Do Not Disturb Page #2

What's that mean?

You're settled.

So you're pissed off.

Doesn't stop me.

- You're gonna do porn?

- If feel like it.

What kind of porn

do you have in mind?

What kind?

Yeah, what kind of porn?

Soft, hard, fetish, vintage,

glamor, Latino,

anal, a cum flick...

- Bi...

- Eco?

- Eco!

- Well?

First need a camera.

If you're acting, get a zoom lens.

A macro zoom lens.

Blah, blah.

You should check out their site.

They have the synopses

of their films.

- Like the one with E.T.

- E.T.?

He comes back to see Elliot.

There's still light

but it's not in his fingertip...

Listen to this!

"Experimental pop art:

artists eat food coloring

to ejaculate colored cum

onto a transparent screen."

What's she doing?

Is that a traffic cone?

Everything's been done.

Just tap "porno" in Google.

If we make a film,

it's got to be something unique.

Hear you.

Then I'll f*** you.

That's so old.

It's not like gay porn was rare.

She's right, we've seen tons.

Guys on top of guys, under guys,

inside guys. A f***ing bore.

That having been said...

No one has ever filmed

non-gay man-on-man action.

Straight guys f***ing.

Guys like you, f***ing.

She's right.

I'll f*** you.

- Are you nuts?

- You chicken?

What's an artist?

Isn't it someone who pushes limits?

You're the artist, I'll f*** you.

Could you do it?

Could you do it?

If you could, it would be fabulous.

But can you really do it?

I'll swallow a pill and swear

I'll tear you inside out!

You've got something.

That's what we'll do.

- Ready?

- What for?

Us. Two straights. Four nuts.

It transcends gay...

It's beyond gay.

It's what are you doing in my butt?

Seriously, if you can express

your long friendship like this...

Friendship always contains love.

- Love you Ben.

- Love you Jeff.

If were on the jury,

I'd give you first prize.

It would be magnificent!

Magnificent.

A work of art.

Not only can't trust you,

but your child can't either.

Before he's even born,

before he's here, you let him down.

When he needs you most,

when he needs your sperm

and your genetic resources...

You let him down.

He's done everything possible

to come to you...

and you're with people

who aren't even ovulating.

Ben,

come home.

If you ire satisfied

with your message, press 7

if you would like to re-record it

love you, but bet

when you've sobered up

tomorrow, you'll back out.

Even in your wildest dreams,

you'd never do it.

OK, let's sign up now.

I'll book us a hotel room right now.

We'll do your film.

I'll book it now.

- What?

- Nothing.

- Sunday night?

- I'll nail you.

No way. I'll nail you.

- I'll call 'em up.

- We draw lots.

- I'll call.

- Let me hear.

No problem.

Want to quit?

Don't want to quit!

Information, how may help you?

Hello, could you put me through to

the Sofitel at Porte DE Champerret?

I'll nail you!

Please hold.

Thank you.

Can still hang up.

I'm gonna crucify you!

- Should I put you through?

- Yes.

All the way through!

...23452.

And the security code...

Forget security!

Single or queen -size?

Queen-size is fine.

Yes, just one night.

Thanks a lot.

I'm the one paying.

I'm the one f***ing you.

'Morning.

Nice wake-up call.

How about "Good morning"?

No talking. I'm busy.

Yeah, you look busy.

Shut up!

What the hell is this?

Forget it.

Sorry, but this is a bit weird.

What happened last night?

- Well?

- Wait a minute.

Can we rewind? You come in

and straddle me brutally.

You know was ovulating last night.

thought we could try this morning.

Sorry, f***ed up.

I'm sorry, OK?

What did you do last night?

Was with Jeff.

He was wasted. thought

should keep an eye on him.

So...

decided to sober up

before coming home.

It took you till 4 AM to sober up?

Come on, Ben, don't bullshit me!

Jeff's a big boy.

You haven't seen him in ages.

He managed fine without your help.

It was a cool party.

Yeah, mean,

they won't become my best friends,

but it was fun, you know.

It was nice to see some new faces,

to talk, to hang out.

Enjoyed it, OK?

Anna...

We're gonna have kids. We shouldn't

cut ourselves off from others.

We should throw parties like that.

"We" should throw parties?

You left me all alone last night.

Invited you!

You invited me? You invited me!

Yes, invited you.

Everyone invited you.

" Don't know if you'll like it,

they're weird..."

Sounded like fun!

That was before

the mood changed, OK?

Should've called back.

You met a girl?

What?

Did you?

What's this?

OK, drop it.

Sorry.

Screwed up. apologize.

Screwed up. apologize.

Forgive me, my love.

Love you, I'm sorry.

My love, I'm sorry.

Screwed up.

It's my fault, screwed up.

Croissants!

Muchas gracias.

Game!

5-1.

My serve.

Time-out.

Spoken to your coach?

Can we start?

I'm concentrating.

Ready?

Player 719 serve.

Don't mess around!

OK, no messing.

Sure?

You f***in' jerk!

Don't take it so seriously.

You b*tch!

You're too serious!

I'm serious!

B*tch!

See if I'm serious!

Get off me!

You'll do the shopping, right?

Are we done after this?

Want to visit some galleries,

maybe get laid.

Isn't that already done?

What?

I'm trying to remember...

Don't pretend

you can't remember last night.

Sorry, got you

into some twisted sh*t.

Look, it was a weird night.

It happens. Not your fault.

It f***in' is.

Turn up at your place,

we get wasted,

talk about gay sex,

leave your wife at home.

Don't worry about her.

You didn't make me stay.

Could've gone home.

Had a great time.

You don't have to apologize.

We go back along way, even if

our lives are very different.

And in the life you have now, I'm

not sure it was very appropriate.

I'm not judging you-

Look, Mr. Jacques Kerouac,

with your crappy bandana,

I'm not that much of a homebody.

Everything's black or white to you.

Just think

it's a great art project.

Think it's great, too.

But in your situation...

My situation?

Are you trying 10...?

- Won't force you.

- know.

I'm just saying

last night, we were drunk,

so you can back out.

Forget your preconceived ideas

about me, OK?

Each man for himself.

I'll do it if like.

My marriage won't stop me

doing anything.

Anna and are very close.

You wouldn't know.

But we have an open relationship,

we're free to do as we like.

I'm just saying...

Don't decide for me.

I'm not.

I'm talking to you as a friend.

There's no problem, that's all.

You know, you can...

You're not bound by it.

We're very different now.

Look, shut up for a minute.

I'll end up thinking

you're narrow-minded or retarded.

Stop trying to find excuses for me.

You know what?

It's like you're trying to blame me

for what you can't face up to.

Be honest...

Shoot.

Do you think you can screw me

for this film tomorrow?

You bet.

You could or you would?

Would.

You won't say to me:

"We should go our own separate ways,

'cause an artist's life..."

Not that again.

It was 15 years ago!

You didn't need me in Peru

to write poems on coca leaves.

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