Dirty Girl Page #3

and he's a total dick.

What are we gonna tell her?

They were high school sweethearts,

and he was handsome

and magical. [giggles]

You know, if they were high school

sweethearts, he'd be in her yearbook.

I checked those, like, a zillion times.

He didn't go to her school.

Maybe he wasn't a student.

You take this one, OK?

Peggy?

What is that?

It's just as well.

I wasn't thrilled by the idea

of my dad being a pedophile.

This one don't have no signatures.

That's the year she dropped out,

'cause of me.

Ooh, football players are yummy.

Ah! They're the worst.

I mean, the idea and all is hot,

but that cream they use is so nasty.

I like they way they smell,

like Bengay and ferns.

- You have no self-respect.

- [Giggling]

I'm gonna get some more food.

You want some?

OK.

- Danielle?

- What?

Found him.

Assistant coach, Danny Briggs.

Danny? You're named after him.

[Phone ringing]

[Line ringing]

- [Danielle] Hello?

- Hey, baby. You doing OK?

Just fine.

Have you had time

to think about things?

Yeah.

You're right.

I do need a man in my life.

[Whispers] It's working.

Listen, baby. In my bedroom under

the lamp, I left you some cash.

Go ahead and order

yourself a pizza. OK?

OK.

And we'll be back on Monday.

- OK.

- [Whispers] Hey, you.

I love you.

- OK.

- [Dial tone]

This house is really nice.

Maybe there's another

Danny Briggs in Norman.

No, this is it.

Maybe you should've called first.

[Knocking at door]

- Yeah?

- Hi.

Hi.

I'm Sue-Ann's little girl.

Good for you.

What can I do for you?

We're looking for Danny Briggs.

You him?

[Man] Billy?

Who is it?

Let's see, we moved in here,

when, about a year ago?

Let's see... it was

right after my sister's wedding,

which was a week before

the space shuttle blew up.

- Such a sad time for the country.

- I'm still not over it.

I don't mean to be rude or nothing,

but where the f*** is my dad?

- You're saucy, I like that.

- Fresno, sweetie.

I like your house. It's super tasteful.

- Fresno?

- California.

You should've seen it

when we first moved in.

- [Groans]

- That wife of his

had it all done up in faux country.

Oh, I hate that.

We almost didn't get

this house because of her.

When she found out we were in a

long-term committed life partnership.

- B*tch.

- [Clarke sighs]

- Hey, you got an address?

- Does she even know about you?

Danny's wife? Oh, my God.

- They asked us to forward the mail.

- We never did. Oops.

Would you like to deliver it?

- Thanks.

- She is gonna sh*t twice and die.

- [All chuckling]

- You are bad.

- [Whispers] California.

- [Man] You are.

Get up!

- Come on, we have to go!

- Where do you want to eat breakfast?

You know, I think Sambo's

takes credit cards.

- You're taking me to California.

- You're a crazy person.

Ray took my keys or I'd drive myself.

Dani, my parents will kill me.

Well, tell them you were

manipulated by my p*ssy.

I can't steal my dad's car.

I don't know what would happen,

but I imagine it would hurt. A lot.

I don't want to be a Mormon, Clarke.

It's my chance.

I've never known my daddy.

And now I've got

a name and an address.

It's my hope.

Please?

I can't.

[Clarke] Mom, I'm home!

Did you have a good time?

What are we going

to do about you, Clarke?

You know you're not supposed

to drink from the container!

Come here! Goddamn it!

Clarke! Clarke! Come here!

- Don't you take my car! Hey! Hey!

- [Tires squeal]

[Father shouting] Hey! God damn it!

Ow! [screaming] Clarke!

[Horn honking]

Bring Joan!

[Tires squealing]

[Danielle] Whoo!

[Danielle] Dear Diary,

I am super excited

about our family vacation.

I'm only a week old and already

I'm seeing all the great sights

of this great land.

It is said that most

American families

don't spend enough

quality time together.

My family is different.

Whoo!

I ain't never been out of Oklahoma!

Goddamn!

- Whoo!

- [Both chuckling]

My grandma lives in Dallas,

so I'm used to traveling.

- Have you ever seen the ocean?

- No.

I ain't never seen the ocean neither.

So when we get to Fresno,

we go to the beach.

[Soft rock music plays on radio]

Don't you just love Melissa Manchester?

You know... I was thinking when we get

back, we could enter the talent show.

Do one of her songs.

I'm not going on no stage with you.

There's no way I'm signing up

for the talent show.

It just wouldn't be right in the

public eye to see the two of us

belting out the theme

from Ice Castles.

What if we did "Don't Cry Out Loud"?

Clarke, I'm not going back.

And that song sucks.

If you spill that, my dad'll kill me.

Baby...

...you came out of the closet,

stole his car and took off

with the class whore.

You're the definition of dead.

[Chuckles]

[Phone ringing]

Hello?

[Woman] I have

a collect call from Clarke.

Yes, yes.

- Clarke, honey, where are you?

- Is Daddy real mad at me?

Honestly, honey,

I'm afraid of what he might do.

- Does he still want to send me away?

- Your father is...

...just sort of determined when he

makes up his mind about something.

I know.

We can just try

to convince him together.

All right, can you do that?

Clarke, are you with that girl?

- Peggy? Who was that?

- Nobody.

Let's go over to that girl's house.

Somebody should wait by the phone.

All right.

[Danielle] Did you tell

your parents where we are?

I swear to God, if you did, Clarke,

I will pull this car over

and kick your ass out!

You are running toward something,

Danielle.

- I am just running away.

- Well, ain't that poetic?

My daddy's credit card is financing

this little adventure of yours.

- You have not even said, "Thank you."

- Some things go without saying.

Then I guess it goes without saying

that you are the neatest person

that I have ever met!

And I am not afraid no more

when I'm around you,

'cause you are cooler

than I will ever be.

And It also goes without saying

that I would never tell on you!

[Danielle] I promise

I'll find a way to thank you.

Breaker, breaker.

Got me a peeper in my sights.

[Yelling] No! No!

[Gasping]

[Man] Breaking and entering,

was that really necessary?

I mean, couldn't you have just called?

That would've been

the neighborly thing to do.

I got an at-risk kid. And he is at risk.

Hm-hm.

Hey, I need some

medical attention here.

I got my ass bleeding like a sieve.

Oh, and you think

that's news around here?

[Vibrating]

[Singing to Belinda Carlisle's "Heaven

Is A Place On Earth," voice vibrating]

# Ooh, heaven is a place on earth

# They say in heaven love comes first

# We'll make heaven a place on earth

# Ooh, heaven is a place on earth... #

We were just passing through

and thought we'd stop by and say...

Hi. You live in a beautiful place.

Hi...

What do you think of my hair?

Bonjour...

Hola...

It's so great to finally meet you.

I'm real excited to be... Sh*t.

How am I supposed to face my father?

I look like a f***ing leper.

Where's Joan?

Oops.

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