Dope Page #5

I spaced on

my college interviews.

I only have 20 minutes to get down

there or my whole life is f***ed.

I'll take you.

What?

I'll take you.

- Whee!

- Lily! Lily, get up!

Oh, Lily! It's a stop sign!

Lily, stop. Stop!

Stop!

Oh, sh*t.

Lily.

Lily!

Lily! I gotta pee! I gotta pee!

Get out of my house!

Let me use the toilet!

Lily! Get back!

- Lily!

- I gotta pee! I gotta pee! I gotta pee!

I gotta pee! I gotta pee!

I gotta pee! I gotta pee!

What the f***?

Tell you what's going down.

We gon' order our food.

And then you can order your

lunch or whatever the f*** else.

A'ight? Then we gon' keep it pushin'.

Yeah?

Shut your f***in'-

Diggy, fries, fries, fries!

I want my motherfucking dope!

I want my f***ing dope!

Sh*t, where the f*** is Jaleel?

F***! That was our ride. What the f-

Run, run, run!

Freeze! Down on your knees!

Keep your hands up!

What the f***?

Mr. Jacoby's just wrapping up a

staff meeting. He'll be a few minutes.

Dom?

Is that- Is that Dom?

Oh, sh*t.

Austin Jacoby.

Nice to meet you,

Malcolm.

Take a seat.

Come on, relax.

So, uh...

Malcolm Adekanbi.

Did I pronounce that

right?

Yeah? Great.

You're Nigerian.

My dad, um-

He- He went back to Nigeria

before I was born.

Sorry to hear that.

I know what it's like

to grow up without a father.

That's why I spend a lot of time and

a lot of money with the Boys Club.

Those, um-

Those kids-

A- Are they your kids?

Yes, they are.

Not too much older

than you.

So you know Dominique?

Excuse me?

You- You probably

know him as Dom.

No. Sorry.

Why do you ask?

Dom gave me something...

to deliver to someone.

As crazy as it seems,

I- I think

that someone is you.

This Dom person-

what did he say

that, uh,

I should have to do

with this, uh, delivery?

I don't know.

I just know that he told me

to deliver it to A.J., so-

And why did you do it?

- I didn't have a choice.

- Oh, come on, Malcolm.

Come on.

You always have a choice.

You could have done a lot

of things with that package.

You're a smart kid. I'm sure

you thought about all of them.

But you chose to make the

delivery for this Dom person...

because you thought it was,

what, in your best interest?

So, you should

take responsibility...

for the choice

that you've made.

Now, you know I'm not

the person or persons...

for whom this delivery

was intended.

Something happened

along the way.

It's like, uh, Amazon.

If you order a Rick Ross

or Macklemore CD-

I would not order

a Macklemore CD.

That wouldn't happen.

All right. Who, then?

Casey Veggies.

Casey Veggies?

That's- That's an artist?

Yeah.

Yeah, okay. All right.

So, you order a Casey

Veggies CD from Amazon, right?

No, you don't order

a Casey Veggies CD.

You just go online

and you download it.

Yeah, okay. All right.

But you are aware that

Amazon does ship discs, right?

And if you order that disc and it

does not come in a timely fashion,

you're gonna call them

and say, "Where's my stuff?"

And Amazon has to

assume responsibility.

But it's just one CD.

But what if it's 100 orders

and 100 CDs don't show up?

Or a thousand?

Or 10,000?

It's a slippery slope.

Slippery slope.

So, Amazon has

got to assume...

the full cost

of the loss.

But most importantly,

they have to deal with the loss

of their reputation.

A reputation that has taken

a long time to build.

You understand

what I'm saying?

So let's do this.

Let's reschedule

this interview...

for a few weeks from now.

Give it a little time.

Go out there.

Make the delivery for which you

have claimed responsibility...

to the appropriate

consumers...

so that the suppliers

of this product...

can be whole.

Metaphorically speaking,

of course.

If you're able

to do this,

it shows me more

about you...

than any interview

ever could.

And I would then

make it my business...

to make you

a man of Harvard.

I want you to get out of

The Bottoms just like I did.

I know from growing up there

it's very, very dangerous...

and that your family or your friends

could get killed at any moment...

just by being in the wrong

place at the wrong time.

I'd hate for that

to happen to you...

or any

of your family members.

Getting on?

Looks like you and I

had the same kind of day.

How'd the interview go?

Okay.

Well, sit down.

My shift's almost over.

I'll take you home.

Thanks, Mom.

The incident took place today

at Seven Bucks Coffee-

apparently the side effects of the

popular club drug MDMA, or "Molly. "

Tannehill James was a witness

to this bizarre scene.

So, I'm here at the Seven Bucks,

drinking my vanilla chai latte...

and eating me

some pound cake.

'Cause you know niggas

don't eat scones, right?

When all of a sudden this crazy

little naked ho comes up...

and she squatted down right in front

of me and she pissed right there.

I swear to God.

Pissed right there

for a long time.

So, now, you tell me how am I

supposed to eat my pound cake...

after witnessing

something like that?

Reporting live, Karen Myetta,

Channel 10 News.

Up next, a fight over lunch

turns deadly in Inglewood.

Did he actually say, "I'll kill you and

your friends if you don't sell these drugs"?

Or just you? What?

Don't act like you weren't

curious too. Not directly.

He was talking about Amazon and Rick

Ross CDs not getting to their customers.

Niggas don't even buy

CDs anymore, dawg.

Jib, that's not

the f***ing point!

Are you gonna go and sell on the corner?

'Cause we're a bunch of b*tches, man.

Speak for yourself, Jib.

Yes.

I am a b*tch-ass nigga. I don't

give a f***. I own that sh*t.

Who are you trying

to impress, Diggy?

We're talking about Molly,

Jib, not f***ing heroin.

All we gotta do

is find the white people.

- Go to Coachella, Lollapalooza.

- Yeah, yeah.

We can backpack and hitchhike and sing Mumford

and Sons songs and all that faux f***ing sh*t.

F*** you. Okay?

I'm just saying it could work.

Yeah, yeah. Why stop there, you

know? Why not hit Bonnaroo also?

Bitcoins.

That's how we do it.

Do what?

Oh, sh*t.

There's these sites where you can

- you can sell everything...

from fake credit cards

to illegal guns and drugs.

And they use Bitcoins

so they can't be traced.

We don't have to

stand on any corner.

Dark Web. Could work.

Way better than Coachella.

Guys, the FBI can track us. The police

- No, they can't.

- Not if you use a Tor browser.

- What the f*** is that?

- Onion routing.

- Layered encryptions.

It's like a game of Whac-A-Mole

with thousands of computers-

What the f***

is a Whac-A-Mole?

Look, these dark Web sites run

off these secret IP addresses.

Like LulzSec-level shady.

We need to find one somehow.

W-

William Ian Sherwood III.

Musician, scholar, rake,

entrepreneur, conspiracy theorist.

Malcolm, Jib and Diggy met William

at band camp three years ago.

Yo, if you niggas need some weed,

I got you. Good sh*t. Fair prices.

William assured them that

he used the word "nigga"...

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