Dirty Tricks Page #9

Out, lad.

Sit down, sir.

Let's have a look at this.

So Clive Phillips is, um...

Karen's first husband

was his accountant.

Indeed. He's no longer with us,

I believe.

He died in a boating accident.

I recall the incident.

I'm a great reader

of the local press.

That, The Times crossword,

and Donizetti

are what get me

through the night.

I'm a Faur man, myself.

Really?

So this Clive Phillips?

EDWARD:
We haven't seen that

much of him since our marriage.

MOSS:

Why was that?

I didn't particularly care

for his manner with my wife.

He had a way of treating her

as if...

as if she were still single.

Karen's husband -- her second

husband, you understand,

but I'm pretty sure he had

something to do

with the death

of his wife's first husband --

kidnapped me and beat me

and abused me

and just kicked me out

in the middle of nowhere.

I had no idea where I was

when I came into town.

They hadn't mentioned

your wife's death

at this stage, of course.

IFOR:
And did he say

why he'd done it?

He was convinced I was having

an affair with his wife.

IFOR:

And were you?

We were very fond

of each other.

She will confirm that.

I just need to speak to her!

And there was another man

involved in this.

I think he might have been

some kind of Spaniard.

Look, this man

almost certainly murdered

his wife's first husband,

and I'm pretty sure

he's 'crying to kill me too.

It goes on like this.

Mr. Phillips is more than

somewhat disturbed.

He seems to be clinically

insane, if you ask me.

I just feel so grubby

about what Clive s-said.

I suppose it would have been

different if we'd had kids.

Kiddies are lovely, sir.

Karen always said

she didn't want them.

Perhaps she was just being kind.

She knew about my vasectomy.

[ Crying 1

EDWARD:

The beauty of the dead

is that you can say

what the hell you like

without the slightest fear

of contradiction.

If only we could have

had children.

There -- There might have been

something of her left.

[ Sobbing ]

I'll get some tea and biscuits,

shall I, sir'?

Very kind.

Where exactly

was her body found'?

Up Rhayader way, sir.

Rhayader'?

That's odd.

Why'?

Oh, it's just a coincidence,

but we stayed there once.

The Rhayader Valley Court.

Last September.

Just before...

before we got engaged.

[ Sobbing ]

Even this Welsh idiot

could be trusted to find out

that Karen and Clive

had been booked into

the same hotel that weekend

and the deposit

was on her credit card.

I'm so sorry.

They'd find out she was

pregnant in the postmortem.

And I'd already given them

my vasectomy.

So foolish of Clive

to lie about his affair.

It wasn't gonna look good.

I think

that'll probably be enough.

[ Door opens ]

It's a pity

no one saw you on Saturday.

[ Door closes]

[ Sobbing ]

Back home in Oxford,

I finally decided it was time

for a 'caste offensive

on Dennis's furniture.

Now I was its sole owner,

I felt I needed

to put my own mark

on number 9 Ramillies Drive.

Can you sign here, please?

Cheers.

Is this a social call'?

Be easier to talk inside, sir.

If you wouldn't mind.

No, not at all.

Please. Come in.

Our friends up in Wales

asked us to drop by

to let you know the position.

Which is'?

Apparently, Clive Phillips

has confessed

to the murder of your wife.

- Good God.

- Yes, I was surprised.

Still, he ought to know

Whether he's committed a murder

or not, oughtn't he'?

Yes.

Yes, I suppose so.

Once we found earth

from the demolition site

in Mr. Phillips's car, sir,

it was all over for him.

What demolition site'?

And he was foolish enough

to crash his car into a Wall

near the reservoir.

And it seems that forensic tests

have shown that your wife

was pregnant by Phillips.

Do you mean to tell me,

Inspector...

...that she

and Clive Phillips Were...

I'm afraid so, sir.

[ Sobbing ]

I could not believe my luck.

For a moment

I found myself wondering

whether Clive

had actually murdered Karen.

Then why did he kill her'?

In God's name, why'?

Apparently,

they'd gone away together.

To Rhayader.

Maybe she told him

that she was pregnant.

Maybe they quarreled.

It's all in the confession.

I suppose I should hate him.

I just feel tremendous pity

for both of them.

Indeed.

It was a remarkably detailed

confession.

If I was in any other country

but England,

I'd say they beat it out of him.

Well, I suppose it wasn't

England really, sir, was it'?

It was Wales.

Can I offer you gentlemen

a cup of tea'?

Oh, yes, please.

Carlos, it's me.

I'm at Malagrena Victory Airport

still trying

to get through to you

and still getting your machine.

You're probably out shagging.

Anyway, this is just to say that

I'll make my way to your place.

So there I was, not just

a widower -- a wronged widower.

I couldn't believe my luck.

You been in our country before.

Indeed.

Some years ago.

I loved it.

- You will find changes here.

-I embrace change.

As I always have.

Seems like yesterday

I was proposing to her

by that reservoir.

And then suddenly...

...there she is

lying at the bottom of it

with a concrete post

tied to her.

Yeah, it's too horrible.

Don't let's dwell on it.

Look, I know this is probably

the last thing

you want to think about

right now,

but Dennis's life was insured

for three-quarters

of a million pounds

and Karen's for even more.

Now, when the wills

are through probate,

you get all of that.

That all seems so meaningless.

You'll be worth

nearly two million.

So what?

What does it mean'?

I'll have a bottle of champagne

and one glass, please.

- MAN:
Right you are, sir.

- Celebrating something, are we'?

It's a reaction, I think,

Inspector.

Yes.

- To grief.

-lndeed.

Would you make that two glasses'?

You're very kind, sir.

I'm afraid I've got

some bad news for you.

He hasn't done anything stupid,

I hope.

I'm sorry?

Uh, hang- hanged himself

in prison.

Or something.

Remorse.

Oh, I don't think he feels

any remorse, sir.

In fact, he's changed his plea.

He says he's not guilty

of the murder.

Some cock-and-bull story

about her dying in a car crash

and him trying to cover it up.

There will have to be a trial,

I'm afraid.

That'll be 25, please, sir.

-[ Cork pops ]

- Thank you.

The trial was an ordeal.

I never realized I'd become

a national celebrity.

Fame isn't

all it's cracked up to be.

The press latched onto me

as the grieving widower.

It required

all my acting skills.

This was really for one purpose

and one purpose only.

There was still one woman

in whom I was interested

and for whose benefit

I had to look good.

Her name?

Alison Kraemer, of course.

Cultured, pure,

beautiful Alison.

Clive was clearly not gonna

make it easy for me.

I was going to have to make

a good showing on the stand.

So after you saw your wife off

on the train,

how did you spend

the rest of the day'?

I didn't do much.

Watched television.

Went for a Walk.

And the day after'?

-[ Crying ]

- My lord, I really must object.

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