Dirty Laundry Page #8

just take a minute and talk.

So I'm gonna go and talk to the ladies

and... just make nice.

So, uh, you ain't so fancy that you can't put

on an apron and help me barbecue, are you?

- Negro, please.

- Come on.

[Continues]

[Fades]

Okay. Let me get this straight.

You're making your own sausage now?

No. Don't say it like that, man.

This is more than a sausage.

The way I see it,

pork gets a bad name.

They're always talkin' about pork is bad for you.

Pork gets your pressure up.

I don't believe all that.

Me and Abigail, we was walkin'

through the grocery store...

maybe like, uh, three,

four, five months ago.

And we got this idea, right?

'Cause they have all these turkey products

that taste like pork.

You know, you've seen 'em.

There's the turkey bacon and turkey ham...

and turkey pastrami, turkey bologna.

You know, all that.

So we thought, what if

we made a pork sausage...

that tastes like turkey sausage?

Whole new market, man.

Wide open.

- That is a new market.

- Yeah. Definitely.

So, um-

- I, uh, don't do this often.

- Oh.

I'm not very good at it.

And if, uh, Abigail

wasn't lookin' at me...

I probably wouldn't say it.

- [Laughs]

- But, uh-

About the other night...

and what I said about you, uh...

I'm sorry about that.

I appreciate that.

Actually, I'm the one

that should be apologizing.

Oh, now, see, don't get

all fancy and mushy on me.

- No, really.

- [Laughs]

Abby's watching me. I gotta keep up

my tough, manly exterior, you know.

- [Laughing]

- Got a reputation.

Yeah, you got a good woman.

Yeah. But she runs me

like a vacuum cleaner.

- Hmm.

- How's life in the city, man?

- Well, you know, it's okay.

- Just okay?

I mean, yeah.

I mean, I have a lot of things.

I have a lot of stuff.

I know the right people.

I eat at the right restaurants.

I go to the right parties. And it's just, you know-

Well, you know, man,

everything that's right ain't always right.

- Yeah.

- You was always Mama's favorite.

- Stop it.

- No, seriously. You were.

It's all right. I always knew.

You was taller than I was. You was prettier

than I was, lighter than I was.

- Thinner than I was.

- Some things never change.

- Yeah.

- Yeah. Don't start.

- [Clears Throat]

- But, uh- I mean, seriously.

I just looked up one day.

Man, you were just gone.

You know? I mean, no call.

- No letter, no note. Nothin'.

- Yeah.

And it just struck me that you just up and left

a life that I always wished I had.

[Chuckles]

But, you know, I got me a good life.

Got a good wife, a nice job...

friends, family.

- I'm makin' sausage.

- I see.

I suppose I should just be happy.

I suppose I should just be happy.

Well, aren't you?

Oh, wait a minute.

Oh, it's about that time.

So, uh, my woman is callin' me, and I'm gonna

leave you here to man the grill.

- You think you can handle that?

- Yeah, l- I got it.

I guess it's just that, uh-

[Woman Laughing]

After all this time,

you just, uh, pop back in town...

and the one thing that I want...

man, you got.

And you don't even want him.

Don't let them steaks burn!

[Man Vocalizing]

[Gabriel]

So I ain't sure if it's the right thing to do...

but I was hoping you would help me out,

just this one last time.

I'll be back later.

I promise.

[Man Singing]

Hey.

Hey.

- So what are you doing?

- Hiding. Thinking.

Thinking about what?

Nothin'.

[Grunts]

Well.

You know, when I was a little boy,

I used to come out here all the time.

Sometimes I would just

come and chill out...

or hang out,

or even write in my diary.

- Diary?

- Yes. Diary.

Well, this is a great thinking spot.

I used to solve some

of my toughest problems right here...

where you're sitting right now.

Me and my mom used to come up here.

She said she liked it here.

We used to talk and talk.

She was a good listener.

[Chuckles]

Well.

Well, I don't think I can be a better listener

than your mom was...

but I am here...

if you ever want to talk to me.

Kids at school are teasing me.

- Why?

- Lattrice.

What's a Lattrice?

- She's a girl at school.

- Oh.

Okay. And do you like this Lattrice?

Yeah.

- So do you try to talk to her?

- Uh-huh.

- And what happens?

- I throw up.

Okay.

- Come on. Let's go.

- But I don't want to.

[Chuckles]

You'll enjoy it. Trust me.

- [Frog Croaking]

- Wow.

Hey, Ryan. Some of the girls at school

are thinkin' about startin' a new class.

- You should be the teacher.

- Really? Me?

- Mm-hmm. You'd be great.

- That's a first.

No one's ever thought

I was talented before.

- You like it here?

- Yeah, it's not so bad.

- Everybody always fighting.

- You should see my family.

- [Snorts] They're worse than this?

- A lot worse.

I mean, your family's not so bad.

A little dysfunctional,

with some underlying anger issues...

but, really, it's not that bad.

Well, I can't wait to leave here.

- Me and my mom are gonna be leaving here soon.

- For reals?

Yeah, she gots a new job

working for the airline.

- Pilot?

- Flight attendant.

Oh, right.

That's even better.

I mean, free peanuts and access to all those

little tiny bottles of liquor.

- Oh, and your mom's

gonna look hot in that uniform.

- Yeah, but Gran don't know.

- Why not?

- She wants us to stay here

and be miserable like her.

Hey. That's no way to talk

about your grandmother.

I'm sure she loves you.

Mom says she means well,

but just chases folks away.

Guess that's what happened

to Grandpa, and Uncle Sheldon, and now Mom.

They all left and never came back.

Well, your uncle came back.

I mean, who knows?

Maybe he'll stick around.

He has a kid now.

Hmm. He'll probably be goin' back

to New York City, and then she'll be all alone.

Maybe.

Ryan?

- Yeah, pumpkin?

- You love Uncle Sheldon?

[Chuckles]

With all my heart.

You'd never chase him away?

[Sighs]

Never.

He's my family.

Ooh! Okay.

Enough of all this serious talk.

Tell me about school.

- Well, there is one boy.

- Oh?

Okay, well, think of Lattrice

as something that you like...

something that makes you happy.

Grilled cheese.

No. I was thinking of more along the lines

of maybe a puppy dog or world peace.

No. Grilled cheese.

Okay.

Grilled cheese it is.

All right. So...

Lattrice is the grilled cheese.

You see the grilled cheese.

You like the grilled cheese.

You walk up to the grilled cheese,

and what do you say?

- Hi.

- Hi! Hi is good.

Good, good, good, good, good. And then

you introduce yourself, and what happens?

- Then I throw up.

- Grilled cheese. Grilled cheese.

Okay. So I can talk to a sandwich.

- My man. You got it.

- Yeah.

[Laughs] Yeah, like that. That's good.

You can talk to the sandwich.

- I can talk to the sandwich.

- What are you going to say to the sandwich?

- What's up? Yeah!

- What's up! Yeah!

- Yo!

- I like it.

[Humming]

[Sighs]

[Humming Continues]

Hmm.

[Continues]

[Sighs]

[Whispering]

Hmm.

[Sheldon]

Mama?

Yeah. What?

[Sighs]

Whoo.

- You're working late, huh?

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