Dirty Grandpa Page #10

Well, we'll work

on it.

You're a hard man

to track down, Professor.

Are those my pants?

Yeah, these are

your pants.

I found a Werther's

Original in the pocket

and I've been

sucking on it all morning.

You do know that I'm not

a professor, right?

Yeah, I know.

You're just a dirty,

dirty grandpa,

and I'm just a girl

from Long Island City

who likes to f***

old people.

I like your

pull-out couch.

Yeah, well,

I got news for you.

That's the only thing

that's gonna be

pulling out tonight.

I'll be right back.

Hey.

Look, I'm... I'm sorry.

I don't know

if I can do this.

I haven't done it

for a long time.

Whoops! I guess

they just slipped off.

I want you to tear

open my bra

like it's a social

security check.

Tell me you've fallen

and you can't get up.

"Help, I've fallen

and I can't get up."

No!

Now fumble around

and pretend

like you're trying

to find your glasses.

"I'm trying to find

my glasses. I can't see.

"I found them!

I can see! I can see!"

Tell me it's 4:
00

and you want to eat dinner.

"It's 4:
00

and I want to eat dinner."

Tell me the buttons

on your remote control

are so small

that you can't find Fox News.

"The buttons

on my remote control

"are so small

I can't find Fox News!"

Tell me how small they are!

"They're real small!"

Tell me how this neighborhood

used to be safer!

"This neighborhood

used to be safer!"

Tell me how things were

better under Eisenhower!

"Things were better

under Eisenhower!"

- We like Ike!

- We like Ike!

- We like Ike!

- We like Ike!

We like Ike!

We like Ike!

We like Ike!

We like Ike!

We like Ike!

Are you

cumming or dying?

I'm not sure!

Maybe both!

"...for as by a man

came death.

"By a man has

come also life."

Richard Kelly II.

Congratulations on the

baby's new godparents,

Jason and Shadia.

Congratulations!

Back to Mommy.

All baptized.

You just keep

surprising me, Grandpa.

New dad at 72.

Great f***ing idea.

Hey, watch your

potty mouth!

- Jesus, sorry...

- Yeah, clean up your language.

And show some respect

for your new grandmother!

I'm sorry, honey.

That's all right.

And sweetie, would it kill

you to visit us sometimes?

We never see you.

Sorry, Nanna.

- You wanna go grab the car?

- Yeah.

All right, I'll pull around

the minivan.

Go to Daddy.

There we go,

come to Daddy.

All right.

It's a little bit weird.

She's my grandma.

And you're my uncle.

- Look at that.

- Holy sh*t!

It's a good dick.

My God!

Put that away.

- It's our dick.

- Yeah.

I'm just relieved

it's not his dick.

You want to get

the bottle for me?

Yeah.

Jamba!

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