Dorian Blues Page #4

- No, it's not a straight word.

Oh.

Never heard one of my

friends say fabulous.

- Oh, OK.

- Well what do I say instead?

U h, say...

...awesome.

OK.

It's awesome.

That would be awesome.

- OK.

- It's awesome, man.

Good.

I know, it feels good,

I like it.

- It's f***ing awesome.

- That's it.

Yeah.

All right, let's go

down to the basement.

What are we going to

do in the basement?

We're gonna fight.

- Did you say fight?

- Yup.

- Actually fight.

- Actually, physically fight.

You're going to teach

me how to fight.

No, not teach, just fight.

If you happen to pick up

some pointers along the way...

...good for you.

I don't understand.

See you want me to help you,

this is how we start.

We mix it up, mano y mano.

OK, but I think

we're short a mano.

See that's just it.

You're a p*ssy.

- You've always been a p*ssy.

- Ouch.

This is for real?

Can't be straight if

you're a chicken sh*t.

I'm not a chicken sh*t.

Stand up.

Ok.

Now drive your elbow back.

The other one.

There you go.

OK.

OK, tough guy, you

wanna see something?

Please.

- You want to see what I've got?

- I'm waiting.

- You might be surprised.

- Surprise me.

Come on, Dorian,

it was just a jab.

I didn't see it coming.

OK, OK, relax, relax,

elbows in, take it easy...

...just breathe.

Ah-ha!

Faked you out, jock boy!

Not hurt at all.

Oh, what's the matter Rambo?

Hurt your little thumb?

You sneaky little...

Sneaky?

I don't think sneaky's

a straight word, bro.

Try ballsy.

Aaaaaah!

Diiiiieeee!

Oooh, sh*t!

You alright?

Dor?

Dor?

Look, I am trying to

help you, allright?

- So please don't embarrass me.

- Embarrass you?

Look at what I'm wearing.

Will you stop milking that?

Milk?

It was a concussion!

- And there was blood!

- It was an accident!

Just forget about it and concentrate

on acting like a real guy.

## Kiss me here, 'cause I've

got the dirt on you my dear. ##

## It's your turn to hurt so kiss me

here I'm gonna make you pay. ##

What's your name?

Tiffany.

##... And it's clear

you're not too brilliant. ##

## Kiss me here, go

on and make my day. ##

Oh... Oh my... Easy,

I'm nursing a concussion.

- You like her?

- I like her shoes.

No, her.

Do you like her?

Actually, I think

she's quite sensuous.

Excellent.

Where have you been?

I've been sitting here...

Been talking to that

dancer, Tiffany.

- She's agreed to help us out.

- What does that mean?

It means she's gonna

sleep with you bro.

Tonight.

- You're full of it.

- No, I'm serious.

- I don't believe you.

- Believe it, Dor.

She gets off work at two,

you show up at her place at 2:30...

...by 2:
35, this

virgin sh*t is over.

- This is for real?

- Totally for real.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Well, to tell you the truth I

don't know how I feel about this.

Feel great about it,

all right?

And do us both a favor,

don't over think it.

- I won't, but I'm just so...

- No, you got to do this, Dor.

This is what's gonna

make the difference.

- I hope so but...

- No buts, OK?

- OK.

- OK?

Yeah, OK!

Wow.

Wow.

So I guess she kind

of liked me, huh...

I mean enough to

want to, you know...

Yeah, for a hundred

bucks she liked you fine.

What?

You paid her a hundred bucks.

Hey relax, this

is totally on me.

Oh my God, N icky.

It's not the money,

it's the principle.

What principles have you got?

You're between

this and sodomy.

You set me up with a hooker.

She's not a hooker, she's a dancer

who does some of this on the side.

- So she's a part-time hooker.

- She's a lovely, sensuous girl.

- You said so yourself.

- All right!

So my first time will

be with a lovely...

...sensuous dancer

named Tiffany.

Well, uh... Just so you know,

it's a stage name.

These dancers pick sexy

sounding names for the dancing.

- What's her real name?

- Bunny.

Come on in.

- You're all sweaty.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

It's all right.

U h, I have deodorant on,

just not antiperspirant.

It's OK.

I, I didn't want to

wear this for this.

- Should I throw it out?

- Yeah.

Can I get you something

cold to drink?

U h, does it cost extra?

- No.

- Sure.

- Getting ready?

- No, uh.

It's OK.

Stay.

You know, I don't

mind that you're gay.

No, no.

What I mean is, I'm usually

not attracted to the guys I'm with...

...so, um, if you're not attracted

to me then everything's even.

That's not it, it...

What?

It's just, I can't believe

what I've been reduced to...

...someone who has to

pay for a sex life.

I mean, I'm a romantic.

How long have you

been doing this?

About a year.

Why do you need

the money so badly?

You got a crack

habit or something?

No, no nothing like that.

Actually, I'm saving to

move down to New York.

Really? What are you going

to do down there?

- Try and be a singer.

- You sing?

And dance. I do some

vocal impersonations.

Wow, you're multi-talented.

I wish I had one talent.

I'm sure you have one.

Not unless you

count melancholy.

Got a gift for that.

- Who do you do?

- Excuse me?

You said you

impersonate singers?

Oh... A lot of people.

Well do one,

and let me guess.

- No, I can't.

- Why not?

Cause I'm embarrassed.

You're embarrassed

to sing for me?

Did you forget what

I came here for?

OK.

## I don't know why but

I'm feeling so sad. ##

## I long to try something

I've never had. ##

## Never had no kissin'.

Oh what I've been missin'. ##

## Lover man, Lover man, ##

## Where can you be? ##

Billie Holiday.

- Very good.

- Very good yourself.

- That was wonderful.

- Yeah, I love her.

- Do you know any country?

- Country?

Yeah, I love country.

Please don't think

any less of me.

## Worry. Why do I

let myself worry? ##

## Wondrin', what in

the world did I do? ##

## I'm crazy for tryin'

and crazy for cryin'. ##

## And I'm crazy for lovin' you. ##

No, no, no.

Oh, no, no.

U h.

It's just, it's never

gonna happen for me.

What?

I just want to feel good,

you know, sometimes.

I'm sick of being scared.

I'm scared a lot of

the times myself.

- You are?

- Yeah.

You wanna know

what I do about it?

What?

I pretend... Like I'm in one of

those big old Hollywood musicals.

Where everyone's fine,

and happy, and in love.

And I pretend

like I'm in love.

I sing, I dance...

- You delude yourself.

- Yeah, but it works.

Hey, you want to dance

with me right now.

No, no, no.

It's a pick me up.

I swear it always works.

U h, I can't dance, I know it

sounds weird coming from a gay guy.

You can dance,

everybody can dance.

- Come on, I'll teach you.

- It's not that simple.

No, it's that's simple.

Look, I don't know

where you're from...

...but you may have missed

a really important lesson.

You want to feel good,

you gotta work at it.

Now get up.

Well, feeling good for

me has never been simple...

...and learning a dance,

impossible.

But Tiffany was convinced

that if you worked hard enough...

...the universe

owed you an MGM moment.

And work we did.

And you know what?

Before the night was done,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes