Dirty Rotten Scoundrels Page #4

Voila, monsieur, 200 francs.

Excuse me. Excuse me!

- Ohh!

- Sorry, ma'am. Excuse me!

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Pardon me.

Hi.

Thank you.

Sorry. Excuse me.

Thank you.

Pardon me, miss. Would you

mind placing the bet for me?

As you could see, it's terribly difficult

for me to reach the table.

Sure. What number would you like?

The way my luck's been running...

Would you pick a number for me?

I could use all the luck I can get.

Oh.

Miss? Would you ask the gentleman if he could

advance me a few dollars on this please?

I'm sorry, I cannot, monsieur.

That's fine. Thank you.

- Excuse me.

- Monsieur wins again.

Listen, maybe I can help you.

It's just that that was my last chance.

- Your last chance for what?

- My last chance for an operation.

Well, shouldn't the Navy

pay for your operation?

It's not for me. It's

for my grandmother.

I just got word from the hospital

that she's in pretty bad shape

and if they don't

operate soon, she might...

I'm sorry. I don't even know you

and here I am, bothering

you with my problems.

Oh, please don't feel that way.

Why don't you just

tell me what they are?

Just one stroke of

bad luck after another.

Andre, come with me.

10,000 francs.

That's almost $2,000.

I don't know how to thank you.

But I want you to know...

that you have saved the

life of a wonderful person.

You are a wonderful person. Thank you.

You're welcome.

Freddy... would an operation help you?

No. My problem isn't physical.

- It's emotional.

- Really?

I'm on six weeks' MTL.

Mental trauma leave.

- What happened?

- Well...

I was engaged to a

girl back in the States.

And we loved to dance.

We wanted to be professionals.

Isn't that silly?

And we got an opportunity to

perform on TV, on Dance USA.

And we decided that if

we won, we'd get married.

So, we went on and

we danced, and we won!

Oh, great!

And in the excitement...

we got separated.

So I went back to the studio...

and there they were...

naked...

dancing.

And then they stopped...

and they made love, right

there on the dance floor.

Who was she with?

Deney Terrio, the host of Dance USA.

I'm sorry.

In the morning, I woke up

and my legs were useless.

- Numb.

- Oh, my God.

- I couldn't walk.

- Oh, my God.

- Well, surely someone can help you?

- Oh, yeah. There is, but...

What?

There's this psychiatrist,

Doctor Emil Schauffhausen

in Liechtenstein.

Why don't you go to him?

A man like Schauffhausen is

in demand all over the world.

He gets astronomical fees.

It's just not something I can handle.

What do you mean by astronomical?

$50,000.

That is a lot of money.

- Freddy, are you OK?

- Oh, God.

They're dancing. They're dancing!

Freddy, we are going

up to my room right now

and write to Dr. Schauffhausen.

Oh, God! They're dancing!

- Ssh-ssh-ssh.

Oh, take me from this place!

Oh, God!

I wish you hadn't written these

things about me to Dr. Schauffhausen.

- You make me sound like a hero.

- Well, they're true, aren't they?

Yes. Still, you shouldn't

have promised him the money.

Where am I gonna get $50,000?

You leave that to me, Freddy. When the

time comes, I promise you, you'll have it.

I'm going downstairs to mail this

letter and I'll be right back.

Janet.

Thank you.

Number one! Number one!

Number one! Number one!

Dr. Schauffhausen!

Dr. Emil Schauffhausen!

Dr. Schauffhausen!

Dr. Emil Schauffhausen!

Hello again!

Are you Dr. Schauffhausen?

- Yes, Frulein.

- What a coincidence! This is a miracle!

I just wrote you a letter about

someone who needs your help.

Good. I look forward to

reading it when I get back to my clinic.

- Auf Wiedersehen.

- Uh, what?

Goodbye.

Could I just talk to you

for a minute, right now?

Please. I am on my vacation.

It's about an American

Naval Officer, Fred Benson.

You saw him. He was right next to

you at the roulette table.

- Benson. Benson.

- In the wheelchair?

Is he the one who wrote

me all those letters?

Something about his fianc

running off with a, uh... dancer.

That's the one! And he's

right here in the hotel.

I hate to disturb you while

you're on vacation, Dr. Schauffhausen,

but could I... could I just get you

to take a look at him?

I'm sorry, Fru... What is your name?

- Janet Colgate.

- Janet. Oh.

I am sorry, Janet, but if I see your

friend Benson, I have to see everyone.

I must draw the line somewhere.

But if it's a

matter of money, I...

You haven't given him

any money, have you?

Just a little bit. For his

grandmother's operation.

- Don't give him any more money.

- Why?

You see...

his ego has taken one

shattering blow from a woman.

And, if he accepts charity from

a woman, that is another blow.

- It makes my work so much harder.

- Does that mean you'll see him?

- All right. I'll see him.

- That's wonderful!

But remember what I

said. No money for him.

If I do decide to take this case,

you must pay the fee directly to me.

- You understand?

- Absolutely.

All right.

Where is the boy?

Freddy!

Freddy!

Where are you?

Boy, you can really get lost

in one of these big places.

I have a wonderful surprise for you.

- What?

- Cover your eyes.

- You are a nut!

- Go on.

Now, who is the one

person in this world,

outside of your grandmother,

that you would like most

to see right at this moment?

- I give up! Who?

- Dr. Emil Schauffhausen!

At last we meet, Officer Benson.

After all those letters,

I feel that I know you.

- He can't believe it's really you!

- Yes, I think that's it.

I am here to help you, my boy.

Great!

Now, let's have a look

at those legs, shall we?

So...

You are numb from the waist down?

- Is that correct?

- Yes, sir.

Completely numb? No feeling whatsoever?

- That's right.

- Mm-hm.

You won't be feeling Mr.

Piggy, then, will you?

No.

Tell me if you feel this.

Tickle, tickle, tickle.

- No.

- No?

We must try something else.

Something a little more stringent.

Now tell me, do you feel this?

No.

How about...

that?

- Nothing.

- Nothing, hm?

Watch yourself, Janet!

Back a little bit.

Thank you.

How about... this?!

Nothing? Hmm.

Any feeling there?

No?

This case intrigues me, Janet.

I will take Officer Benson as a patient.

Did you hear that, Freddy?

I am renting a villa in this area.

We will move him in, and I

will really go to work on him.

Oh, thank you, doctor.

Do you really think you

can get him to walk again?

I will have him running,

jumping, shouting, screaming...

or my name isn't Doctor

Emil Schauffhausen...

the Third.

Look, doctor, he's

so happy, he's crying.

Your Highness!

Mrs. Reed!

I didn't recognize you for the

moment. How wonderful to see you.

- Protector of the Veld.

- What a pleasant surprise.

How was your mission to Belahavula?

It was a great success, thanks to you.

I feel so proud.

Mrs. Reed, may I present Lady

Janet. Lady Janet, this is Mrs. Reed.

- How do you do?

- Hello.

Your Highness. Your accent.

- I'm traveling incognito.

- Oh, I see.

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