Dirty Laundry Page #4

Supper gonna be ready in a minute.

You forgot how to fold?

- No, ma'am.

- All right.

Mmm.

Two of you don't seem

to be talkin' much.

Well, what is there to say?

- Well-

- Mama!

Mama! Come on now!

You know Abby's waitin' for me!

Boy, don't be hollerin'

through this house.

- I can hear.

- Hey, Mama.

- What you got?

- Well, I got you, uh-

Got you ham, just like you like it.

Uh, got you pork chops,

bacon, hot links.

And I brought some of that

sausage I been workin' on.

Oh, you're not usin' me as a guinea pig.

I am not goin' to the hospital.

- You're not gonna say hi to your brother?

- Nope.

- Typical.

- What, you got a problem?

- Eugene.

- No, seriously. What, I'm supposed to be happy...

'cause he brought

his fancy ass back home?

What, are you, like, 12?

Idiot.

Don't call your brother an idiot.

What else am I supposed

to call him, Mama?

- Well, he may be dumb, but he's not an idiot.

- Mama!

Shut up, stupid!

Sheldon!

Shel!

Sheldon, what you cryin' for?

- Mom ripped up my journal.

- It's just a stupid book.

- It's not a stupid book!

- It is stupid. And so are you.

You make me sick, Eugene!

Get out of here!

Crybaby. Sissy.

- Shut up!

- Crybaby! Sissy! Sissy!

- All right.

- [R& B Music Playing]

Oh, baby.

All right.

[Both Laughing]

Mmm. Got a little bit of champagne.

- Ooh, yes!

- Ow! Oh!

- Oh! Butcher man by day

and sausage king by night.

- Oh, that's right, baby.

- Sausage king.

- Butcher man.

- Sausage king.

- The butcher man.

- Mmm.

- Butcher man.

Mmm. Finally I get a chance

to spend some time with my man.

[Slurping]

Ah.

- [Chuckling]

- [Grunts]

- Oh.

- [Doorbell Buzzes]

- Damn!

- Come on, baby. You ain't gotta get that.

- Baby, what if it's an emergency?

- This is an emergency.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Ooh, that's cocoa butter.

That's cocoa butter.

- Your favorite flavor.

- That's cocoa butter!

[Both Laughing]

- [Doorbell Buzzing]

- Baby, it might be a work emergency.

You are a butcher. What kind of emergency

could you possibly have?

- The B.L.T. Ran out of bacon?

- Oh, come on now.

- The chicken can't find his wing?

- Come on now.

- Come on, Cooter.

- [Pounding On Door]

You know that ain't nobody

but your nosy-ass mama.

- What took you so long?

- Uh-

Child, you look ridiculous!

- Why are you dressed in that outfit?

- N-No reason.

Well, you know, I came over here

just to talk about your brother Sheldon.

Oh. Well, you know, um,

I'd love to do that, Mama-

well, not really-

but now is just-

- It's not a- It's not a good time.

- Why?

Hello, Mother Davis.

Oh.

I see why.

Well, Son, put you on some clothes.

You look like a pimp,

and she look like- Ooh.

Excuse me.

[Chuckles]

Mama.

Now... is not...

the best of times.

I don't need to see or hear nothing

about your little fantasy life.

- Well, here you are.

- I think what Abigail was trying to say is that...

well, we weren't exactly

expecting company tonight.

I think I can speak for myself.

Oh, honey, that outfit

is speakin' plenty.

Mama. Baby.

Do me a favor. Just-

Eugene, I don't have all night.

Just five minutes, baby.

- I need five minutes.

- [Door Closes]

You don't listen to me, Eugene.

You just don't listen to your mama.

Mama, you know that me

and Abigail is trying.

Son, that woman is too old

to be talkin' about havin' any babies.

The last egg she saw, she ate it.

[Abigail]

Cooter, I'm ovulating.

Yeah, right, and I'm Britney Spears.

Mama, I'm gonna have to go.

I need to talk to you about Sheldon.

Shel- Sheldon?

What about Sheldon, Mama?

Sheldon always

takes care of Sheldon.

So I'm sure that

Sheldon will be fine. Good night.

- Eugene.

- Good night, Mama. Good night. Come on. Go.

- Eugene!

- Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

Can't take it. Mmm.

Ooh, baby. Wait a minute.

Ooh. What you-

Oh. Is that candle wax?

Cocoa butter. Ooh.

[Snoring]

Oh! Oh, God.

I'm sorry.

You scared me. Huh.

Go, go, go.

Shoo. Shoo. Go.

- [Sheldon Grunts]

- Mr. Sheldon, time to get up.

- Go away.

- We're gonna be late for church.

[Groans]

I am not going to church.

Gran's not gonna like that.

- [Gabriel] Aunt Jackie!

- Sheldon.

Sheldon!

Is it impossible for anybody in this house

to call me Patrick? Huh?

- Get up.

- Get out.

Get up. I don't want

to hear Mama's voice. Get up!

Okay. Okay, okay, okay.

Mm-hmm.

[Snoring]

[Gasps]

God. Privacy, please.

What you coverin' up?

You ain't got nothing I ain't seen before.

- Get out!

- Sunday mornings we do church.

I am a grown man capable

of making my own decisions.

Sunday is my rest day. Okay?

So I'm not going to church,

and that is that.

Boy, have you lost

your goddamn mind?

- Give me that!

- Mama!

- [Gospel]

- [People Clapping]

- [Continues]

- [Cheering]

Joy will come

if you hold out

Peace and joy

if you keep the faith

Life is everlasting

if you trust in him

What joy

What joy

What joy to praise his name

Joy

I've got joy

Joy

I've got joy

Joy

I've got joy

Joy

I've got joy

- What a storehouse of grace

- Yeah,yeah,yeah

He's an anchor in place

What joy

What joy

You gave me all my joy

What joy

I've got all my joy

What joy

What joy to praise his name

[Cheering]

Yeah!

Good morning, church.

- Good morning.

- Good morning.

Well, I just want to remind you

about what's gonna happen next week...

- immediately after the church service.

- [Man] Uh-huh!

We're gonna have

a gospel revival barbecue...

picnic jamboree to raise money

for the usher board uniforms.

- [Cheering]

- Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah!

And our own- our own

Ebenezer Gospel Choir...

is gonna be performing under the direction

of brother Cedric Tate.

- [Cheering]

- Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Thank you, Jesus.

And the concert will also

feature the lovely-

the lovely Miss Lettuce Dupree!

Oh, hallelujah,

hallelujah, hallelujah!

I'm glad to be here

I'm glad to be here

I said I'm glad

so glad to be

So glad to be here

- I said I'm glad

- I'm glad

- Glad, glad

- Glad

[Together]

To be here

- Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

- Dear Lord! Thank you!

Oh, thank you, Miss Sister Lettuce.

Oh, yeah! In honor to God,

who is the head of the house...

Pastor James, deacons, mothers...

members, family

and visiting friends...

I just wanna say...

this is my husband right here,

Mr. Jimmy Dupree...

owner and proprietor...

of Dupree's World Classic

Used Automobiles and Boats.

He and I just want

to make a small donation...

for the uniforms

for the junior usher board.

Hallelu-

- Sit down, Lettie.

- Mm-mmm.

A check in the amount of $1,000.

- [Man] Yeah!

- [Lettuce] Thank you. Thank you very much.

- Thank you.

- Sit down.

I am simply testifying

to the glory of the Lord! Hallelujah!

Sounds like you're testifyin' about the size

of your bank account.

[Congregation]

Ooh!

Evelyn, that's a hurtful

thing to say to me.

Mama, could you guys be quiet?

I'm glad you sat down

[Snickers]

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