Dirty Laundry Page #3

That's my brother!

Oh, girl, I'm just playin'. Ain't nothing wrong

with havin' a little brotherly love.

Uh, well, no.

No. And-And, well, yes.

[Chuckles]

Oh, you're so proper.

- Where are you from?

- New York.

The Big Apple?

Ooh! East Side!

- You know Eddie Murphy?

- No.

Biggie? Puffy?

- Tupac?

- Tupac dead.

Oh, no, she didn't.

No, this heifer did not.

See, you playin'.

Tupac is alive.

See? It's a plot.

He over in Cuba somewhere kickin' it.

You know what I'm sayin'?

They take all the good ones-

Martin, Malcolm, Don Cornelius.

- Don Cornelius?

- Everybody dies. It's all so sad.

- The book, ho. Read the book.

- Oh, yeah.

You know, I think

I'm going to leave.

Yeah. Good. And don't

be late picking me up...

because it's bingo night,

and I'm making a potato salad.

Ooh. Bingo and potato salad.

Don't want to miss that.

Smart-ass. 7:
00.

Girl, how you make your potato salad?

With relish or paprika?

- I'm not telling you.

- Heifer.

I want some deviled eggs.

Whoo!

Jesus.

[Sheldon Narrating]

Since Cain and Abel...

kids have been fighting for

the affection of their parents.

Erik and Lyle Menendez probably

took that to a new level...

but my point is that

sibling rivalry is nothing new.

And I'm sure that somewhere

deep within the fairy tale...

even Hansel and Gretel

had some parental issues.

Then there was my brother Eugene.

[Jackie] There are two emergency exits

on either side of the row.

In case of an emergency,

the lights on the floor will light up...

and lead you straight to-

There are two emergency exits

on either side of the row.

- In case of an emergency, the lights on the-

- Hey, so how was bingo night?

- Hey.

- Hey.

- What's up?

- Oh, you tell me.

- Nothing.

- What were you doing?

- Just playin' around.

- [Chuckles]

- Sheldon.

- "Be a flight attendant."

- Sheldon!

- "Travel the world."

Give it to me.

Don't say nothing to Mama.

Why not? I mean,

it's about time you do something.

Why should I be the only one

to get out of this place?

And that's the point.

I don't wanna cause no stress.

- I did pass my first exam though.

- My God, that's great!

Yeah, but don't say nothing.

Your secret is safe with me, okay?

[Sighs]

When did you move back in here?

Mmm, about two years ago.

Broke up with Pudge's daddy.

He was cheatin' on me.

And moved back in here, was gonna

save some money, but you know how Mama is.

Yeah. She's like a black hole.

You talk to Eugene?

Sheldon, don't-

Sheldon. Sheldon!

Come back here!

What are you doin'?

Well, you're not that rusty.

I think you know what I'm doin'.

Well, what did I say? What if people saw us?

What would they think?

Well, they'd probably think

we was havin' a good time.

- [Both Laugh]

- Come on. Ain't nothing wrong with that, is there?

I ain't some loosey-goosey

you can just press up against...

bring over your drawers

for me to wash...

and then make me

the talk of the town.

Loosey-goosey.

I-I-Is that how you think I feel about you?

Look, we've been goin'

together a long time...

and I believe

we need to let go-

You know, let it go.

Just let it come on out.

No.

- I love you, Evie.

- Oh! And see? Now you just talkin' crazy.

- Evelyn Bernice Davis.

- Huh?

There's been something

I been wantin' to ask you for a long time.

Unless you askin' me to put more starch

in your shirts, you best stand up.

But, Evelyn-

Come on, you old fool!

Look, I-I-I know you had it real bad

with your first husband...

but I-I-I just want you to be happy.

Now, see, that's something you don't know

nothing about! Now, look, I don't know-

I should have never gotten involved

with a crazy old fool like you.

- Evelyn, come on!

- Go on. Get out of here! Just get on out of here.

- Get on! Get! Get off my porch!

- All right.

Get your ass off my porch.

[Man Singing]

- See you tomorrow.

- [Ends]

[Piano]

Holy, holy

Holy

Lord God

Almighty

Early

Early in the morning

Our song

Shall rise to thee, yeah

Almighty

God in three persons

- Yeah

- Blessed Trinity

Bless this Trinity

Almighty God in

Three persons

Bless this Trinity

Almighty

God in three persons

God in three persons

- Blessed Trinity

- Yeah

Blessed Trini-

Trini-

Trinity

Yeah, yeah

- Oh!

- [Ends]

All right.

Not bad. Not bad, altos.

All right, sopranos.

- But you all really need to give

it to me on that last note.

- Mm-hmm.

Sopranos, you too.

Lettuce, you was fabulous.

- I know I hit my note.

- That's right.

Now, Clarine and Jackie,

you two divas need some work.

Tenors, wonderful.

Okay. I'll see everyone next week.

And, Jackie, on time.

[Lettuce]

Mm-hmm.

[Both Murmuring]

Uh, Jackie?

Jackie.

I hear my nephew done

found his way back home.

- Heard already? Yeah, he back.

- [Chuckles]

Well, good news travels faster

than rain off a greased pig.

You know, God is great.

Oh, yes, he is.

Always great, 24/7, 365.

So, how is he?

- He's fine.

- Mm-hmm.

Well, let's just hope

he stays put this time.

Let's hope he stays put.

You know.

Rolling stones have always

run rampant in y'all's family.

- Ma'am?

- Jackie, come on, girl.

Oh, child, don't pay me no mind.

I was just never fond

of y'all's daddy.

I always told Evelyn

I thought she could do better.

One never knows what happen when you

raise kids without both parents in the house.

How are your four kids

and their two daddies?

You, uh-

[Chuckles]

You tell your mama

I'm coming by her house tomorrow.

- You do that.

- Okay. I'll let her know.

Yeah, you do that.

[Scoffs]

[Doorbell Rings]

[Doorbell Rings]

Lettie, what you doin' here?

I told Jackie to tell you

I was coming by to call on you.

She warned me, but I'm

watching The Price is Right.

They getting ready

for the show price showdown.

Oh, Evie, now, honey,

is that any way to act?

Can't you see I brought the

welcoming committee with me?

You remember sisters Norma Jean...

Berta May and Willa.

[Together]

Good morning, Evelyn.

Ladies.

In any case, we thought it prudent

to come by and welcome Sheldon back home.

Let him know all the wonderful places

he can be of use down in Ebenezer.

- Now he is coming to church, ain't he?

- Now, hold on.

Well, one can never be too sure now.

All that big city living.

Nothing wrong with fortified.

Where's he at?

- He ain't home.

- Really?

Well, now, we were under the impression

he hadn't left here since this morning.

I guess we were misinformed.

What, you got spies in my house?

[Laughs]

Spies!

- [All Laughing]

- Don't be silly.

June Mosley from across the way

was kind enough to let us know.

Now, you know she sits

on the deaconess board.

[Together]

Morning, Miss Mosley.

Stand down, June!

False alarm! He ain't even here!

[Scoffs]

Well, we got this fresh ham, caramel cake.

Might as well come on in,

sit down and visit a spell. Come on, girls.

- Hey, baby. How was school?

- Good.

Why don't you go on upstairs,

do your homework?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes