Doc Hollywood Page #5

I mean, that's... that's not entirely true.

I mean, I have the money.

I'm good for the money.

It's just a matter of, you know,

accessing the money in a period of time.

Can we work something out, please?

I mean, I...

.. this car has got to be ready by

the time I leave, you know?

That your pig?

Yeah.

You want to trade?

Uh, pig for the part?

If you can part with the pig.

Good.

Hi.

Hi.

You just pick those?

Yes, ma'am.

They're protected by law. State flowers.

Figures.

Well I'm already serving time for the fence.

I might as well take my chances, right?

Mama! Mama, who is it?

Who are you?

I'm, uh, uh, Ben.

Emma, take these inside and

put them in some water, okay?

You're not supposed to pick these.

Use the plastic pitcher.

Yeah, she's mine. She's four.

You wanna retreat now or...

No, no, no. I... No, I... actually,

I just came by because, uh,

I need a date for dinner tomorrow night.

Nick Nicholson's?

Yeah, how'd you know?

Can't poop in this town without

everyone knowing what color it is.

I was, uh, fixing to have a cocktail.

Are you in a hurry?

Oh man, that's tart.

It's called a "slow comfortable screw up

against a wall," with a twist.

Is that a Grady specialty?

No, New York City.

New York?

Yeah.

I worked at one of those weirdo

theme bars on the West Side.

Wayne and I went to college in New York.

Wayne.

Then he dropped out, I got pregnant.

He couldn't get work, so I bartended.

I managed to finish school, though.

Um, Wayne isn't still...

Wayne is a professional dancer.

You know, one of those exotic Chippendale

things. He's in Boston, Miami.

I can't keep track.

He left me after Emma was born.

I divorced him and came running back here.

Wayne has this extremely

high opinion of his legs.

You know,

I just can't picture you in the big city.

I mean, New York. Yeah, it's like me...

In Grady?

Yeah.

Well, peel an onion. There's lots of layers.

What layer is Hank on?

Henry Gordon's sweet on me.

And he's pretty decent and

solid once you get past..

.. the Insurance Rebel

Without a Clause routine.

Decent and solid. Very romantic.

I can see you comin' from

half a mile away, Dr. Stone.

You and your slick city ways.

I suspect your version of romance is

whatever will separate me from my panties.

Okay, look. All I'm talking about is dinner.

You know, in public. Wear a dress.

Panties are optional.

Well, I never have had dinner at the

mayor's house. -Oh boy.

After all how could I possibly refuse the

man who saved Jasmine from the butcher?

What? Wait, what are you talking about?

Tidwell's pig.

He was about to take her in

and sell her for pork chops,

.. you hadn't fixed his foot

and made him feel guilty.

Emma loves pigs.

You keeping her over at your house?

Lane! Lane! Lane, where's Melvin?

Where's Melvin? I, I want my pig back.

Wait. Did you say he went

to church at this hour?

A big revival meetin' up in Tylerville.

He won't be back 'til...

Hey Lane!

Are you allowed to come out here?

'Cause I can't understand

what the hell you're saying.

Melvin's gone to church.

He's gone to Tylerville.

The pig? She got took to the butcher.

Melvin took my pig to the butcher?

What?

Ah, Mr. Crawford. Uh, where's my pig?

You know, Jasmine, my

pig. Is, uh, is she still alive?

Oh yes. She's in the back.

Ah. Thank God. Thank God. I want her back,

Well, Doc...

All right, I know what you're gonna say.

Fair enough. Um, you take plastic?

Not unless it's wrapped

around a stack of cash.

All right, listen.

Uh, maybe we can work it out in trade.

Um, I don't know.

I ain't been sick in three years, Doc.

But I got an idea.

Say, where did you learn to carve like that?

You're pretty darn good with a knife.

Whoa! Hey, Maddie. Hey, Emma.

Hi Doc.

So, you guys are pig-sitting for me tonight?

Hey, Jasmine.

Whoa! Who are you?

Don't tease me.

No, I'm serious. You look little like Lou,

.. but you're a lot prettier.

I'm warning you, Stone.

I could probably whoop you in a fistfight.

All right. All right.

Be a good girl.

I will. Bye.

Okay, whoa, Okay, hold on. Be a good girl.

We'll be late.

Not too much TV for her, okay?

Okay.

She's a real pig about that.

Hi! Come on in! Welcome!

Thanks.

You look fantastic!

So do you.

And you look handsome, too.

Thanks.

Daddy's in the backyard tending

his usual firestorm in the barbecue.

So you're Nick's daughter.

Oh gosh, I hope so. I'm in his will.

Hey, y'all. Looks who's here.

Hello Lou. 'Lo Stone.

Check Hollywood for knives.

I don't want him operating on me

later, in case I sneeze or something.

Isn't this gonna be fun?

Oh, no thank you. I'm a vegetarian.

I know, dear. But I'm still hopeful.

So am I... a vegetarian.

Oh, since when?

Then you have some of this squash,

Ben Stone. Flesh of the earth. Don't be shy.

I'm not sure I trust a man

who doesn't eat meat.

Hank, don't be so provincial.

Where's your sense of adventure?

Probably give vegetarians a better

rate for life insurance than a smoker,

.. though, for example.

On account of that low cholesterol factor.

Daddy, please? New subject.

We wanna hear all about California.

I heard that the women out there have

their chests enlarged,

.. their thighs vacuumed and barf on purpose

Not while people are eating.

Yeah, tell us about real doctorin', Stone.

You know, big city medicine, huh?

Well, you know, so much has

changed in the forty years..

.. since you went to medical school, Doctor.

I wouldn't really know where to start.

Smart ass.

Got you good!

More squash, Ben?

No, I mean, no, no thank you.

"Out of the cradle endlessly rocking...

Out of the mockingbird's throat...

The musical shuttle...

Out of the ninth month... "

Is this one of the long ones? -No.

Long ones?

Doc Hogue does the complete Walt Whitman

if you don't monitor his drinking.

"Down from the showered halo...

Up from the mystical play of shadows. "

Man, I haven't seen this

many stars in a long time.

I used to get so bored in this town,

I'd try to count 'em.

I could've gone to med school.

Just the science part of it I

had a problem with.

I'd lie on my back. Sometimes Wayne would

be on top of me, doing the wild thing.

It was hard not to lose my place.

God, that's romantic.

Then we moved to Manhattan. You could

hardly see any stars, let alone count 'em.

The stars I'd like to see are

more of the two-legged kind.

Earthquake insurance's something I'm

keen to take a whack at out there in L.A.

Talk about your no-brainer.

Collect premiums for a gazillion years,

and if the Big One ever does hit,

.. declare bankruptcy and retire.

Decent and solid.

Nobody's perfect.

Hank, you gotta take Hogue home.

He's about to launch into "Song of Myself. "

Oh, my Lord.

Never a dull moment, eh, Ben Stone?

I'll call you later.

Make sure you got home okay.

Goodnight.

G'night.

Ouch! Sh*t!

Hey, I forgot my pig.

She's sleeping with Em.

I'll drop her off in the morning.

Greek death? Take the edge off.

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