in interrogation right now.

Yeah, but what gets to me

is you know,

how does a lowlife like him

get a hold of this much weight?

MAN:
We're gonna take a

crack at him after lunch.

Let him sweat it out

a little bit.

Hey, you guys wanna come

join us?

We're gonna celebrate.

We got some loose ends

to tie up,

but we'll definitely take

a rain check on that one.

Okay, well, suit yourself.

But, hey, if you guys

are free later,

come on by and watch

two real detectives put it down,

because we are going

to lay into that guy.

'Cause I'm tellin' ya,

that guy...

he's hiding something.

Detectives.

Congrats, congrats.

All to us.

Wakey, wakey. Hello?

Hi. Sorry to disturb you.

I'm berg.

I want my f***in' phone call.

You understand?

Now, Chavez, I have a very...

simple question

for you, the drugs.

Where did they come from?

I don't know anything

about no drugs

I told your other two partners

that I don't know sh*t.

What the f***,

I want my f***ing phone call.

You know, I am a professional.

As a professional,

I really kind of pride myself

on playing by the book.

So, what I'm gonna do

is I'm going to play

by the book.

Okay?

Here's the book.

And now we're going to play.

"Rules regarding tactics

of manipulation

and interrogation techniques

volume three."

that's a mouth full.

Look, I don't know what the f***

you're talking about.

I don't wanna have to go

to volume four.

Oh, sir, I didn't realize you

were in here with... no problem.

We would like

some privacy though,

my friend and I were just...

just getting

acquainted actually.

That's the thing, sir.

This f*** just posted bail.

Sh*t. Who posted it?

You're not gonna believe this,

sir,

but it was posted anonymously.

Anonymous.

Interesting.

Okay. I guess

we gotta let him go.

Now, you might wanna get him

a band-aid.

He had a little boo-boo.

What the f*** happened

back there?

Oh, man, I told you,

that barney fire

stepped in there,

interrupted us

before I could get anything.

F***, he didn't say anything?

Nah, he didn't say anything

but he knows

a whole bunch of sh*t.

So, what the f***

are we gonna do now?

Posted, right?

Right.

He's a free man, right?

So you can get anything you

want out of a free man.

As long as you apply

the right amount of pressure.

Hey, where you going, b*tch?

Hey, man. You know me,

do you know me?

You know me, don't you?

You stole from me,

right, motherf***er? Huh?

A**hole, pendejo... I didn't

steal sh*t from you, man.

I didn't f***ing steal sh*t

from you guys.

You know what?

You agitating me.

You shouldn't do that.

You shouldn't agitate me.

Now, if you didn't take

the sh*t,

where the sh*t come from?

(SPUTTERS)

Man, I don't f***ing know.

I don't f***ing know.

I didn't f***ing

take sh*t from you.

(COUGHS)

You don't know anything

about the money, hmm?

You know what, I got a boy

here who will teach you

what we do to people

who don't know nothing

about nothing.

Go ahead, boy. Go ahead. You

want me to go ahead right now?

Uh-huh. Hit him.

Listen, man.

You gotta f***ing believe me.

I don't know sh*t.

(JACKSON GROANS)

that's it, there it is.

See, okay.

Behind door number one

we have...

(POWER TOOL WHIRS)

uh-huh.

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